Why do some things just have to be so complicated??
I'm finally home...but not for long. I leave for Ohio tomorrow night. I'll arrive in St. Louis around 5:45 am, then Dayton at 3:45 pm. Since it's Greyhound, I prolly won't arrive in Ohio till 4 or 5 pm. I do have a lot to do before I leave. I need to unpack all my shit from school & repack for my trip. So much to do, so little time.
I'm happy to be leaving, though. Not just to go see Johnny, but things are pretty crazy at my house right now. My Mom is seriously dating this guy...to the point that he has moved in with us. This really doesn't bother me. I'm never home & I'll be moving out on my own very soon anyway. But my little brother, Andy, does not like it one bit. He's going to be 16 soon & has to live here.
My brother & I are not exactly used to "father figures" being around. Our grandpa was the only type of "father" we had, but he died when I was 12 & Andy at 6. Mom never dated men after Andy's father, so we never had that "Oh, Mom's got a new boyfriend" thing. In the last year my Mom has gone on several dates, but nothing serious. Then she met Rich & things are getting very serious. Marriage is quite possibly in the forecast.
Don't get me wrong, I really want my Mom to be happy, she deserves it. And I like Rich, but my brother...he's so...Andy. There really is no way to describe him. But he can be VERY selfish & I would not put it past him to make idle threats (even those of suicide...at least I hope they're idle) just so Mom won't marry Rich & things would be back to "normal." Something my family has never been.
Mom has already made it very clear that if she had to choose between Rich & her family...she'd choose her family. But I don't want her to choose. I just want her to be happy, but I want my brother to be happy to.
It's not like Rich is trying to come in & be a father to us. I think of him more as a companion for Mom. Rich is 53 (Mom's 46) has grown children of his own & doesn't feel the need to "raise" me or Andy. I mean, I'm full grown & at college...Andy's 16 & will prolly go to Vo-Tech & move out at 18. 2 years. That's not that far away.
*sigh* I normally don't have to worry about the drama in my family, but when I'm home it makes up for what I missed. I get very stressed & worried about everything when I'm at home. I hate that. That's why I really want to just move out. I have my own life to live...I don't need the extra stress.
I know it's weird to have a "man around the house," but it's not that bad. I kinda like it. It's the closest thing my brother & I will ever get to a father, so we may as well take advantage of it. Right??
I went to the eye doctor today to get some new contacts. My vision has gotten just a tad worse, so I got to try a new brand that is supposed to help reduce the worsening of Myopia (near sightedness for those that don't know Optometry lingo). So I have bright, shinny new contacts & I ran into an old friend from high school, Crystal. We weren't really close, but hung out in the bandstand at football games & had a nice chat as I went through the little "dot in the box" test. Nice. Makes me feel old sometimes to know I graduated from high school in 1999. But I won't worry about that until I qualify for the "Senior Citizens" discount.
I'm happy to be leaving, though. Not just to go see Johnny, but things are pretty crazy at my house right now. My Mom is seriously dating this guy...to the point that he has moved in with us. This really doesn't bother me. I'm never home & I'll be moving out on my own very soon anyway. But my little brother, Andy, does not like it one bit. He's going to be 16 soon & has to live here.
My brother & I are not exactly used to "father figures" being around. Our grandpa was the only type of "father" we had, but he died when I was 12 & Andy at 6. Mom never dated men after Andy's father, so we never had that "Oh, Mom's got a new boyfriend" thing. In the last year my Mom has gone on several dates, but nothing serious. Then she met Rich & things are getting very serious. Marriage is quite possibly in the forecast.
Don't get me wrong, I really want my Mom to be happy, she deserves it. And I like Rich, but my brother...he's so...Andy. There really is no way to describe him. But he can be VERY selfish & I would not put it past him to make idle threats (even those of suicide...at least I hope they're idle) just so Mom won't marry Rich & things would be back to "normal." Something my family has never been.
Mom has already made it very clear that if she had to choose between Rich & her family...she'd choose her family. But I don't want her to choose. I just want her to be happy, but I want my brother to be happy to.
It's not like Rich is trying to come in & be a father to us. I think of him more as a companion for Mom. Rich is 53 (Mom's 46) has grown children of his own & doesn't feel the need to "raise" me or Andy. I mean, I'm full grown & at college...Andy's 16 & will prolly go to Vo-Tech & move out at 18. 2 years. That's not that far away.
*sigh* I normally don't have to worry about the drama in my family, but when I'm home it makes up for what I missed. I get very stressed & worried about everything when I'm at home. I hate that. That's why I really want to just move out. I have my own life to live...I don't need the extra stress.
I know it's weird to have a "man around the house," but it's not that bad. I kinda like it. It's the closest thing my brother & I will ever get to a father, so we may as well take advantage of it. Right??
I went to the eye doctor today to get some new contacts. My vision has gotten just a tad worse, so I got to try a new brand that is supposed to help reduce the worsening of Myopia (near sightedness for those that don't know Optometry lingo). So I have bright, shinny new contacts & I ran into an old friend from high school, Crystal. We weren't really close, but hung out in the bandstand at football games & had a nice chat as I went through the little "dot in the box" test. Nice. Makes me feel old sometimes to know I graduated from high school in 1999. But I won't worry about that until I qualify for the "Senior Citizens" discount.