My new play
Writers Block
By Adrian Rodriguez
Characters:
JANE
JILL
JOHN,
JACK,
DIRECOR
Scene 1
(JACK, JOHN, JANE, and JILL are sitting down in a Café. JOHN and JANE are sitting together and JACK and JILL are sitting opposite them.)
JANE
(excited) Oh my god! I can’t believe this is really happening.
JACK
(enthusiastic) Me neither. Things kept happening every time we tried to schedule this. It’s almost like the world had to stop turning for this to happen.
JOHN
(spiritless) Yeah I know. Stuff kept coming up at the last minute with work and everything. I’m sorry about that.
JANE
No need to apologize my love. (JANE leans over and squeezes JOHN’s shoulder.) I know my baby has a busy schedule to keep.
JOHN
Yeah. I know. (searches for thought) Umm Jack. You never told me how you and Jill are doing?
JACK
We’re doing amazing dude. We’ve really hit if off. We went to go see that Wonder Emporium movie last Friday. It was amazing! (JACK smiles and holds JILL’s hand.)
JOHN
What?! Why?
JACK
Well, we didn’t see the movie. We just needed someplace to be alone. (JOHN chuckles at the comment.)
JILL
(slightly nervous) I really should thank you for introducing us JOHN.
JOHN
(dully) Don’t mention it.
JANE
Hey! Remember that I am the one that thought of it, honey. It was my birthday party where they met!
JACK
That birthday party of yours Jane was amazing! (turns to JOHN.) Dude, you were hammered out of your mind! Remember when you were dancing shit faced in back yard?
JOHN
No, not really.
JACK
Of course you don’t.
JOHN
Hey, I wasn’t the only one drunk at the party.
JACK
I know. But dude, nobody did what you did. (turns to JANE and JILL.) He stepped on everyone’s toes around him. He then stepped on Matthew’s shoes and bumped into his girlfriend before Matthew pushed him onto Jessica. Then, he fell over and threw up on a girl. (JACK and JANE laugh. JILL then giggles and JOHN.)
CASHIER:
(off stage) Jack, Caramel Mocha Latte. Jill, Vanilla Bean Frappucinno.
JACK
I’ll get that baby. (JACK gets up and exits. A short pause follows)
JANE
What did I tell you, Jill? Is he a hunk or what?
JILL
(forced enthusiasm) Yeah. He’s fantastic. I guess I should thank you. I would have never met such an amazing guy without you.
CASHIER:
(off stage) John, Peppermint Frappucinno. Jane, Mocha Latte.
JOHN
(getting up) Chivalry calls me. I’ll be back.
JANE
Okay baby.
(JOHN exits and JACK reenters.)
JACK
(JACK sits beside JILL and hands her the drink.) So, what did I miss?
JANE
Oh, we were telling Jill about the dirt we have on you.
JACK
Really?
JANE
(short laugh) No. We were just taking about school.
JACK
Oh, okay.
(JOHN reenters)
JOHN
(sitting beside JANE and handing her the drink) I’m back guys.
JACK
Hey John. I wanted to ask you. How did you get home that night? I’m shocked you didn’t rip the city a new one.
JOHN
Oh that. Well, I just kinda-
JANE
-slept over. There was no way I was going to let my baby drive to his grave! I made him spend the night.
JACK
Whoa! How come you never told me? How was it dude? (raising eyebrows and bumping shoulders) Fireworks?
(JOHN turns head, dodging the question. JANE begins to blush. JILL is looking slightly uncomfortable.)
JANE
Well, I can tell you that nothing happened that night. Even if we wanted to, John was too hammered to do anything.
(Everyone except JOHN laughs at the remark)
JOHN
Well she’s right. Nothing happened.
JANE
Well, (standing up) I need to go to the bathroom.
JILL
I think I’ll join you. (stands up)
JOHN
Alright. We’ll wait for you ladies here.
JACK
Bye girls.
(JANE and JILL walk offstage)
JACK
Hey dude. I need to talk to you.
JOHN
What happened?
JACK
That’s actually what I wanted to ask you. You’re not your usual self. What happened buddy?
JOHN
What do you mean? I feel great.
JACK
Dude, seriously. I’m your best buddy. What happened?
(JOHN moves head left and right hesitantly.)
JOHN
I know. But I’m just not sure that-
JACK
Trust me dude. I won’t tell anybody.
(JOHN ponders for a moment)
JOHN
(unenthusiastic) I had sex, Jack. I did it.
JACK
(confused) But Jane said-
JOHN
It wasn’t with Jane.
(short pause)
JACK
(shocked)Well, I could see why it would be shocking. But what’s the problem dude?
JOHN
I don’t know dude. I like her. I really do, but this isn’t how things are supposed to happen. I just don’t know what to do now. In fact, the more I think about it, I’m not sure that I love her.
JACK
Love has a way of always working out. Jane is a really great girl. And if she’s still with you after you when sleeping around her-
JOHN
She doesn’t know about it.
JACK
Wow dude. My bad. You’re in deep shit!
JOHN
I know! I know! But what do I do?
JACK
You need to tell her. You can’t just go on living a lie like this.
JOHN
I know that! But I just can’t go telling her the truth. It will break her heart. She shouldn’t suffer for my mistake.
(JANE enters running towards JOHN in tears and JILL follows behind her. JOHN and JACK stand up)
JANE
John, tell me it isn’t true.
JOHN
What happened? Why are crying is everything okay?
JANE
Tell me it isn’t true!
JOHN
What isn’t true? What are you talking about?
JILL
I’m sorry, John, but I told her. I had to tell her.
JOHN
(places hand on forehead and gasps deeply).Oh. JANE I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It just happened. Could you ever forgive me?
JANE
(JANE places hands over eyes, bawling) No John. I can never forgive you.
JOHN
(approaches JANE and places hands on shoulder and back) I know that I did something wrong. (JANE shrugs away.) And I’m sorry. But could you ever forgive me?
JILL
She can’t John. It’s because I’m pregnant, John. I’m pregnant.
(JOHN is in shock, mouth gaping)
JACK
(facing JOHN) Wait, you slept with Jill? How could you man? You were my best friend? I trusted you!
JOHN
I know I’m sorry. After I threw up on her, we both had to sleep over and . . . look, we were drunk. It doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t want to upset you.
JACK
(angry) Upset me?! UPSET ME?! You stupid son-of-a-bitch! (punches JOHN left cheek, knocking him to the floor) I’ll kill you! (reaches in his pocket and pulls out a hand gun and aims it at JOHN) No regrets. (fires two rounds. JOHN falls to the floor)
(JANE and JILL screech in terror.)
JANE
Jack! What have you done!?
JACK
Erasing my mistakes. (aims gun towards JANE. Fires two rounds, JANE falls to the floor. He aims the gun at JILL)
JILL
Jack. (getting on her knees) Please don’t do this, Jack. Please! (bawling) I’m pregnant Jack. Please have mercy.
JACK
God has mercy. I don’t.
(Fires three rounds, knocking her to the floor. JACK looks at his gun then looks at the corpses.)
DIRECTOR (off stage)
And cut! (walks on stage) Great job guys. Nicely done. (JOHN, JANE and JILL arise from the floor) That’s a wrap folks. We’ll give you all a call after we’ve finished with the editing..
JOHN
(towards the DIRECTOR)This is dumb. Why do the main characters get shot halfway into the film. Wouldn’t it be more traditional to save it for the climax of the movie?
JILL
(towards DIRECTOR) Yeah. And wouldn’t it be more appealing to the audience to see that Jack and Jill end up happily together?
JACK
(towards the DIRECTOR) I’m sorry but I have a question. Why did Jack bring a gun to the coffee shop? Was he expecting to go Postal on someone? And why doesn’t anyone else in the coffee shop flee? Some wacko teenager starts popping caps in someone’s head and people around them are reading the Daily Times? Was this play well thought out?
DIRECTOR
Kind of. See, Jacob was only done halfway through the play when the writers went on strike. With his permission, we got somebody else to finish the rest of the movie.
JANE
It sounds like a shitty ending.
DIRECTOR
Well, that may be. But I think the public has been lulled into a fairytale dream land. We know that things aren’t always like that. This is life. This is real. This is what a Math major at CSUN can make in 2 days for $73.
JANE
Whatever. Just don’t place my real name on this film. (walks off stage)
JACK
Mine neither.
JILL
Me too.
JOHN
Me three.
(JACK, JOHN and JILL exit)
DIRECTOR
Fine then. (turns to audience). (yelling) Alright! Bring out the pole and the Go-Go Dancers!
(End Play)
By Adrian Rodriguez
Characters:
JANE
JILL
JOHN,
JACK,
DIRECOR
Scene 1
(JACK, JOHN, JANE, and JILL are sitting down in a Café. JOHN and JANE are sitting together and JACK and JILL are sitting opposite them.)
JANE
(excited) Oh my god! I can’t believe this is really happening.
JACK
(enthusiastic) Me neither. Things kept happening every time we tried to schedule this. It’s almost like the world had to stop turning for this to happen.
JOHN
(spiritless) Yeah I know. Stuff kept coming up at the last minute with work and everything. I’m sorry about that.
JANE
No need to apologize my love. (JANE leans over and squeezes JOHN’s shoulder.) I know my baby has a busy schedule to keep.
JOHN
Yeah. I know. (searches for thought) Umm Jack. You never told me how you and Jill are doing?
JACK
We’re doing amazing dude. We’ve really hit if off. We went to go see that Wonder Emporium movie last Friday. It was amazing! (JACK smiles and holds JILL’s hand.)
JOHN
What?! Why?
JACK
Well, we didn’t see the movie. We just needed someplace to be alone. (JOHN chuckles at the comment.)
JILL
(slightly nervous) I really should thank you for introducing us JOHN.
JOHN
(dully) Don’t mention it.
JANE
Hey! Remember that I am the one that thought of it, honey. It was my birthday party where they met!
JACK
That birthday party of yours Jane was amazing! (turns to JOHN.) Dude, you were hammered out of your mind! Remember when you were dancing shit faced in back yard?
JOHN
No, not really.
JACK
Of course you don’t.
JOHN
Hey, I wasn’t the only one drunk at the party.
JACK
I know. But dude, nobody did what you did. (turns to JANE and JILL.) He stepped on everyone’s toes around him. He then stepped on Matthew’s shoes and bumped into his girlfriend before Matthew pushed him onto Jessica. Then, he fell over and threw up on a girl. (JACK and JANE laugh. JILL then giggles and JOHN.)
CASHIER:
(off stage) Jack, Caramel Mocha Latte. Jill, Vanilla Bean Frappucinno.
JACK
I’ll get that baby. (JACK gets up and exits. A short pause follows)
JANE
What did I tell you, Jill? Is he a hunk or what?
JILL
(forced enthusiasm) Yeah. He’s fantastic. I guess I should thank you. I would have never met such an amazing guy without you.
CASHIER:
(off stage) John, Peppermint Frappucinno. Jane, Mocha Latte.
JOHN
(getting up) Chivalry calls me. I’ll be back.
JANE
Okay baby.
(JOHN exits and JACK reenters.)
JACK
(JACK sits beside JILL and hands her the drink.) So, what did I miss?
JANE
Oh, we were telling Jill about the dirt we have on you.
JACK
Really?
JANE
(short laugh) No. We were just taking about school.
JACK
Oh, okay.
(JOHN reenters)
JOHN
(sitting beside JANE and handing her the drink) I’m back guys.
JACK
Hey John. I wanted to ask you. How did you get home that night? I’m shocked you didn’t rip the city a new one.
JOHN
Oh that. Well, I just kinda-
JANE
-slept over. There was no way I was going to let my baby drive to his grave! I made him spend the night.
JACK
Whoa! How come you never told me? How was it dude? (raising eyebrows and bumping shoulders) Fireworks?
(JOHN turns head, dodging the question. JANE begins to blush. JILL is looking slightly uncomfortable.)
JANE
Well, I can tell you that nothing happened that night. Even if we wanted to, John was too hammered to do anything.
(Everyone except JOHN laughs at the remark)
JOHN
Well she’s right. Nothing happened.
JANE
Well, (standing up) I need to go to the bathroom.
JILL
I think I’ll join you. (stands up)
JOHN
Alright. We’ll wait for you ladies here.
JACK
Bye girls.
(JANE and JILL walk offstage)
JACK
Hey dude. I need to talk to you.
JOHN
What happened?
JACK
That’s actually what I wanted to ask you. You’re not your usual self. What happened buddy?
JOHN
What do you mean? I feel great.
JACK
Dude, seriously. I’m your best buddy. What happened?
(JOHN moves head left and right hesitantly.)
JOHN
I know. But I’m just not sure that-
JACK
Trust me dude. I won’t tell anybody.
(JOHN ponders for a moment)
JOHN
(unenthusiastic) I had sex, Jack. I did it.
JACK
(confused) But Jane said-
JOHN
It wasn’t with Jane.
(short pause)
JACK
(shocked)Well, I could see why it would be shocking. But what’s the problem dude?
JOHN
I don’t know dude. I like her. I really do, but this isn’t how things are supposed to happen. I just don’t know what to do now. In fact, the more I think about it, I’m not sure that I love her.
JACK
Love has a way of always working out. Jane is a really great girl. And if she’s still with you after you when sleeping around her-
JOHN
She doesn’t know about it.
JACK
Wow dude. My bad. You’re in deep shit!
JOHN
I know! I know! But what do I do?
JACK
You need to tell her. You can’t just go on living a lie like this.
JOHN
I know that! But I just can’t go telling her the truth. It will break her heart. She shouldn’t suffer for my mistake.
(JANE enters running towards JOHN in tears and JILL follows behind her. JOHN and JACK stand up)
JANE
John, tell me it isn’t true.
JOHN
What happened? Why are crying is everything okay?
JANE
Tell me it isn’t true!
JOHN
What isn’t true? What are you talking about?
JILL
I’m sorry, John, but I told her. I had to tell her.
JOHN
(places hand on forehead and gasps deeply).Oh. JANE I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It just happened. Could you ever forgive me?
JANE
(JANE places hands over eyes, bawling) No John. I can never forgive you.
JOHN
(approaches JANE and places hands on shoulder and back) I know that I did something wrong. (JANE shrugs away.) And I’m sorry. But could you ever forgive me?
JILL
She can’t John. It’s because I’m pregnant, John. I’m pregnant.
(JOHN is in shock, mouth gaping)
JACK
(facing JOHN) Wait, you slept with Jill? How could you man? You were my best friend? I trusted you!
JOHN
I know I’m sorry. After I threw up on her, we both had to sleep over and . . . look, we were drunk. It doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t want to upset you.
JACK
(angry) Upset me?! UPSET ME?! You stupid son-of-a-bitch! (punches JOHN left cheek, knocking him to the floor) I’ll kill you! (reaches in his pocket and pulls out a hand gun and aims it at JOHN) No regrets. (fires two rounds. JOHN falls to the floor)
(JANE and JILL screech in terror.)
JANE
Jack! What have you done!?
JACK
Erasing my mistakes. (aims gun towards JANE. Fires two rounds, JANE falls to the floor. He aims the gun at JILL)
JILL
Jack. (getting on her knees) Please don’t do this, Jack. Please! (bawling) I’m pregnant Jack. Please have mercy.
JACK
God has mercy. I don’t.
(Fires three rounds, knocking her to the floor. JACK looks at his gun then looks at the corpses.)
DIRECTOR (off stage)
And cut! (walks on stage) Great job guys. Nicely done. (JOHN, JANE and JILL arise from the floor) That’s a wrap folks. We’ll give you all a call after we’ve finished with the editing..
JOHN
(towards the DIRECTOR)This is dumb. Why do the main characters get shot halfway into the film. Wouldn’t it be more traditional to save it for the climax of the movie?
JILL
(towards DIRECTOR) Yeah. And wouldn’t it be more appealing to the audience to see that Jack and Jill end up happily together?
JACK
(towards the DIRECTOR) I’m sorry but I have a question. Why did Jack bring a gun to the coffee shop? Was he expecting to go Postal on someone? And why doesn’t anyone else in the coffee shop flee? Some wacko teenager starts popping caps in someone’s head and people around them are reading the Daily Times? Was this play well thought out?
DIRECTOR
Kind of. See, Jacob was only done halfway through the play when the writers went on strike. With his permission, we got somebody else to finish the rest of the movie.
JANE
It sounds like a shitty ending.
DIRECTOR
Well, that may be. But I think the public has been lulled into a fairytale dream land. We know that things aren’t always like that. This is life. This is real. This is what a Math major at CSUN can make in 2 days for $73.
JANE
Whatever. Just don’t place my real name on this film. (walks off stage)
JACK
Mine neither.
JILL
Me too.
JOHN
Me three.
(JACK, JOHN and JILL exit)
DIRECTOR
Fine then. (turns to audience). (yelling) Alright! Bring out the pole and the Go-Go Dancers!
(End Play)