(no subject)
Today was filled with kick ass randomness. Just the way I enjoy my weekend days: quirky and jam packed. The day started fabulous with my father exclaiming "hurry up, I want to go and do something before the day is over. It's already 11:00 in the morning!" Me: "dad, its 12:00" awkward pause. Dad "god damn it, motherfucker! I just lost an hour of my life! just like that! How Depressing!" Mucho love for the parental units.
We decided to go to a farm in Coventry to partake in maple sugaring. We finally get to the "sugar shack" after 5 wrong terms and we find a old wooden shanty and a old man with a hoe (the farm tool, not the woman) We ask where the maple sugar is and he starts mumbling in crazy old man talk about sap trickle and quarts of wood and "rambunctious reporter" we quickly gathered that the maple sugaring occurred the weekend before.
Not to be deterred we carry our journey onto Swansea where a flea market is to take place. After a 20 min drive we reach our destination where we find the flea market to be non existent. After a long string of expletives and a humorous conversation about slutty catholic girls we find our selves in Little Compton, which is the farthest you can go in Rhode Island. It was here where i learned that you cannot drink a extra large iced coffee without facing the consequences. I swear to Jesus my kidneys felt like they where bleeding. I learned a horrible truth. There are no bathrooms in the entire town of Little Compton. Not one. the people who live their apparently don’t eat because they certainly are producing no waste. After refusing to pee in a old tire on a fishing dock (my fathers suggestion) we found a ice cream shop that was open. I ran in begging the girl at the counter to let me use the bathroom. She looked at me with her stupid mother fucking rat face and said in the worst voice ever " the restrooms are not for the public" after a angry stare down and the use of the word douch bag I was on my way, without having relived myself. At this point my pain is blinding and my rage is not going to be contained. I stormed through a muddy field, found a bush, and finally found sweet release. However, after the god damn urine was gone from my body i turned around and realized that i wad 50 feet from a very full playground. However, i was to relived and happy at this point to care.
Having successfully completed Operation : let me pee motherfuckers! I was renewed for the adventure ahead. We found some winery in Taunton and went on a free wine tour and tasting. Pino Noir is very tasty at 4:00 on a Sunday afternoon!
When we finally came home I decided that I hadn't driven enough today so I called Jen and Sheila and we went to Charleston to visit Nick. Some how he used his male powers of persuasion to get us to do his job (damn you nick, damn you!) We learned the joys of tag team movie re-shelving followed by a satisfying lap of tandem "facing" (dirty!). Master nick allowed us each a squirt of purell, a paper towel, and a free movie before he sent us on our way. Slave labor does pay! After dropping Sheila off I concluded my day by getting me and Jen lost in the wilderness of Richmond.
After reading this entry I realize that I do far to much in one day. I should slow down, I’m gonna run out of stuff to do by the time I and 25.
I leave you with yet another quote from I Heart Huckabees, because i am a loser:
"I'm in my tree talking to the Dixie Chicks and they're making me feel better."
."
We decided to go to a farm in Coventry to partake in maple sugaring. We finally get to the "sugar shack" after 5 wrong terms and we find a old wooden shanty and a old man with a hoe (the farm tool, not the woman) We ask where the maple sugar is and he starts mumbling in crazy old man talk about sap trickle and quarts of wood and "rambunctious reporter" we quickly gathered that the maple sugaring occurred the weekend before.
Not to be deterred we carry our journey onto Swansea where a flea market is to take place. After a 20 min drive we reach our destination where we find the flea market to be non existent. After a long string of expletives and a humorous conversation about slutty catholic girls we find our selves in Little Compton, which is the farthest you can go in Rhode Island. It was here where i learned that you cannot drink a extra large iced coffee without facing the consequences. I swear to Jesus my kidneys felt like they where bleeding. I learned a horrible truth. There are no bathrooms in the entire town of Little Compton. Not one. the people who live their apparently don’t eat because they certainly are producing no waste. After refusing to pee in a old tire on a fishing dock (my fathers suggestion) we found a ice cream shop that was open. I ran in begging the girl at the counter to let me use the bathroom. She looked at me with her stupid mother fucking rat face and said in the worst voice ever " the restrooms are not for the public" after a angry stare down and the use of the word douch bag I was on my way, without having relived myself. At this point my pain is blinding and my rage is not going to be contained. I stormed through a muddy field, found a bush, and finally found sweet release. However, after the god damn urine was gone from my body i turned around and realized that i wad 50 feet from a very full playground. However, i was to relived and happy at this point to care.
Having successfully completed Operation : let me pee motherfuckers! I was renewed for the adventure ahead. We found some winery in Taunton and went on a free wine tour and tasting. Pino Noir is very tasty at 4:00 on a Sunday afternoon!
When we finally came home I decided that I hadn't driven enough today so I called Jen and Sheila and we went to Charleston to visit Nick. Some how he used his male powers of persuasion to get us to do his job (damn you nick, damn you!) We learned the joys of tag team movie re-shelving followed by a satisfying lap of tandem "facing" (dirty!). Master nick allowed us each a squirt of purell, a paper towel, and a free movie before he sent us on our way. Slave labor does pay! After dropping Sheila off I concluded my day by getting me and Jen lost in the wilderness of Richmond.
After reading this entry I realize that I do far to much in one day. I should slow down, I’m gonna run out of stuff to do by the time I and 25.
I leave you with yet another quote from I Heart Huckabees, because i am a loser:
"I'm in my tree talking to the Dixie Chicks and they're making me feel better."
."