i can see the stars, cause im stronger than you think
life has been really horrible for the last 5 months, so horrible that everything seems to be funny anymore... it doesnt make sense to me anymore. what is life, who are these ppl around me... what is the reason im here, i feel like god is pointing at me and laughing.. what did i do. these are question that ive asked myself and the only thing that makes sense is when i look at justin and nick... these are the truths in my life, yeah theres bump and up and downs, but when i have them near me they make my life so much easier to deal with. nick has kept me together, so much more than id ever imagine. justin keeps me laughing and smiling and getting up in the morning to move on with my everdays.
ive done alot of thinking, and alot has gone on, and while talking to a friend of a friend the other nite she made so much sense and what she said is what really should be life... its amazing how ppl you would have never thought would give you an open outlook on things, make it more positive just the way it should be...
so in my thoughts i figured i should only live as i feel fit, that things around me are going to be negative and that when it starts dont allow it.. no more negative ppl around me, theyre not my judge and it doesnt matter what they think and how they live, its not my life its theirs.. and if theyre happy with their own life so be it, why should i change my life to please them.. who are they anyway, friends, family yes they are, but theyre not misti and they dont make my decisions for me, and they arent interested in my happiness, just the fact that im living the way they want me to.. well guess what, jokes on you from this day forward... im almost 30 years old and i dont need it, i shouldnt have to put up with it. im tired of being everyones what not to do, im not a bad person, i have a big heart and when things dont work, fine its my dealings not yours.. it never has been so why do you care so much.. im the one who has to live with my choices. it angers me that the one person i have in my life, the one person that i know deep down i will spend the rest of my life with, everyone now has an issue with, to bad, ppl go thru bad times and things will be taken care of. hes apart of my life whether ANYONE likes it or not, again its not their life, be happy with what you have and mind your own life. talk with your friends and family about something else other than mine, its not that important, im sure somewhere in your busy life you can find something else to talk about.. im not an pbject of conversation, im a person, i have feelings and i deserve a lil more respect than what im getting. ive had enough of everything and ppl trying to push their rules of life into mine.. i dont need it , i dont want it.. take it and fly away with it..
so the end of this note... i appreciate everything everyone has ever done for me.. more than youll ever know, more than what this note may read.. but when do i get to say enough, when do i get to say whatever.. when do i get to sit back and relax... right now its my turn. if you feel the need to express your life and feelings fine, do so. ill listen, but im not living like that, so dont tell me this is what i need to do, what you think i should do, you feel i should do. cause im not listening anymore.. i have my own feelings in the way i want to live my life, regardless of what you think, feel. if you begin to be disrespectful to me and my feelings, i will walk away, i will hang up and you can be angry, thats okay, cause youre the one who will be wasting your energy, not me.
ive done alot of thinking, and alot has gone on, and while talking to a friend of a friend the other nite she made so much sense and what she said is what really should be life... its amazing how ppl you would have never thought would give you an open outlook on things, make it more positive just the way it should be...
so in my thoughts i figured i should only live as i feel fit, that things around me are going to be negative and that when it starts dont allow it.. no more negative ppl around me, theyre not my judge and it doesnt matter what they think and how they live, its not my life its theirs.. and if theyre happy with their own life so be it, why should i change my life to please them.. who are they anyway, friends, family yes they are, but theyre not misti and they dont make my decisions for me, and they arent interested in my happiness, just the fact that im living the way they want me to.. well guess what, jokes on you from this day forward... im almost 30 years old and i dont need it, i shouldnt have to put up with it. im tired of being everyones what not to do, im not a bad person, i have a big heart and when things dont work, fine its my dealings not yours.. it never has been so why do you care so much.. im the one who has to live with my choices. it angers me that the one person i have in my life, the one person that i know deep down i will spend the rest of my life with, everyone now has an issue with, to bad, ppl go thru bad times and things will be taken care of. hes apart of my life whether ANYONE likes it or not, again its not their life, be happy with what you have and mind your own life. talk with your friends and family about something else other than mine, its not that important, im sure somewhere in your busy life you can find something else to talk about.. im not an pbject of conversation, im a person, i have feelings and i deserve a lil more respect than what im getting. ive had enough of everything and ppl trying to push their rules of life into mine.. i dont need it , i dont want it.. take it and fly away with it..
so the end of this note... i appreciate everything everyone has ever done for me.. more than youll ever know, more than what this note may read.. but when do i get to say enough, when do i get to say whatever.. when do i get to sit back and relax... right now its my turn. if you feel the need to express your life and feelings fine, do so. ill listen, but im not living like that, so dont tell me this is what i need to do, what you think i should do, you feel i should do. cause im not listening anymore.. i have my own feelings in the way i want to live my life, regardless of what you think, feel. if you begin to be disrespectful to me and my feelings, i will walk away, i will hang up and you can be angry, thats okay, cause youre the one who will be wasting your energy, not me.