SPLSHIMS Chapter 3: Unrealistic Shopping
Bold type is Japanese being spoken around English-speaking people.
Chapter 3
“I feel somewhat better now,” Shinichi sighed, hanging up the phone. He turned back to the others, only to find them staring at him in ill-disguised amazement and a little fear. “What?” he asked, a little confused.
*Flashback*
“Tou-san, have you ever heard of ‘Hogwarts’?” Shinichi asked, voice oddly devoid of emotion.
“Uh, why?” Yuusaku asked, his tone slightly meek.
“Oh, no reason. Just that an owl delivered Hattori, Hakuba, Kaito and I a letter asking us to participate in a foreign exchange program at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Only thing is, none of us know magic, aside from Kaito, and his is sleight of hand. And, oh, yes, did I mention that Hakuba’s cousin, Draco, is also apparently a wizard?” Yuusaku could practically feel the glare his son was most likely giving the phone at the moment. “So, tou-san, what do you know about this?”
Yuusaku sighed. Well, he should’ve known this was going to happen someday. “Shinichi, yes, I did go to Hogwarts. You never displayed magical talents as a child, though, besides attracting nearly every dead body by lieu of murders for miles, but I thought that that was just me.”
“Wait, wait, you have a talent for attracting dead bodies?!”
“It’s complicated. But as for whether you got a letter or not… Well, we were traveling around the world when you were eleven,” Yuusaku mused.
“Tou-san,” Shinichi growled, his ire rising.
*End Flashback*
“That was quite an interesting conversation,” Draco remarked, deadpan. “I couldn’t understand one word of it, but from the way you were ranting, and the near-deaf state my ears are in, I would guess you were pretty angry.”
“Ah, yes, well…” Shinichi rubbed the back of his head rather sheepishly. “Apparently my father never saw fit to inform me of the possibility I might have magic because it slipped his mind.” He laughed softly, but rather evilly.
“Kudo, yer freakin‘ me out here,” Heiji laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder nervously.
“Hmm? Sorry Hattori, just a little… annoyed, is all,” the Meitantei of the East waved his hand around minutely. “On a second note, he said that I could use money from his Gringotts account, whatever that is.”
“Well, that certainly clears up the issue of how to pay for you guys’ school supplies, since I really didn’t want to have to explain to my father why I spent more than a small fortune on school supplies,” Malfoy shook his head.
“You’re done ranting then?” Saguru raised an eyebrow in Shinichi’s direction.
“I believe he is,” Kaito told him cheerfully, wrapping an arm around Shinichi’s shoulder.
“Well, since I don’t carry Floo powder with me for ‘just-in-case’ situations, we’re going to have to enter Diagon Alley manually,” Draco said, stowing his wand away.
“Ya mean there’s a way ta enter it unmanually?” Heiji asked in disbelief.
“Is that even a word?” Saguru asked. Heiji replied by manfully sticking his tongue out at him.
“Yes, there is, but as I said, I don’t carry Floo powder around with me. Hell, I don’t even carry it around on a normal basis,” Malfoy said. “Oh,” he added as an afterthought, “while we’re there, it’s best if you don’t say you’re my cousin, Saguru.”
Said person in question raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Well, Dad doesn’t exactly know Mum has a sister who married a Muggle,” the Slytherin explained rather sheepishly, “and our family is supposed to be pureblood, so just for the sake of appearances, really.”
“I don’t get why ‘Muggles’ are so bad,” Shinichi frowned. “I mean, magical people had to have come from somewhere, just the same as regular humans, so I don’t get what all the fuss is about.”
“Politics,” Draco explained wearily. “Now, c’mon, if we don’t want to spend the rest of the afternoon discussing-” he shuddered “-politics, we should probably get going.”
* * *
“Kaito, would you get off!” Shinichi spluttered, trying to dislodge the other teen from his perch on Shinichi’s back, hands clutching onto his shoulders.
“But Shin-chan, I have to protect you, just in case the evil train decides to follow us!” Kaito whined.
“Kaito, it was a cart, on tracks, and we are currently out of that bank with the carts and the goblins, so would you kindly get the hell off of me!” the Meitantei of the East snapped. Pouting, Kaito reluctantly did so.
Saguru and Heiji, who understood the conversation that was going on, sighed, shaking their heads. They honestly had no idea why the magician seemed to have the idea set firmly in his head that trains were evil and trying to take over the world, but, hey, this was the guy who dived off buildings for fun and was an international criminal (though he’d never admit either of those things).
Malfoy, not being able to understand Japanese, did his best to ignore the two, while the rather subdued crowd in Diagon Alley looked strangely at the group of teens from time to time, especially since most of them did not know what language the boys were arguing in. There was also the fact said boys were accompanied by Draco Malfoy, son of the arrogant prick and snob Lucius Malfoy, suspected Death Eater.
“All right, if you guys would kindly try not to draw attention to us, we should probably get your wands first,” the blonde Slytherin muttered. “Ollivanders is closed, though, so we’ll have to go somewhere else… Luckily, I know a place.” Huh, guess it does help that Dad’s a Death Eater sometimes, he mused.
“So, Malfoy, where exactly are we goin’, again?” Heiji asked in an undertone as they made their way rather briskly through the crowd.
“Starfire’s,” Draco replied equally as quietly. “It’s not exactly of a well-known nature, but from what I’ve heard, Selina is quite skilled at finding the wizard or witch in question a wand that suits them.”
The Slytherin waited a moment at the head of Knockturn Alley before ducking down it and pulling the others after him when (relatively) no one was looking.
The shop was crowded, shelves with boxes scattered all around, making it hard to move freely.
“How does she conduct business in a place so messy?” Saguru frowned, looking around.
“‘She’ is right here,” said a young feminine voice. The five boys started slightly, except for Kaito, who, eyes wide, immediately hid behind Shinichi.
“You!” the magician practically squeaked, glaring slightly.
“You look familiar.” The short woman with dark blonde hair in a ponytail frowned, her gray eyes narrowing. After a moment they widened in recognition. “Oh, you’re Toichi Kuroba’s boy, aren’t you? I trust you haven’t been playing with the fish much?” she smirked.
“You threatened to feed me to a shark!” he retorted. At her glare, Kaito meeped, ducking behind Shinichi again.
Sighing irately, Selina sidestepped around Shinichi- “Excuse me a moment, would you?” -and grabbed Kaito, then dragged the unfortunate young man over to one of the many shelves. Opening a box, she pulled out a wand and shoved it at Kaito.
“Wave it with your dominant hand,” Selina ordered. Doing so, Kaito gave it a little swish. Immediately, the room was filled with black smoke. “That’s.. not the… one!” Selina coughed, drawing out her own wand and muttering something to clear the air, much to the relief of the coughing quintet.
Two more failures and clouds of green and yellow smoke later, Kaito gave a swish to a pale wand, and a cloud of pink smoke erupted from it, forming the shape of a dove. Selina snorted. “I should’ve known. Birch wood, Leprechaun hair core, 10 and 1/3 inches long. Hopefully your wand will bring you more luck than your father.” The magician stiffened a little at the mention of his father, but nodded. Turning to Shinichi, he grinned.
“You should go now, Shin-chan!” Kaito chirped, throwing an arm around the other’s shoulder.
Rolling his eyes, Shinichi gave a sigh. “Fine, fine,” he said, taking a step forward.
Selina stalked round the brunette, looking him over. “Hmm, interesting, very interesting indeed,” she mused.
“Not to complain, but you’re circling around me like a vulture,” Shinichi commented, growing a little nervous under the woman’s speculative gaze.
“I remember talking with Ollivander about your father’s wand,” Selina said suddenly. She shook her head wearily. “Man, that guy sure had a talent for attracting dead people.”
“Ya didn’t just inherit yer tou-san’s looks, ne, Kudo?” Heiji elbowed his friend, grinning.
“Shut up, Hattori,” Shinichi scowled, elbowing him back. “I want to get this over with so I can call the person in question and demand an explanation after chewing him out some more.”
“A little spiteful, perhaps?” Draco raised an eyebrow. Shinichi shrugged.
“Hold these, will you?” Selina shoved a pile of boxes into Shinichi’s arms suddenly. He staggered under the weight of them.
“Kami, what’s in here?” the detective sputtered.
“Wands, materials for making wands, dismembered limbs of people who annoy me.” The woman sent a pointed glare towards Shinichi at the last part. “Here, wave this.” She shoved a wand into Shinichi’s hand, and he tried the best he could to wave it without dropping the boxes. After seven failures, a light brown wand formed a little cloud that shifted into a skull, which cackled maniacally before poofing out of existence. Selina seemed to approve. “Hmm, 12 ¼ inches Oak, with a Thestral hair core. Good for practicing necromancy and Dark Arts.”
“…”
“Well, that was certainly appropri-”
“Anyone says another word about death, and I will kick a soccer ball right at their groin and/or face! Do I make myself clear??”
All was quiet for a moment before Selina chose her next vic- er, that is, customer. “All right, you!” The short woman pointed a finger at Saguru. “Yes, you, boy, get over here!” she ordered. “I won’t bite you unless you vex me.”
“I really don’t see why this all is necessary,” the blonde said, arms crossed.
“A logical one, eh? You’re probably a Ravenclaw,” Selina looked over Hakuba, sizing him up.
“I’m a detective, it’s my job to be logical,” Hakuba replied, not backing down from her assessing stare.
She smirked. “You’ve got guts kid; I like that.” She flicked her wand and a box from high up on one of the shelves floated down. “Try this one.” Picking the wand out of the box, Saguru gave it a nonchalant wave.
Immediately, it glowed a soft silver color. “Huh,” Selina mused. “10 ½ inch Ash, with a Veela hair core. Good for verbal spells, Mr. Detective.” She smirked while the others laughed.
“Well, she’s got ya pegged to a tee there, Hakuba,” Heiji snickered at the British detective, who glared at the Osakan.
“If you find this so amusing, Hattori, how about you go next?” Saguru challenged, smirking as Heiji’s expression fell to one of mild distrust.
“Fine, fine,” Heiji grumbled, shuffling over to Selina.
She tilted her head to the side. “Interesting. You have a protection charm?” The young woman jabbed a finger at Hattori’s chest.
He blinked in surprise, looking down before answering, “Yeah, omamori. Why, that important or somethin’?”
Selina didn’t reply, merely cackled evilly. “Be afraid, be very, very afraid,” she muttered, a gleam in her eyes.
The boys all sweat dropped, aside from Heiji, who looked as though running away while screaming like a little girl right now might be a good idea.
“Well, Saguru, I trust you can keep him-” Draco gestured to Hattori- “out of trouble?” he inquired. “I would stay, but it’ll go faster if we split up.” The Slytherin turned to Shinichi. “Since you’ve got the money for all of you guys’ school supplies, mind coming with me?”
“If Shin-chan’s going, then I’m coming with, too!” Kaito piped up, his features set in a mulish expression.
“All right, then, c’mon, Kaito!” Shinichi grabbed the magician by the arm, dragging him after the detective and Malfoy.
As the door closed, Heiji and Saguru’s attention turned back to the task at hand - getting the Osakan a wand. Selina grinned at them. “Now, then, let’s get back to what we were doing, shall we?”
Shinichi and Kaito had meant to go with Draco to get the books, but Kaito had gotten distracted in the pet shop, so, with a foreboding feeling that he was going to regret this, the blonde Slytherin had left them in the store, then hurried to get their books as fast as he could.
"Shin-chan, are you going to get a pet?" Kaito whispered right next to Shinichi's ear.
"Gah!" The Meitantei of the East whirled around. "Kaito, don't sneak up on me like that!" he scowled.
"Fine, fine," the magician pouted. "Just to let you know, I'm getting an owl."
"Really?" Shinichi asked, slightly interested. "What kind?"
"Well, I actually don't know what kind he is," Kaito admitted rather sheepishly, holding up a medium-sized cage with a rather mottled-brown owl in it. Shinichi stifled a laugh, making Kaito frown. "What's so funny about it?"
"Oh, uh, nothing, nothing!" Shinichi spluttered. "So, er, what are you going to name him?"
"Lupin!" the other replied brightly, prompting a further chuckle from Shinichi. "Are you going to get a pet?" Kaito asked as they went to go pay for the owl.
The brunette shook his head. "No, I don't really like small animals that much."
"But you put up with my doves!" protested Kaito as they exited the pet store.
"Exactly. 'Put up with' them. I wouldn't actually take care of one of my own free will."
Pout. "You're no fun, Shin-chan."
"Oh, so you finally noticed?" Shinichi deadpanned as they stood outside, looking for any sign of Hakuba's cousin. Just then, the hairs on the back of the detective's neck prickled, telling him he was being watched. Rather sneakily, Shinichi surveyed his surroundings out of his peripherals. The feeling intensified as his gaze fell on a dark alley nearby, so, forgoing common sense for the moment, Shinichi grabbed Kaito and dragged his boyfriend after him.
"Wahh?!" Kaito's arms windmilled as he was suddenly grabbed and pulled after Shinichi down a dark alleyway. Okay, Shin-chan, just exactly what is going on?? You're not so stupid as to go down a dark alley! As they continued on, Kaito amended that previous thought. Okaaay, apparently Shin-chan is stupid enough to go down a dark alley!
Shinichi stopped as he found the source of the look. It was a large black dog, gazing at him curiously.
"Uh, Shin-chan, I don't think that's such a good idea," Kaito cautioned as Shinichi went towards the dog. "Those are some pretty sharp fangs..." He stopped in disbelief as Shinichi patted the dog's head, and even more incredibly, the dog's tail wagged a little.
"Can I keep him?" Shinichi asked, turning to Kaito with a smile.
Kaito facevaulted. "Wha?? B-but, Shinichi, it's big, and scary, and-"
Shinichi looked at him with puppy (no pun intended) eyes. "Pleeeaase?"
Kaito melted under those baby blues, coupled with the smile given to him. "A-all right," he replied weakly, grinning a little like a loon.
The dog's gaze swept over Kaito, as if surveying him. After a moment, it gave a little nod, as if satisfied by its master's choice in a mate. Kaito suddenly felt very sorry for anyone who messed with Shinichi in the near or far future...
"What are you going to name him?" the magician asked, trailing after Shinichi and the dog.
Shinichi stopped and stared at the dog. After a moment, he nodded, then turned to Kaito. "Inu," he told him.
Kaito sweat dropped.
Mwa ha ha! And that is the end of Chapter 3! Cookies to Teah no Kitsune for Shinichi's pet. Following info on the 'dog', Heiji's wand, and other stuff will come next chapter. Selina, someone I just randomly made up, may or may not make another appearance. I like her, though. She's funny ;D
Don't forget, SG-chan appreciates feedback/C.C!