Three Kinds of Men by Sholio aka Friendshipper (PG-13)
Rec Category: John Sheppard
Pairing: None
Category: John Sheppard, Gen, Team, Angst, Episode related
Warning: Mention of combat experiences
Author on LJ: http://friendshipper.livejournal.com/
Author's Website: http://friendshipper.laylalawlor.com/ or http://www.fanfiction.net/u/29228/Sholio
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291341/1/Three_Kinds_of_Men or http://friendshipper.laylalawlor.com/threekinds.shtml
Why This Must Be Read: This is a wonderful episode tag for "Irresponsible," dealing with the emotional fallout of killing another human being, no matter how justified the reason to do so or how many times Sheppard may have done it before. This author excels at writing all the subtleties of friendship and showing the comfort John finds in his team and this story is no exception. It's very powerful and wise for such a short piece.
A snippet....
When Sheppard killed a man for the first time, his platoon sergeant found him heaving up his guts in the bathroom two days later and gave him a piece of advice. "Sheppard, there are two kinds of men in combat," he'd said. "There are the ones who fall apart right then, and the ones who fall apart later. And the less you feel it then, the more you'll feel it later."
Over the intervening years, Sheppard had learned a few more things. For one thing, he'd learned that there is also a third kind -- the ones who don't fall apart at all. Those men scared the hell out of him, because every single one he'd known had been batshit crazy; they'd been the ones who would order men to their deaths without a second thought, or stand and watch poor village girls trapped in a burning building without lifting a finger to help because they hadn't been given the order, or just snap and start mowing down civilians, watching it all with eyes as cold as the grave.
Kolya had been that kind of man.
He'd also learned that the sergeant had been wrong about one thing, or maybe was just a few steps farther down a road that Sheppard didn't want to set foot on. It wasn't necessarily what you felt at the time; it was how hard you bit back on it. Because you could feel one hell of a lot and still function. And if you tried hard enough to act normal, after a while, you started believing it. But it wasn't true. And the more you tried to make it true, the harder it was to deal with it later.
Pairing: None
Category: John Sheppard, Gen, Team, Angst, Episode related
Warning: Mention of combat experiences
Author on LJ: http://friendshipper.livejournal.com/
Author's Website: http://friendshipper.laylalawlor.com/ or http://www.fanfiction.net/u/29228/Sholio
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3291341/1/Three_Kinds_of_Men or http://friendshipper.laylalawlor.com/threekinds.shtml
Why This Must Be Read: This is a wonderful episode tag for "Irresponsible," dealing with the emotional fallout of killing another human being, no matter how justified the reason to do so or how many times Sheppard may have done it before. This author excels at writing all the subtleties of friendship and showing the comfort John finds in his team and this story is no exception. It's very powerful and wise for such a short piece.
A snippet....
When Sheppard killed a man for the first time, his platoon sergeant found him heaving up his guts in the bathroom two days later and gave him a piece of advice. "Sheppard, there are two kinds of men in combat," he'd said. "There are the ones who fall apart right then, and the ones who fall apart later. And the less you feel it then, the more you'll feel it later."
Over the intervening years, Sheppard had learned a few more things. For one thing, he'd learned that there is also a third kind -- the ones who don't fall apart at all. Those men scared the hell out of him, because every single one he'd known had been batshit crazy; they'd been the ones who would order men to their deaths without a second thought, or stand and watch poor village girls trapped in a burning building without lifting a finger to help because they hadn't been given the order, or just snap and start mowing down civilians, watching it all with eyes as cold as the grave.
Kolya had been that kind of man.
He'd also learned that the sergeant had been wrong about one thing, or maybe was just a few steps farther down a road that Sheppard didn't want to set foot on. It wasn't necessarily what you felt at the time; it was how hard you bit back on it. Because you could feel one hell of a lot and still function. And if you tried hard enough to act normal, after a while, you started believing it. But it wasn't true. And the more you tried to make it true, the harder it was to deal with it later.