N is for Naquadah, by Annienau (PG)
Rec Category: Episode related
Pairing: none
Categories: episode related, Teal'c, gen, character study, angst, Ry'ac
Warnings: none
Author on LJ: annienau08
Author's Website: unknown
Link: N is for Naquadah
Why This Must Be Read: Annienau gives us marvelous, poignant insight into early S1 Teal'c, as he grapples with loss of culture, loss of faith, loss of identity, and even loss of self. Here is the reason he so desperately tries to stop Ry'ac from taking a symbiote in Bloodlines, and why he made the wrenching decision to leave him behind. It's written with beautifully aching depth, and it's a fitting tribute to our favorite Jaffa and the sacrifices he made... for the Tau'ri, for his people, and for himself.
But for all of the wonders he sees and all he learns during his first days on Earth, there is still an emptiness inside him, a subtle but unrelenting lacking that creeps up on him in the silent moments. An emptiness that does not stem from a single cause but is comprised of numerous elements woven together - elements that he slowly begins to isolate and identify in those moments when he is not learning or teaching, not fighting or exploring.
Some of these missing elements are easily recognizable; the lack of his freedom, his family, his people (his god the voice of the past whispers to him, but it grows weaker with each day, with each victory, with each moment of hope). These losses are understandable, and the pain from them sometimes threatens to drown him in guilt and grief.
But there is one element he cannot seem to identify. One that has him seeking out Captain Carter in the control room late at night to watch silently as she works on the Stargate (Chappa’ai the voice insists, but its scornful hiss is lost under his teammate’s enthusiastic ramblings about energy outputs and gate addresses). One that causes him to constantly double-check the location of his teammates in the field, an unfamiliar need he attributes to his uncertainties about their abilities and their inexperience working as a team. One that haunts him even when he has managed to temporarily silence all the rest.
Pairing: none
Categories: episode related, Teal'c, gen, character study, angst, Ry'ac
Warnings: none
Author on LJ: annienau08
Author's Website: unknown
Link: N is for Naquadah
Why This Must Be Read: Annienau gives us marvelous, poignant insight into early S1 Teal'c, as he grapples with loss of culture, loss of faith, loss of identity, and even loss of self. Here is the reason he so desperately tries to stop Ry'ac from taking a symbiote in Bloodlines, and why he made the wrenching decision to leave him behind. It's written with beautifully aching depth, and it's a fitting tribute to our favorite Jaffa and the sacrifices he made... for the Tau'ri, for his people, and for himself.
But for all of the wonders he sees and all he learns during his first days on Earth, there is still an emptiness inside him, a subtle but unrelenting lacking that creeps up on him in the silent moments. An emptiness that does not stem from a single cause but is comprised of numerous elements woven together - elements that he slowly begins to isolate and identify in those moments when he is not learning or teaching, not fighting or exploring.
Some of these missing elements are easily recognizable; the lack of his freedom, his family, his people (his god the voice of the past whispers to him, but it grows weaker with each day, with each victory, with each moment of hope). These losses are understandable, and the pain from them sometimes threatens to drown him in guilt and grief.
But there is one element he cannot seem to identify. One that has him seeking out Captain Carter in the control room late at night to watch silently as she works on the Stargate (Chappa’ai the voice insists, but its scornful hiss is lost under his teammate’s enthusiastic ramblings about energy outputs and gate addresses). One that causes him to constantly double-check the location of his teammates in the field, an unfamiliar need he attributes to his uncertainties about their abilities and their inexperience working as a team. One that haunts him even when he has managed to temporarily silence all the rest.