DOMN8R (Part 6)
Matt immediately let go of Dom’s hair and stepped forward, out of his reach, and kept walking. He left Dom on the dance floor.
Matt headed for perhaps the most obvious place to hide in a nightclub, the bathroom. He fairly ran to it, pushing through the heaving bodies on the dance floor, purposefully avoiding Grace and David. If Grace saw him like this she would likely follow him into the bathroom and then the evening would get even more ridiculous, in his opinion, than it already had been.
He thought he had been doing ok. They had been getting on perfectly well, through dinner. The conversation had become easy and natural. Grace had relaxed around Dom and so had he. Buoyed by a bit of wine, he had even managed to show some affection towards him, which was so very easy to do. Dominic was intelligent, beautiful, gentle, kind, sexy…
Those last thoughts spun through his mind as he pushed through the doors into the men’s toilet. It made him feel sick again, so much so he ran to a stall and effectively emptied the contents of his stomach. Still kneeling in front of the toilet bowl his body started shaking, tears and snot streaming down his face. He gave in to the panic and anxiety and started sobbing as quietly as he could. Before he rolled back on the balls of his feet to a sitting position on the floor, he closed the door, flicking the lock. He sat on the filthy bathroom floor, up against the wall of the cubicle.
Knees drawn up toward his face, he attempted to become invisible, ignoring the shuffling feet that went past the door. Slowly, the sobs became less intense and more of a sniffle, his thoughts becoming less full of self-hate and doubt, rather a resignation that his life sucked and he didn’t deserve to be happy and clearly couldn’t be if he freaked out like this on a regular basis.
Looking up from his position on the floor, he realised how intensely stupid this all was and hated himself anew for reacting as he had done. Sighing heavily he pushed himself up off the floor, grimacing at his hands that felt soiled, even though not visibly so. Before unlocking the door, he spat the acrid remnants in his mouth into the toilet bowl, grabbed a handful of toilet paper and wiped his face. Flushing it all away, he straightened and exited the stall, head down in case there was anyone at the hand basins or urinals. Matt definitely didn’t want to have to explain his bloodshot eyes and clammy skin to anyone, particularly not one of his graduates. Eyes looking under his brow, he headed straight to the hand basin and began to divest himself of what filth he could, rinsing his face and mouth repeatedly once his hands were clean. So intent was he on his ablutions that he only barely registered the dull sound of the club enter through the bathroom door.
“A bit clichéd, this whole gay men in the bathroom thing we seem to have going, don’t you think?”
Matt snapped his head up from the sink and saw Dominic standing a distance behind him, reflected by the overly ornate mirror. Matt frowned and closed his eyes to the image, ducking his head down again for another rinse, washing the sweat from the back of his neck. He opened his eyes again, watching the water disappear down the drain. Before he could turn the tap off, paper towel appeared to his left.
“Here.”
Fixing the tap and straightening up, Matt kept his head low and took the proffered items. He proceeded to dry his skin, covering his face, desperately hoping Dominic would have left by time he had finished. Of course, he hadn’t.
“Thank you,” Matt said quietly, balling up the paper and putting it in the rubbish bin next to them. They both stood silent. Matt knew Dominic was looking at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes.
“Matt?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Pardon?”
“I’m sorry, Dom.” This time Matt looked up, hating the fact that he knew his eyes were visibly welling up again. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, shaking his head.
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t be sorry for how you feel. It’s honest and real and raw. It’s you and I want you. ”
“Yes, it’s fucking raw, Dom. I’m broken. And how about you, being honest? Because you and I could hardly be real!” Matt stepped into Dominic’s space, his anxiety switching to anger.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Dominic challenged him, staring directly into his eyes, voice even.
“Look, don’t play games with me.”
Dominic moved forwards, only a breath between them, grey eyes fixed on blue, his voice dropping to a rumble.
“The only games I want to play with you are consensual and pleasurable.” He ran a hand up Matt’s side, to cup his face, his other hand firmly sitting on an angular hip. Matt huffed in response.
“I like you Matt. I like you a lot and I want to know you better. I get that you think you are broken, I don’t know why or how, but I can guess.” He paused, eyeing him seriously. “I won’t be fixing you, because that is something you have to do yourself but, I will be there to help you, if you want me to be.” Dominic brought his lips to Matt’s cheek, whispering.
“But you have to be honest with yourself about how you feel,” he kissed his cheek, “what you want,” brushing his nose along the alabaster neck, “and how you choose to live your life.” This brought Dominic’s lips to the corner of Matt’s mouth, where they brushed lightly as he spoke again. “You are so much stronger than you think, braver than you believe. You hate being thought of as weak.” Dominic pulled back slightly. He had Matt’s attention with his body now leaning into him, eyes having become soft. It felt so good to hold him.
“I know that you are strong, and no one I have met that knows you would disagree with that. You are admired, respected and,” Dom leant in closer again, “desired.” He gently placed his lips against Matthew’s. He didn’t demand entry, merely contact with the man he was so fascinated with. Matt needed to take charge here, but also to know it was safe to do so.
Whatever Matt had been thinking of Dominic and himself, he didn’t particularly care right at that moment. He took over and held Dom hard against him. He let Dominic kiss him, tentatively responding, parting his lips against the plump flesh, darting the tip of his tongue against them.
Dominic trembled slightly, partly from frustration but also from knowing that Matt may actually have listened a bit. He let himself be guided by Matt’s mouth, responding in a slow kiss that spoke of need and hope.
Still holding Dominic firmly, Matt gently pulled away to rest their foreheads together. “Can you be patient, Dom?”
“Yes, I can. But I still may try to climb you like a tree,” he chuckled, causing a fit of giggles from Matt.
“Well, even though I may have bolted on you last week, I really did like what we did, while we were doing it.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I did. But that may need a little patience too.”
“Whatever you need. Perhaps we could take little steps?”
“Such as?”
“Well,” Dominic started, looking at the ceiling in thought, swinging in Matt’s arms, causing an amused giggle. “How about we start by…”
“Oh thank god, Matt!” David burst into the bathroom. “Woah, sorry!” David put his hands up to the two men in supplication.
Matt snorted, amused. “What’s up?”
“Well, Grace is about to come storming in here if you don’t, and I quote, ‘get that skinny arse out here and tell me what the fuck is going on. And bring Blondie with you’, end quote. She always like that?”
“Only when her ‘Mama Bear’ button gets pressed apparently,” Dom responded, not relinquishing his hold on Matt.
“Right.” He looked perturbed.
“David, she goes ‘Mama Bear’ for anyone she feels remotely responsible for. Even if you and she don’t, you know, you are still on her team and she would fight her hardest for you if you needed it.” Matt said reassuringly. “But if you do, you know, you better be a gentleman or you will get ‘Papa Bear’ on your back.” Matt eyed him down with a frosty glare.
David coughed, “Got it. Mama Bear and Papa Bear. What does that make us, Dom?”
“Horny.”