Cracktastic!
A crack!shipping meme snagged from Fialleril. Ten characters, eighteen questions and megatons of insanity are under the cut.
1. Yan Dooku
2. Qui-Gon Jinn
3. John Sheppard
4. Ronon Dex
5. Rodney McKay
6. Teyla Emmagan
7. Samantha Carter
8. Jocasta Nu
9. Tony Stark
10. Pepper Potts
1. Describe the children of #3 and #7? Are they good parents?
Oh my gosh, John and Sam’s kids would be, um, a pack of little Mary Sues and Gary Stus because of the levels of pure genetic awesome they received from their parents. They’d probably be stunningly cute airplane-obsessed geniuses with really odd hair. Yeah, John and Sam would make great parents.
2. Describe #5 and #1's first kiss.
*laughs* Wow. Okay. Awkward. It would have to be under the influence of drugs or something - perhaps a mission gone awry - because that is a pairing that makes my brain hurt. Let’s see - Rodney would probably initiate said kiss, Dooku wouldn’t know what hit him, and both would be utterly horrified when they came to their senses. :P
3. How would #2 react to if #6 is pregnant with #10's baby?
Qui-Gon would be slightly baffled by the situation (Teyla pregnant with Pepper’s baby?) but he’d be congratulatory and very kind.
4. How does #8 convince #7 to go with him/her on a date?
Heehee, Jocasta would just offer to give Sam a tour of the Archives. I doubt Sam would pass that up, though she’d probably be pressured to go on Daniel’s behalf, too - (“We’re talking about a library stocked with terabytes of information about another galaxy, Carter. You can’t just pass that up!”)
5. Where would #9 and #6 go for their honeymoon? How is #4 going to sabotage their honeymoon?
Tony, being obscenely rich, would probably take Teyla to some private tropical island. That he totally owns. Ronon, being very protective of his teammate Teyla and disapproving strongly of Mr. Stark, would really, really want to just show up and lurk ominously and give Tony his death glare. That’d be enough. Shep would be forced to order him to stand down, ‘cuz he’d totally go through with it.
6. #6 is in love with #1. #3 confesses his/her love to #6. Whom would #6 pick? Does #8 think s/he made the right choice?
Whoo, I can has convoluted answers! Teyla’s in love with Dooku. John confesses his love for Teyla. Does Jo think she made the right choice? Okay. Teyla would actually wind up with John, since they’re so close anyway. Jo would definitely think she made the right choice since we all know that she and Dooku totally have a thing going.
7. #5 and #2 must pretend to be a married couple. Why?
Rodney and Qui-Gon have to pretend to be married for some, um, undercover mission. Maybe Rodney got captured on some alien planet, and the only way for him to escape was to get married, and Qui-Gon decided to step in and help. Of course Shep and company would never let McKay live this one down.
8. #10 is moving in with #9. What do they fight about the most?
Pepper already essentially lives with Tony. They’d fight about the mountains of paperwork and endless meetings and conferences that Tony routinely blows off to go play with shiny things in his workshop.
9. How will #4 prove his/her love to #1?
Ronon loves Dooku? *snorts* Um. Well, if Ronon’s on-show behavior towards Keller is any indicator, probably be being really, really obvious about it. Seriously, I don’t think ‘tact’ is in that man’s vocabulary. He could bring Dooku food, or, like, present him with the severed head of a Wraith or something. Oh Ronon.
10. #7 and #4. Love at first sight?
Sam and Ronon? Mutual respect at first sight, but not love.
11. What would #2 give #9 for Valentine's Day?
Qui-Gon would give Tony some sort of holobook on speeder designs. Tony would be mildly fascinated by the holobook itself but determine he could build one with better storage capabilities in three hours, but he’d be entranced by the speeder designs. He’d find the most outlandishly fantastic one, go, “I must have that!” and get to work straight away.
12. Under what circumstances could #3 and #5 have a happy end?
Under any circumstance, according to Teh Internetz at large! Seriously, McKay/Sheppard is pretty much the most popular pairing in the history of forever. It would help John if the American military didn’t have the whole ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ rule. Rodney, being Canadian, is baffled and really quite annoyed by that.
13. What would #8 like to change about #10? Does #10 approve?
Jo might want Pepper to put Tony in his place every once in a while. Pepper secretly approves.
14. #2 and #7 are together. Who is more protective of the other?
Qui and Sam are together. I think Sam might be a little more protective of Qui-Gon, but it would be roughly equal.
15. Who is first going to say "I love you", #1 or #9?
*snickers* Dooku and Tony both aren’t the type to actually come out and say that they love someone. Tony would probably get to the point more quickly, though he’d beat around the bush forever.
16. Describe #10 and #4's perfect romantic outing.
Oh dear. Ronon, though I love him to death, doesn’t do romantic very well. Perhaps they’d go to the beach, though. Pepper would be glad for an excuse to lose those ubiquitous high heels, and Ronon would just like being outdoors.
17. Who suffers from pre-wedding jitters, #3 or #8? How does bridesmaid/best man #10 soothe them?
John, definitely. Pepper would try to soothe him by rattling off a list of things that have been taken care of, and everything’s running smoothly, so really there’s no need to stress.
18. #6 is a secret admirer. What presents will they make the wo/man of their dreams?
Teyla is a secret admirer. Hmm. She seems more like the ‘spend quality time with people’ kind of gal than the gift-giving sort, but it would depend on the object of her affections.
Heehee.
1. Yan Dooku
2. Qui-Gon Jinn
3. John Sheppard
4. Ronon Dex
5. Rodney McKay
6. Teyla Emmagan
7. Samantha Carter
8. Jocasta Nu
9. Tony Stark
10. Pepper Potts
1. Describe the children of #3 and #7? Are they good parents?
Oh my gosh, John and Sam’s kids would be, um, a pack of little Mary Sues and Gary Stus because of the levels of pure genetic awesome they received from their parents. They’d probably be stunningly cute airplane-obsessed geniuses with really odd hair. Yeah, John and Sam would make great parents.
2. Describe #5 and #1's first kiss.
*laughs* Wow. Okay. Awkward. It would have to be under the influence of drugs or something - perhaps a mission gone awry - because that is a pairing that makes my brain hurt. Let’s see - Rodney would probably initiate said kiss, Dooku wouldn’t know what hit him, and both would be utterly horrified when they came to their senses. :P
3. How would #2 react to if #6 is pregnant with #10's baby?
Qui-Gon would be slightly baffled by the situation (Teyla pregnant with Pepper’s baby?) but he’d be congratulatory and very kind.
4. How does #8 convince #7 to go with him/her on a date?
Heehee, Jocasta would just offer to give Sam a tour of the Archives. I doubt Sam would pass that up, though she’d probably be pressured to go on Daniel’s behalf, too - (“We’re talking about a library stocked with terabytes of information about another galaxy, Carter. You can’t just pass that up!”)
5. Where would #9 and #6 go for their honeymoon? How is #4 going to sabotage their honeymoon?
Tony, being obscenely rich, would probably take Teyla to some private tropical island. That he totally owns. Ronon, being very protective of his teammate Teyla and disapproving strongly of Mr. Stark, would really, really want to just show up and lurk ominously and give Tony his death glare. That’d be enough. Shep would be forced to order him to stand down, ‘cuz he’d totally go through with it.
6. #6 is in love with #1. #3 confesses his/her love to #6. Whom would #6 pick? Does #8 think s/he made the right choice?
Whoo, I can has convoluted answers! Teyla’s in love with Dooku. John confesses his love for Teyla. Does Jo think she made the right choice? Okay. Teyla would actually wind up with John, since they’re so close anyway. Jo would definitely think she made the right choice since we all know that she and Dooku totally have a thing going.
7. #5 and #2 must pretend to be a married couple. Why?
Rodney and Qui-Gon have to pretend to be married for some, um, undercover mission. Maybe Rodney got captured on some alien planet, and the only way for him to escape was to get married, and Qui-Gon decided to step in and help. Of course Shep and company would never let McKay live this one down.
8. #10 is moving in with #9. What do they fight about the most?
Pepper already essentially lives with Tony. They’d fight about the mountains of paperwork and endless meetings and conferences that Tony routinely blows off to go play with shiny things in his workshop.
9. How will #4 prove his/her love to #1?
Ronon loves Dooku? *snorts* Um. Well, if Ronon’s on-show behavior towards Keller is any indicator, probably be being really, really obvious about it. Seriously, I don’t think ‘tact’ is in that man’s vocabulary. He could bring Dooku food, or, like, present him with the severed head of a Wraith or something. Oh Ronon.
10. #7 and #4. Love at first sight?
Sam and Ronon? Mutual respect at first sight, but not love.
11. What would #2 give #9 for Valentine's Day?
Qui-Gon would give Tony some sort of holobook on speeder designs. Tony would be mildly fascinated by the holobook itself but determine he could build one with better storage capabilities in three hours, but he’d be entranced by the speeder designs. He’d find the most outlandishly fantastic one, go, “I must have that!” and get to work straight away.
12. Under what circumstances could #3 and #5 have a happy end?
Under any circumstance, according to Teh Internetz at large! Seriously, McKay/Sheppard is pretty much the most popular pairing in the history of forever. It would help John if the American military didn’t have the whole ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ rule. Rodney, being Canadian, is baffled and really quite annoyed by that.
13. What would #8 like to change about #10? Does #10 approve?
Jo might want Pepper to put Tony in his place every once in a while. Pepper secretly approves.
14. #2 and #7 are together. Who is more protective of the other?
Qui and Sam are together. I think Sam might be a little more protective of Qui-Gon, but it would be roughly equal.
15. Who is first going to say "I love you", #1 or #9?
*snickers* Dooku and Tony both aren’t the type to actually come out and say that they love someone. Tony would probably get to the point more quickly, though he’d beat around the bush forever.
16. Describe #10 and #4's perfect romantic outing.
Oh dear. Ronon, though I love him to death, doesn’t do romantic very well. Perhaps they’d go to the beach, though. Pepper would be glad for an excuse to lose those ubiquitous high heels, and Ronon would just like being outdoors.
17. Who suffers from pre-wedding jitters, #3 or #8? How does bridesmaid/best man #10 soothe them?
John, definitely. Pepper would try to soothe him by rattling off a list of things that have been taken care of, and everything’s running smoothly, so really there’s no need to stress.
18. #6 is a secret admirer. What presents will they make the wo/man of their dreams?
Teyla is a secret admirer. Hmm. She seems more like the ‘spend quality time with people’ kind of gal than the gift-giving sort, but it would depend on the object of her affections.
Heehee.