A Conversation That’s Not About Veela
A CONVERSATION THAT'S NOT ABOUT VEELA
Summary: Harry and Professor Lupin talk about women, and other things.
Written for the rt_morelove "Stocking Filler Exchange," for gilpin25's prompt "Listen, no bloke in his right mind's going to fancy Tonks when Fleur's around." (Ron, HBP, Ch.5) and it kind of wandered onwards from there. Also kind of for shimotsuki’s comment that there should be more moments between Remus and Harry.
Characters: Harry, Remus
Words: ~2,000
Notes: Thank you to stereolightning for beta-reading!
Story:
It was late on the afternoon of Christmas Day, long after Rufus Scrimgeour’s dramatic entrance and Percy’s even more dramatic exit, and after the Weasley family had all scattered to various other pursuits, that Harry found himself sitting alone by the fire in the sitting room of the Burrow with Professor Lupin.
The last of the others Harry had seen were Bill and Fleur, who’d gone giggling off outdoors together for the afternoon - no, scratch that, Harry had also seen Ron watching them go, with that slightly confused expression on his face like he couldn’t quite decide whether to be jealous of Bill’s luck or be trying to watch him closely and pick up pointers for future use.
Mostly Harry found it a little exasperating the way Ron mooned whenever Fleur was around (Ron had a girlfriend, not to mention Fleur was going to marry his brother) but today after lunch, watching Bill help Fleur into her winter cloak and Fleur kiss his nose in thanks, Harry had found he could kind of see where Ron was coming from.
Well, not the nose-kissing bit, that was a sort of weird, but there was something about the way Bill and Fleur seemed so happy and right when they were together, the way Bill looked at her like she was the best thing in the world and she looked right back like he was just the same. A bloke couldn't help but kind of want that, right?
Harry realised he'd been lost in his thoughts, sitting in silence next to Lupin, so he said the first thing that came into his head, which happened to be, “Ron thinks any bloke would be mad not to fancy a girl like Fleur. What do you reckon, Professor?”
Then Harry blinked a bit and rewound that last bit he’d just said.
“I mean - I didn’t mean - I’m not implying that you -”
“No, no, I know what you mean.” Professor Lupin frowned slightly. “At least, I think I do.”
“Oh, good,” said Harry in relief. “Okay.” He fidgeted a little with a tassel-covered throw pillow that must have got hit with some kind of charm out of one of the Christmas crackers, because it kept ambling off the back of the sofa and bumping against Harry’s shoulder. “I think what Ron said, actually, was that nobody would ever fancy somebody like, say, Tonks, if Fleur was around.”
Harry looked up to find that his professor’s expression had gone carefully neutral. “Did he?” was all Lupin said.
“Yeah, which - I know it sounds dumb, to say it like that. Tonks is great and all, really.”
Harry thought Tonks was pretty fantastic, actually, not least because she was the only Auror he'd met who was young, and funny, and didn't take herself too seriously. But though he liked her as a person, he didn't fancy her, so maybe Ron was right?
Then again, he didn't exactly fancy Fleur either, not the way Ron did. So what did that say about Harry? It was all very confusing.
And how had he got himself into this conversation, with a former teacher, no less? He concluded lamely, “We all really like Tonks. But Fleur is… Fleur.”
“Quite,” Professor Lupin said, and smiled. To Harry’s relief, he didn’t seem offended. It was sort of weird to be having a conversation like this with Lupin - it seemed more like the kind of talk Harry could have had with Sirius, or even with his dad, if things in life had gone very differently.
But they weren’t here, and Lupin was.
“However,” Lupin continued. “These things are entirely subjective, of course, but personally I happen to consider Tonks eminently worthy of being ‘fancied,’ as you would put it. I find her not only beautiful, but also a number of things I value even more, such as clever, and funny, and rather terrifyingly good at the work she does.” Lupin cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. But then, it was probably a bit strange for him, too, to be talking about his colleagues this way.
Then he seemed to recall himself to the point of what he’d been saying. "Whereas a woman such as Fleur is not really my type, and never has been. With no offence meant to Fleur, of course - I’m sure she’s a lovely person, I simply don’t know her well enough to say.”
On the balance, Harry thought “lovely” probably wasn’t actually the word he would use to describe Fleur, though there was no denying she was almost impossibly beautiful.
“Is it always like that?” he heard himself ask. “I mean, that the pretty girls are also the difficult ones?”
He couldn’t help thinking of Cho, who was so pretty and so incomprehensible.
To his surprise, Professor Lupin laughed. “Harry, I think you can answer that one yourself. Think of all the beautiful girls you know and ask yourself if that last proposition holds any weight at all.”
Cheeks flushing, now Harry was thinking of Ginny, who was both beautiful and all those other things Lupin had said - clever and funny and talented. And she was wonderfully uncomplicated, never bursting into tears or storming away for reasons no sensible person would be able to fathom. She also had a boyfriend, which was something Harry knew he really ought to do a better job of keeping in mind.
“Yeah, well, the good ones are usually taken already, aren’t they?” he mumbled, then looked up to find Lupin’s uncomfortably shrewd gaze on him.
Harry quickly cast around for something else to say. “Er, like, look at Ron, right? It does look a bit silly, doesn’t it, fancying someone who’s with someone else?”
Lupin still looked rather too understanding for Harry’s liking. “Harry, I wish I could tell you otherwise, but this is one of those things that will simply not always be easy. Sometimes, what you want won’t be possible. Sometimes all you can do is let go.”
He looked pensive enough that Harry thought he must have some first-hand experience on that front. Harry wished he dared to ask, but he didn’t, not quite.
Anyway, weren’t they supposedly talking about Ron? Not Harry. And not Professor Lupin, either.
“I suppose he can’t help it,” Harry ventured. “She’s part Veela… I remember what it was like at the Quidditch World Cup, seeing all those Veela at once.” Boy, did he remember. Would the Bulgarian team mascots really have let half the men present that day jump from the heights of the stadium boxes, if left unchecked?
Lupin smiled again. “There’s nothing wrong with admiring beauty, Harry. But a man needs to understand the difference between infatuation and love. I imagine, though, that Ron’s interest in Fleur will pass in time, so no harm done.”
Harry wondered how Lupin would classify the way Harry felt about Ginny, which of those two he would say it was. But that was one question Harry definitely wasn’t going to ask!
In its place, though, a less pleasant thought made itself known. Harry’s mum and dad… His dad had pursued his mum for years, despite knowing perfectly well that she despised him. If that wasn’t infatuation, what was?
“Professor…” he started.
“You really needn’t call me ‘Professor,’ Harry. ‘Remus’ would be perfectly fine.”
“Er… right.” Harry gave it a moment’s attempt, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he just ploughed on. “Anyway, my dad -” he started again, and then wasn’t sure how to continue. How do you express, My dad did exactly the opposite of what you just said a man should do, didn’t he? Does that make him a bad person?
Luckily, Lupin seemed to get it. “Was obnoxiously obsessed with Lily for years as a teenager, yes. Don’t hold it against him, Harry. What’s far more important is that they both loved each other so very deeply, after they grew up a bit more. If you remember nothing else I tell you, I very much hope you’ll remember that. Your parents remain one of my strongest models of what it means to truly love.”
“When did it change, then? I mean, when did it stop being infatuation and start being something else?”
“Oh, dear, I think I’ve made myself out to be wiser than I really am, if you’re asking me questions like that.” Lupin leant forward to take up the poker from its stand next to the fire and nudged a few errant embers back into place.
“All right, here’s my go at it,” he said, after another few moments. “It changed when James started caring more about Lily being happy than about whether she ever ended up returning his feelings. And, rather ironically, that was the point when she began to see that perhaps he had a bit of depth after all, and maybe he was worth a second look.”
Harry sighed. His feelings about Ginny probably didn’t count, then. Because, as much as he might wish he didn’t, he had to admit to himself that he had some strong views about how much better it would be if Ginny would just decide to be with him, Harry, instead of with Dean.
Still gazing into the fire, Professor Lupin said quite softly, “It’s not an easy place to reach, that kind of caring without needing to possess. But one can try. And sometimes, one must.”
Startled, Harry turned to look at the man beside him. Something in his voice… Harry thought of Lupin, when he thought about him at all, as somebody very wise and kind and good, and he knew Lupin had been through a lot of hardship in his life, of course, obviously, everyone knew that, but he’d never really stopped and thought about how Lupin must feel.
Whatever Lupin was feeling at the moment, there was no question he was feeling it strongly. Harry thought he ought to say something, anything really, but before he could even open his mouth to speak, Lupin visibly shook himself.
“Goodness, the things I’m saying to you! I apologise, Harry. Please, ignore my ramblings. We were talking about your parents.”
“Actually, I think we were talking about Veela,” Harry said, confused by Lupin’s moment of sudden sadness, or whatever that had been, and trying to lighten the mood any way he could.
Lupin chuckled, once again the kind and unruffled professor. “We were, weren’t we? How in Merlin’s name did we get started on that?”
“I’m not exactly sure,” Harry said honestly.
They smiled at each other, and for the first time Harry thought maybe he would be able to come round someday to calling Lupin “Remus,” and thinking of him more as a friend and not only as a teacher. After all, Sirius had only ever been “Sirius,” and Remus had been just as much a friend to Harry’s parents as Sirius had.
“Truly, Harry, these things will work themselves out in time,” Lupin said, breaking into Harry’s reflections. “I haven’t the least doubt you will find great love in your life. It’s simply the kind of person you are.”
Harry had his doubts about that at the moment, but somehow Lupin made it sound plausible.
“Though you would, perhaps, do well to steer clear of Veela,” Lupin added with a thoughtful frown. "Beauty that seeks to conquer all who see it is not the worthiest kind of beauty you could seek out."
Harry thought of Ron upending the gravy boat in his eagerness to pass it to Fleur at lunch and winced. “Yeah, I’m with you on that one.”
“But someone who is not only beautiful, but also kind and clever? You really can’t go wrong. Just to love a person like that is a privilege in and of itself.”
Harry thought about that, and thought that yes, maybe he could live with that.
For now, at least.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Note: If you enjoyed this story, you'll definitely enjoy stereolightning's remix of the same scene from Remus' perspective: A Conversation That's Not About Dora.
Summary: Harry and Professor Lupin talk about women, and other things.
Written for the rt_morelove "Stocking Filler Exchange," for gilpin25's prompt "Listen, no bloke in his right mind's going to fancy Tonks when Fleur's around." (Ron, HBP, Ch.5) and it kind of wandered onwards from there. Also kind of for shimotsuki’s comment that there should be more moments between Remus and Harry.
Characters: Harry, Remus
Words: ~2,000
Notes: Thank you to stereolightning for beta-reading!
Story:
It was late on the afternoon of Christmas Day, long after Rufus Scrimgeour’s dramatic entrance and Percy’s even more dramatic exit, and after the Weasley family had all scattered to various other pursuits, that Harry found himself sitting alone by the fire in the sitting room of the Burrow with Professor Lupin.
The last of the others Harry had seen were Bill and Fleur, who’d gone giggling off outdoors together for the afternoon - no, scratch that, Harry had also seen Ron watching them go, with that slightly confused expression on his face like he couldn’t quite decide whether to be jealous of Bill’s luck or be trying to watch him closely and pick up pointers for future use.
Mostly Harry found it a little exasperating the way Ron mooned whenever Fleur was around (Ron had a girlfriend, not to mention Fleur was going to marry his brother) but today after lunch, watching Bill help Fleur into her winter cloak and Fleur kiss his nose in thanks, Harry had found he could kind of see where Ron was coming from.
Well, not the nose-kissing bit, that was a sort of weird, but there was something about the way Bill and Fleur seemed so happy and right when they were together, the way Bill looked at her like she was the best thing in the world and she looked right back like he was just the same. A bloke couldn't help but kind of want that, right?
Harry realised he'd been lost in his thoughts, sitting in silence next to Lupin, so he said the first thing that came into his head, which happened to be, “Ron thinks any bloke would be mad not to fancy a girl like Fleur. What do you reckon, Professor?”
Then Harry blinked a bit and rewound that last bit he’d just said.
“I mean - I didn’t mean - I’m not implying that you -”
“No, no, I know what you mean.” Professor Lupin frowned slightly. “At least, I think I do.”
“Oh, good,” said Harry in relief. “Okay.” He fidgeted a little with a tassel-covered throw pillow that must have got hit with some kind of charm out of one of the Christmas crackers, because it kept ambling off the back of the sofa and bumping against Harry’s shoulder. “I think what Ron said, actually, was that nobody would ever fancy somebody like, say, Tonks, if Fleur was around.”
Harry looked up to find that his professor’s expression had gone carefully neutral. “Did he?” was all Lupin said.
“Yeah, which - I know it sounds dumb, to say it like that. Tonks is great and all, really.”
Harry thought Tonks was pretty fantastic, actually, not least because she was the only Auror he'd met who was young, and funny, and didn't take herself too seriously. But though he liked her as a person, he didn't fancy her, so maybe Ron was right?
Then again, he didn't exactly fancy Fleur either, not the way Ron did. So what did that say about Harry? It was all very confusing.
And how had he got himself into this conversation, with a former teacher, no less? He concluded lamely, “We all really like Tonks. But Fleur is… Fleur.”
“Quite,” Professor Lupin said, and smiled. To Harry’s relief, he didn’t seem offended. It was sort of weird to be having a conversation like this with Lupin - it seemed more like the kind of talk Harry could have had with Sirius, or even with his dad, if things in life had gone very differently.
But they weren’t here, and Lupin was.
“However,” Lupin continued. “These things are entirely subjective, of course, but personally I happen to consider Tonks eminently worthy of being ‘fancied,’ as you would put it. I find her not only beautiful, but also a number of things I value even more, such as clever, and funny, and rather terrifyingly good at the work she does.” Lupin cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. But then, it was probably a bit strange for him, too, to be talking about his colleagues this way.
Then he seemed to recall himself to the point of what he’d been saying. "Whereas a woman such as Fleur is not really my type, and never has been. With no offence meant to Fleur, of course - I’m sure she’s a lovely person, I simply don’t know her well enough to say.”
On the balance, Harry thought “lovely” probably wasn’t actually the word he would use to describe Fleur, though there was no denying she was almost impossibly beautiful.
“Is it always like that?” he heard himself ask. “I mean, that the pretty girls are also the difficult ones?”
He couldn’t help thinking of Cho, who was so pretty and so incomprehensible.
To his surprise, Professor Lupin laughed. “Harry, I think you can answer that one yourself. Think of all the beautiful girls you know and ask yourself if that last proposition holds any weight at all.”
Cheeks flushing, now Harry was thinking of Ginny, who was both beautiful and all those other things Lupin had said - clever and funny and talented. And she was wonderfully uncomplicated, never bursting into tears or storming away for reasons no sensible person would be able to fathom. She also had a boyfriend, which was something Harry knew he really ought to do a better job of keeping in mind.
“Yeah, well, the good ones are usually taken already, aren’t they?” he mumbled, then looked up to find Lupin’s uncomfortably shrewd gaze on him.
Harry quickly cast around for something else to say. “Er, like, look at Ron, right? It does look a bit silly, doesn’t it, fancying someone who’s with someone else?”
Lupin still looked rather too understanding for Harry’s liking. “Harry, I wish I could tell you otherwise, but this is one of those things that will simply not always be easy. Sometimes, what you want won’t be possible. Sometimes all you can do is let go.”
He looked pensive enough that Harry thought he must have some first-hand experience on that front. Harry wished he dared to ask, but he didn’t, not quite.
Anyway, weren’t they supposedly talking about Ron? Not Harry. And not Professor Lupin, either.
“I suppose he can’t help it,” Harry ventured. “She’s part Veela… I remember what it was like at the Quidditch World Cup, seeing all those Veela at once.” Boy, did he remember. Would the Bulgarian team mascots really have let half the men present that day jump from the heights of the stadium boxes, if left unchecked?
Lupin smiled again. “There’s nothing wrong with admiring beauty, Harry. But a man needs to understand the difference between infatuation and love. I imagine, though, that Ron’s interest in Fleur will pass in time, so no harm done.”
Harry wondered how Lupin would classify the way Harry felt about Ginny, which of those two he would say it was. But that was one question Harry definitely wasn’t going to ask!
In its place, though, a less pleasant thought made itself known. Harry’s mum and dad… His dad had pursued his mum for years, despite knowing perfectly well that she despised him. If that wasn’t infatuation, what was?
“Professor…” he started.
“You really needn’t call me ‘Professor,’ Harry. ‘Remus’ would be perfectly fine.”
“Er… right.” Harry gave it a moment’s attempt, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he just ploughed on. “Anyway, my dad -” he started again, and then wasn’t sure how to continue. How do you express, My dad did exactly the opposite of what you just said a man should do, didn’t he? Does that make him a bad person?
Luckily, Lupin seemed to get it. “Was obnoxiously obsessed with Lily for years as a teenager, yes. Don’t hold it against him, Harry. What’s far more important is that they both loved each other so very deeply, after they grew up a bit more. If you remember nothing else I tell you, I very much hope you’ll remember that. Your parents remain one of my strongest models of what it means to truly love.”
“When did it change, then? I mean, when did it stop being infatuation and start being something else?”
“Oh, dear, I think I’ve made myself out to be wiser than I really am, if you’re asking me questions like that.” Lupin leant forward to take up the poker from its stand next to the fire and nudged a few errant embers back into place.
“All right, here’s my go at it,” he said, after another few moments. “It changed when James started caring more about Lily being happy than about whether she ever ended up returning his feelings. And, rather ironically, that was the point when she began to see that perhaps he had a bit of depth after all, and maybe he was worth a second look.”
Harry sighed. His feelings about Ginny probably didn’t count, then. Because, as much as he might wish he didn’t, he had to admit to himself that he had some strong views about how much better it would be if Ginny would just decide to be with him, Harry, instead of with Dean.
Still gazing into the fire, Professor Lupin said quite softly, “It’s not an easy place to reach, that kind of caring without needing to possess. But one can try. And sometimes, one must.”
Startled, Harry turned to look at the man beside him. Something in his voice… Harry thought of Lupin, when he thought about him at all, as somebody very wise and kind and good, and he knew Lupin had been through a lot of hardship in his life, of course, obviously, everyone knew that, but he’d never really stopped and thought about how Lupin must feel.
Whatever Lupin was feeling at the moment, there was no question he was feeling it strongly. Harry thought he ought to say something, anything really, but before he could even open his mouth to speak, Lupin visibly shook himself.
“Goodness, the things I’m saying to you! I apologise, Harry. Please, ignore my ramblings. We were talking about your parents.”
“Actually, I think we were talking about Veela,” Harry said, confused by Lupin’s moment of sudden sadness, or whatever that had been, and trying to lighten the mood any way he could.
Lupin chuckled, once again the kind and unruffled professor. “We were, weren’t we? How in Merlin’s name did we get started on that?”
“I’m not exactly sure,” Harry said honestly.
They smiled at each other, and for the first time Harry thought maybe he would be able to come round someday to calling Lupin “Remus,” and thinking of him more as a friend and not only as a teacher. After all, Sirius had only ever been “Sirius,” and Remus had been just as much a friend to Harry’s parents as Sirius had.
“Truly, Harry, these things will work themselves out in time,” Lupin said, breaking into Harry’s reflections. “I haven’t the least doubt you will find great love in your life. It’s simply the kind of person you are.”
Harry had his doubts about that at the moment, but somehow Lupin made it sound plausible.
“Though you would, perhaps, do well to steer clear of Veela,” Lupin added with a thoughtful frown. "Beauty that seeks to conquer all who see it is not the worthiest kind of beauty you could seek out."
Harry thought of Ron upending the gravy boat in his eagerness to pass it to Fleur at lunch and winced. “Yeah, I’m with you on that one.”
“But someone who is not only beautiful, but also kind and clever? You really can’t go wrong. Just to love a person like that is a privilege in and of itself.”
Harry thought about that, and thought that yes, maybe he could live with that.
For now, at least.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Note: If you enjoyed this story, you'll definitely enjoy stereolightning's remix of the same scene from Remus' perspective: A Conversation That's Not About Dora.