"I'm just chasing time again."
Apparently I'm sick or something. I don't feel good. =/ Going to go seen Don in umm... 20 minutes? I gotta find the bank around here first. So I can cash in my change... I have a ton of change. Then I gotta get gas. Or something. I found a really hot pic of Peter Steele. Lol It's great.
SPEAKING of which. Steven was upset with me last night b/c I said Khan sounds like Peter. And... everyone knows I'm obsessed with His (Peter, although I do like Khan's) voice. Lol Or well, him in general. =) I think I'm going to listen to them today.
Amy and I are suppose to go to lunch sometime next week. I also tried to get ahold of Jeff. I'll probably go back to Lake County again next week, after the Amy thing.
AAAAHHHH. FUNNY. Tignal. He freaking re-added me to myspace. Oh, this gets better. He's single now. So he just... re-adds me out of nowhere. What a loser. =/
I can't wait till Steven is here. 3-6 more months. =( Feels like it's taking forever. I still don't have a job. I feel so horrible about it. He's working 40 hours a week now so he can come here. So we'll have some money to get started, and I can't even find a fucking job. Can you say DEPRESSING?! GUH. Well, I love him. I'll just have to try harder. That's what I'll do this week. Mhm.
I figured out the a.c. prob in my car. It's the wiring. When it doesn't come on, all I have to do is reach in the floorboard of the passenger side, and wiggle the wires, and it comes on. Still don't have my new speakers in. I'm about to fucking try to do it myself. B/c it's pissing me off. =/ The screen on my phone is still fucked up.
So yeah, I have a message for someone...(Not Brandin, but you know who you are.)
"I've been thinking about you again. I just wanted you to know... I doubt it's a mutual feeling though. Nothing between us was ever the same. I just wish it never happened. I just wish you weren't such an idiot. Really, I think I miss you. You're like a bacteria though. So I should be happy to be rid of you, but I'm not. I don't think anyone understood why I was with you... Part of me wants to run back to you and apologize, but I know I was in the right. God, I dream about you all the time. I hate it so much that I can't just let go. You're going to hold me back for the rest of my life, and I won't even cross your mind. I hate how life is like that. We were happy weren't we? I took such good care of you, and at the slightest bit of tension... I dont think I deserved that shit from you. You were suppose to understand. I want you to know that I've learned from you. I'm not so naive anymore. I don't trust that easily anymore. I just miss you... I wish you'd care."
*sigh*
"Promise me tomorrow starts with you... It's hard to believe you still remember me."
I have one for Brandin too, since I know he still reads this shit, I'm sure.
I know you read that email. I could hear it in your voice. I told you there was nothing left to say b/c it wasn't open for discussion. I just wanted you look at what you said to me. See the lie in it. See why it hurt so bad. That's all. I also know you had something to say. You were looking for an opening. I'm not giving you one, but if you want to talk (apologize) then I'll listen. You know my number.
SPEAKING of which. Steven was upset with me last night b/c I said Khan sounds like Peter. And... everyone knows I'm obsessed with His (Peter, although I do like Khan's) voice. Lol Or well, him in general. =) I think I'm going to listen to them today.
Amy and I are suppose to go to lunch sometime next week. I also tried to get ahold of Jeff. I'll probably go back to Lake County again next week, after the Amy thing.
AAAAHHHH. FUNNY. Tignal. He freaking re-added me to myspace. Oh, this gets better. He's single now. So he just... re-adds me out of nowhere. What a loser. =/
I can't wait till Steven is here. 3-6 more months. =( Feels like it's taking forever. I still don't have a job. I feel so horrible about it. He's working 40 hours a week now so he can come here. So we'll have some money to get started, and I can't even find a fucking job. Can you say DEPRESSING?! GUH. Well, I love him. I'll just have to try harder. That's what I'll do this week. Mhm.
I figured out the a.c. prob in my car. It's the wiring. When it doesn't come on, all I have to do is reach in the floorboard of the passenger side, and wiggle the wires, and it comes on. Still don't have my new speakers in. I'm about to fucking try to do it myself. B/c it's pissing me off. =/ The screen on my phone is still fucked up.
So yeah, I have a message for someone...(Not Brandin, but you know who you are.)
"I've been thinking about you again. I just wanted you to know... I doubt it's a mutual feeling though. Nothing between us was ever the same. I just wish it never happened. I just wish you weren't such an idiot. Really, I think I miss you. You're like a bacteria though. So I should be happy to be rid of you, but I'm not. I don't think anyone understood why I was with you... Part of me wants to run back to you and apologize, but I know I was in the right. God, I dream about you all the time. I hate it so much that I can't just let go. You're going to hold me back for the rest of my life, and I won't even cross your mind. I hate how life is like that. We were happy weren't we? I took such good care of you, and at the slightest bit of tension... I dont think I deserved that shit from you. You were suppose to understand. I want you to know that I've learned from you. I'm not so naive anymore. I don't trust that easily anymore. I just miss you... I wish you'd care."
*sigh*
"Promise me tomorrow starts with you... It's hard to believe you still remember me."
I have one for Brandin too, since I know he still reads this shit, I'm sure.
I know you read that email. I could hear it in your voice. I told you there was nothing left to say b/c it wasn't open for discussion. I just wanted you look at what you said to me. See the lie in it. See why it hurt so bad. That's all. I also know you had something to say. You were looking for an opening. I'm not giving you one, but if you want to talk (apologize) then I'll listen. You know my number.