FIC: Part 2 - Demand
Title: Part 2 - Demand
Author: starfirefic
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Owen, Jack
Word Count: ~2,000ish
Genre: Kink, pure and simple (oh, alright, there may be some character stuff in there too)
Rating: Definite NC-17
Beta: The incomparable riftugee (without whom there'd be a lot more monologue, and a lot less Jacktion)
Author's Notes:Written as the second part of ( Read more... )
Author: starfirefic
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Owen, Jack
Word Count: ~2,000ish
Genre: Kink, pure and simple (oh, alright, there may be some character stuff in there too)
Rating: Definite NC-17
Beta: The incomparable riftugee (without whom there'd be a lot more monologue, and a lot less Jacktion)
Author's Notes:Written as the second part of ( Read more... )
“Yes. Yes I did.” Jack glanced up at last, the slightest hint of a knowing glint in his eyes that did… uncomfortable… things to the pit of Owen’s stomach. “Show me your hands, Owen,” he said, conversationally.
Guh. This line did ...uncomfortable ...things to my girly bits.
“Show me,” Jack repeated, his voice hardening just the tiniest, tiniest fraction, “your hands. Now.”
double guh.
And, God, Owen couldn’t help the gasp that escaped then.
guuuuuuuuuuuuuuh ... for some reason, this line struck me as ~~incredibly~~ in character, and so very hot. I could ~picture~ Burn Gorman doing that on screen ... mmm, how I wish we could get the actors to act this whole thing out ... *drools*
So crashing to his knees wasn’t a choice. Not really. Choice wasn’t an option the fiery torrent had left him. Kneeling there - eyes level with the buckle of Jack’s belt, want and lust a hot copper tang at the back of his dessicated throat - was nothing more or less than an inevitability.
Guuuuuuuuuuh ... oh Jack's belt buckle, oh oh. So hot, so hot.
Jack’s chuckle flowed over his senses, and the glint in his dark eyes hardened to diamond. “Yeah,” he smirked as he traced one edge of Owen’s lip with a featherlight touch. “Somehow, I just knew you’d say that.”
So very very very hot. Your dom!Jack is doing wicked things to me ... *is ded*
He is so very very well written, and very in character. As is your Owen. The only bits I had trouble with were the part where Jack talks about the pendant, (specifically "That’s why I could read the signs with sweet little Tosh.” ew, he sounds like a pedo or something X| ) and how Owen calls him 'Harkness' a bunch. Those sounded a little less than true to me. I mean, I may be wrong, but I don't remember Owen ever calling Jack "Harkness" in cannon. Maybe sarcastically calling him "boss" or "sir" or something. But other than that it was all very in character, and ~very~ hot.
I would ~~love~~ to read a sequel, but if you're not comfortable writing the kink, then you're not comfortable ... I certainly wish you luck though, and judging by this, *I* think you would do a great job! :3
Reply
Heh... I have to grin - the things that seemed to give you the most "guh"s were the things I totally got a "guh" out of writing.
With respect to the concrit, thanks for that as well. It's interesting with the way Owen refers to Jack as "Harkness" - I think I remember him doing that once or twice in s1 when he was at his most on edge and pissed off, and because he spends most of "Denial" and "Demand" in exactly that state, it worked in my head for him to do the same (although it was deliberate that the further he fell into subspace, the less he used it, and the more it became "Jack" in his mind). I totally appreciate that it might not work the same for everyone though, so thanks for letting me know.
As for the 'sweet little Tosh' thing... ooops - it didn't occur to me that it could strike someone that way. Heh... I originally had the bit about there being lines Jack wouldn't cross as him saying "I left the days when I'd force myself on the genuinely unwilling behind me a long time ago" because it sounded threatening in my mind, but my lovely beta pointed out that it made Jack sound like a recovering rapist, and that wasn't *really* the image I had in mine for him, so that got reworked quite a bit to the way it is now. Possibly the line you've pointed out could do with similar treatment (*looks embarrassed*)
Anyway, thank you for commenting - I really do appreciate it!
Reply
Heh, the funny thing is, on first read-through that line *doesn't* strike me as Jack being a recovering rapist ... but maybe that's because I have a dub-con/non-con kink in fanfic. I guess it just goes to prove different things strike people in different ways.
Anyway, you're welcome ;)
Reply
Leave a comment