The setup, before the break down.
In a rare occurrence of fate I was fortunate enough to get the News Jocelyn was back in town before a lot of other people. I felt the usual giddyness that comes with having a ripe secret, and the regret that she is no longer a distant phantom. I've been up and down for the past three days, Happy for her, Happy for my friends that missed her, Happy to see her myself at some points. yet after all I still feel sad, pitiable and wretched at the thought of confronting this amazing person with the same old story and the usual getup. I don't know how I've changed at all since we split I know she's been off on adventures and traveled the world. We just don't stack up, and i'm embarrassed about how poorly I've gotten on.
I wish i had someone, anyone, who I could talk to frankly who wouldn't just tell me to nut up and get past it. I thought i was past it, I could be past it. i don't know why this shit happens. all too often this crap swings back up and hits me in the nuts. I'm tired of it.
I also wanted to see everyone for breakfast. and that didn't happen, so shucks.
I read that writing shit down, no mater how stupid, helps, so here we are again. I also thought that I was a better narrator than i am.
also, today I lost a million dollars at work. who gets to say that? and I still have a job no less.
I wish i had someone, anyone, who I could talk to frankly who wouldn't just tell me to nut up and get past it. I thought i was past it, I could be past it. i don't know why this shit happens. all too often this crap swings back up and hits me in the nuts. I'm tired of it.
I also wanted to see everyone for breakfast. and that didn't happen, so shucks.
I read that writing shit down, no mater how stupid, helps, so here we are again. I also thought that I was a better narrator than i am.
also, today I lost a million dollars at work. who gets to say that? and I still have a job no less.