Last words
"After the End"
Sometimes I wonder what life made out of me
- a lost sinking space filled with unclarity.
Fuzzy images show through the filthy broken lens
which pieces stayed together even after sorrow's end.
Bludgeoned down the highway, and swept from side to side
all the feelings mixed together and melted inside.
And the clouds of coming fog and untimely desperation
will kill me as I lose even more of my sensation.
I stand up taller when I'm down on my knees.
I'm blown far as a feather in the light autumn breeze.
To a world of calloused old-aged entreprenuers,
I'm a fool to believe that I couldn't ever just lose her.
Cursed to dream of what may or may not come,
I toss and I throw away souveniers by the ton.
But I still feel too heavy to even open my eyes
for their windows were locked by so many goodbyes.
Failing, I'm failing to spot a source of truth in here
in a place that seems empty though it's filled with sad fear.
I'd wake up if only I could find an impossible way
to get back to my heart I left behind that day
where I died and my love still turned away
for ever since then, I haven't been okay.
Fifteen months might as well be a hundred years
for such a length of time chips away at the tears.
From heartache so overwhelming that it binds one's breath
and bathes all colour in darkness as if you were dead.
But days pass by the month and it takes its toll.
It erases happiness you felt inside of your soul,
and lets the questions go by unseen and unanswered;
- as if the times that you'll never forget never really mattered.
......
But she's still here with me inside of my room,
and still drives me around in the light of the moon,
and still kills me with silence everyday.
I still can't live this life after she threw ours away."
November 22nd, 2006
xx
Sometimes I wonder what life made out of me
- a lost sinking space filled with unclarity.
Fuzzy images show through the filthy broken lens
which pieces stayed together even after sorrow's end.
Bludgeoned down the highway, and swept from side to side
all the feelings mixed together and melted inside.
And the clouds of coming fog and untimely desperation
will kill me as I lose even more of my sensation.
I stand up taller when I'm down on my knees.
I'm blown far as a feather in the light autumn breeze.
To a world of calloused old-aged entreprenuers,
I'm a fool to believe that I couldn't ever just lose her.
Cursed to dream of what may or may not come,
I toss and I throw away souveniers by the ton.
But I still feel too heavy to even open my eyes
for their windows were locked by so many goodbyes.
Failing, I'm failing to spot a source of truth in here
in a place that seems empty though it's filled with sad fear.
I'd wake up if only I could find an impossible way
to get back to my heart I left behind that day
where I died and my love still turned away
for ever since then, I haven't been okay.
Fifteen months might as well be a hundred years
for such a length of time chips away at the tears.
From heartache so overwhelming that it binds one's breath
and bathes all colour in darkness as if you were dead.
But days pass by the month and it takes its toll.
It erases happiness you felt inside of your soul,
and lets the questions go by unseen and unanswered;
- as if the times that you'll never forget never really mattered.
......
But she's still here with me inside of my room,
and still drives me around in the light of the moon,
and still kills me with silence everyday.
I still can't live this life after she threw ours away."
November 22nd, 2006
xx