Art

[stareeyed]

Today I had a crit in my abstract drawing class. I swear to god I think i was the only one in the class that didn't get a lot of positive criticism. It was really depressing, especially since I hated what i showed. I woke up this morning to chose what work to show for the crit, and I realized that I hated all of it. All of it. I hated the direction it had taken, and I was bored by my own art. bored to tears, and all I could feel was dislike and disgust at the simplicity that was not elegant, or interesting or unique. I don't want my work to be boring, I want my art to invoke strong emotions, to invoke something from the viewer, either strong dislike or love of the work. And I didn't see it. I used to be all about color and expression, and the work I had been working on for the past few weeks incorporated grids, squares, rectangles and color relationships. Aside from the color, it didn't even look like me. The compositions were very simple, acrylic on paper, two things I never used to use, I used to just work with oil and canvas, but I feel that because of this class, my work has wandered so far from what it originally was, I've lost sight of it. and I want and need to get back there, but bring in the new knowledge and ideas I've attained from this tangent. My goal I guess is to find my niche, my key, the thing that sets my art apart from everyone else. When critiquing art, most often, you are compared to other artists work, and often, when I look at my art, i feel as if I don't own it, it doesn't belong to me. It's been done, there are fifty artists who've done this, who've used this, and its not unique anymore. I want to find what makes my art me, what makes it so that I own it, and it exudes something unlike joan mitchell, or olga Rozanova or Eva Hesse. I want art that says " shelley carr."

Augh. Whoever says art is easy clearly has never made real art before.