Didn't get them
Well, neither Mike or I got our jobs we were hoping for. As far as Mike's application for East Lansing, he got an email saying that he wasn't selected for an interview. 150 applicants applied. The problem in this economy is that Mike and I are competing against people who do already have experience who have been laid off from their own jobs.
So, yeah. I didn't get the job. You know, the only job that I have had an interview for? My first interview was February 8th and I didn't find out until the first week of May that it was a no-go. I was supposed to hear back about a week and a half before I did. I called, was told it would be a few more days, and then finally got an email saying they had a hard decision and selected another candidate. I guess I just have to be proud that I got a second interview, considering I have no experience practicing on my own. But, it's hard to think like that. I was basically feel like the job was mine. I thought about buying new clothes for it (I even did buy a 3 undershirts), new shoes, when and where we'd move to, etc. etc. The thing is, I never let myself get optimistic like that. I am usually the pessimist, but Mike kept telling me that he thinks I got it. So, it was a punch in the gut when I got the email that I didn't. I cried that entire day after that.
But, the funniest thing happened. The next day, I woke up and I was reinvigorated on my job search. I think I was in desperation mode for so long, like waiting patiently every day for the call from them, that it really began to feel like if I didn't get the job I was going to die. But, when I didn't die, I was able to accept the fact and move on. I was hoping life wouldn't come to this, but Mike and I can no longer afford to stay in our apartment. So, we will be staying at the cottage for a small rent per month. All told, we will be saving $500-$600 per month. That is good, but it still puts us "in the red" (or "in the black," whichever one means net loss). We will just be losing money and headed towards a big, fat ZERO in less time. I'm thinking I'm going to cancel my health insurance. It's about $50 per month and so far, I haven't needed it. That's a big gamble, but we're poor as fuck. I also want to cancel my phone, but that is impossible because I will need a phone number for job applications. In the same vein, we will have to get the internet hooked up at the cottage because the internet is absolutely essential to both Mike and I's job search.
It does feel embarrassing and like a step backwards to be moving "home." It's like admitting that we got married too young to hack the real world. It would be one thing if I weren't married because I could be living at my parents' house with less worries. But, when we chose the date for the wedding, I was just days past being only halfway done with law school. I never could have predicted at 26 years old, I'd be homeless, pennyless, jobless, and 800 pounds. The 800 pounds comes in from being literally a couch potato. I sit on this couch in the same position for easily 6 hours a day. I've switched the cushions all around, but there's no denying that sitting on this couch for almost a year now (part studying for the bar, part wedding planning, and now part job hunting), I've nearly ruined our dear couch.
Speaking of the furniture, we will be storing it at Erin and Justin's. They were nice enough to offer us their basement, which is awesome because we were going to have to spend $100 per month on storage. Depending on how all of our "stuff" packs up, we may not need storage at all. Like, if most of our "stuff" (books, all kitchen stuff, etc. etc.) fits in the new bins I just purchased, we'll just stack the bins at their house. But, I have a feeling there will be so much random shit that it might just be better to get thye $50 storage unit here and just take the furniture there. The furniture isn't a small load: couch, chair, ottoman, end tables, lamps, tv stand, chest of drawers, dresser, nightstand(s), desk, bookshelf, and dining room table. We sold our table to Ben and Melissa, and Mike's parents' are "giving" us theirs...meaning we can use it now and pay for it when we actually have some money again. Who knows how long that will be!
I'm to the point where I'm thinking I don't want to be an attorney anymore. I mean, here I am, Stephanie Service, Esq., and I'm not sure if it's meant for me. Maybe if I found a job, things would be different. But, I've been starting to apply to non-legal jobs. I applied for secretary jobs with the State. I even applied to be a TSA agent at the GR airport. Hey, a JD can't hurt when trying to get a job, right? Unfortunately, the answer to that is wrong, based on my experience applying to a large handful of bank teller jobs and what other attorneys in my position have been saying online. They think we're overqualified and they won't hire us. What a wonderful position to be in.
Yes, I could "go out on my own." I'd have to drum up a few thousand for malpractice insurance, letterhead, post office box, etc. etc. I would need a more reliable vehicle. The list goes on and on. Not to mention, I am the most cautious person when it comes to work. I don't have what it takes to just pick up a case and know what to do. That's why I need a boss. They can give me assignments and I'll complete them. I think I'd rather not be an attorney than be an attorney who "goes out on their own." The thought of doing that freezes me with panic.
So, it's back to Square One with the job search. Though, as I have pointed out, it's worse than Square One, because I have applied to multiple places who have already told me they aren't hiring. I still say everything happens for a reason. And, my mom told me that my parents would help me financially if I ever got desperate. That isn't something, as a married adult, I want to fall back on. I'm not proud of it and it sets up a weird dynamic. But, at least I know I won't be shivering under the GL bridge come fall. My brother has moved home for the time being, because he got an internship at the Eaton County Police Department. He brought his bed home, so that way there is a queen bed in the green guest room, where he'll be staying, but now there will also be a double bed in the room my mom is going to make her office. They did that for me, since I'll be living at the cottage and may want/need to be home on some nights. I love my family!
So, with the knowledge that I won't be a homeless attorney, sitting in my own stank on a street corner, that does help me move forward because it reminds me that the job situation isn't 100% life or death. I had put all this pressure on myself, like if I don't get a job, I will literally have to sit outside and starve to death. We'd have to sell all of our belongings to try and make it another day. But, if it doesn't have to come to that, maybe I can focus on what's most important, which is keeping my good mental health. I haven't felt suicidal in a couple months, and honestly, once I found out I didn't get this job, I have felt better than ever. That must be a sign that I didn't really what THAT job; I just wanted A job. And that's not the best way to get going in my career.
So, the next two weeks will be spent packing and moving, and I'm not sure how much actual applying I'll get to do, but once I'm at the cottage, I'll go balls to the wall, applying for anything making $40K+. I don't think I'd take anything for much less, because I am worth at least that much as an attorney. I am an attorney!!! Sometimes, the thought of that catches me so off guard it makes me want to laugh. I certainly don't feel like an attorney. I sit around unshowered and in my PJs most days. Who wants to hire someone like THAT?
Stephanie
So, yeah. I didn't get the job. You know, the only job that I have had an interview for? My first interview was February 8th and I didn't find out until the first week of May that it was a no-go. I was supposed to hear back about a week and a half before I did. I called, was told it would be a few more days, and then finally got an email saying they had a hard decision and selected another candidate. I guess I just have to be proud that I got a second interview, considering I have no experience practicing on my own. But, it's hard to think like that. I was basically feel like the job was mine. I thought about buying new clothes for it (I even did buy a 3 undershirts), new shoes, when and where we'd move to, etc. etc. The thing is, I never let myself get optimistic like that. I am usually the pessimist, but Mike kept telling me that he thinks I got it. So, it was a punch in the gut when I got the email that I didn't. I cried that entire day after that.
But, the funniest thing happened. The next day, I woke up and I was reinvigorated on my job search. I think I was in desperation mode for so long, like waiting patiently every day for the call from them, that it really began to feel like if I didn't get the job I was going to die. But, when I didn't die, I was able to accept the fact and move on. I was hoping life wouldn't come to this, but Mike and I can no longer afford to stay in our apartment. So, we will be staying at the cottage for a small rent per month. All told, we will be saving $500-$600 per month. That is good, but it still puts us "in the red" (or "in the black," whichever one means net loss). We will just be losing money and headed towards a big, fat ZERO in less time. I'm thinking I'm going to cancel my health insurance. It's about $50 per month and so far, I haven't needed it. That's a big gamble, but we're poor as fuck. I also want to cancel my phone, but that is impossible because I will need a phone number for job applications. In the same vein, we will have to get the internet hooked up at the cottage because the internet is absolutely essential to both Mike and I's job search.
It does feel embarrassing and like a step backwards to be moving "home." It's like admitting that we got married too young to hack the real world. It would be one thing if I weren't married because I could be living at my parents' house with less worries. But, when we chose the date for the wedding, I was just days past being only halfway done with law school. I never could have predicted at 26 years old, I'd be homeless, pennyless, jobless, and 800 pounds. The 800 pounds comes in from being literally a couch potato. I sit on this couch in the same position for easily 6 hours a day. I've switched the cushions all around, but there's no denying that sitting on this couch for almost a year now (part studying for the bar, part wedding planning, and now part job hunting), I've nearly ruined our dear couch.
Speaking of the furniture, we will be storing it at Erin and Justin's. They were nice enough to offer us their basement, which is awesome because we were going to have to spend $100 per month on storage. Depending on how all of our "stuff" packs up, we may not need storage at all. Like, if most of our "stuff" (books, all kitchen stuff, etc. etc.) fits in the new bins I just purchased, we'll just stack the bins at their house. But, I have a feeling there will be so much random shit that it might just be better to get thye $50 storage unit here and just take the furniture there. The furniture isn't a small load: couch, chair, ottoman, end tables, lamps, tv stand, chest of drawers, dresser, nightstand(s), desk, bookshelf, and dining room table. We sold our table to Ben and Melissa, and Mike's parents' are "giving" us theirs...meaning we can use it now and pay for it when we actually have some money again. Who knows how long that will be!
I'm to the point where I'm thinking I don't want to be an attorney anymore. I mean, here I am, Stephanie Service, Esq., and I'm not sure if it's meant for me. Maybe if I found a job, things would be different. But, I've been starting to apply to non-legal jobs. I applied for secretary jobs with the State. I even applied to be a TSA agent at the GR airport. Hey, a JD can't hurt when trying to get a job, right? Unfortunately, the answer to that is wrong, based on my experience applying to a large handful of bank teller jobs and what other attorneys in my position have been saying online. They think we're overqualified and they won't hire us. What a wonderful position to be in.
Yes, I could "go out on my own." I'd have to drum up a few thousand for malpractice insurance, letterhead, post office box, etc. etc. I would need a more reliable vehicle. The list goes on and on. Not to mention, I am the most cautious person when it comes to work. I don't have what it takes to just pick up a case and know what to do. That's why I need a boss. They can give me assignments and I'll complete them. I think I'd rather not be an attorney than be an attorney who "goes out on their own." The thought of doing that freezes me with panic.
So, it's back to Square One with the job search. Though, as I have pointed out, it's worse than Square One, because I have applied to multiple places who have already told me they aren't hiring. I still say everything happens for a reason. And, my mom told me that my parents would help me financially if I ever got desperate. That isn't something, as a married adult, I want to fall back on. I'm not proud of it and it sets up a weird dynamic. But, at least I know I won't be shivering under the GL bridge come fall. My brother has moved home for the time being, because he got an internship at the Eaton County Police Department. He brought his bed home, so that way there is a queen bed in the green guest room, where he'll be staying, but now there will also be a double bed in the room my mom is going to make her office. They did that for me, since I'll be living at the cottage and may want/need to be home on some nights. I love my family!
So, with the knowledge that I won't be a homeless attorney, sitting in my own stank on a street corner, that does help me move forward because it reminds me that the job situation isn't 100% life or death. I had put all this pressure on myself, like if I don't get a job, I will literally have to sit outside and starve to death. We'd have to sell all of our belongings to try and make it another day. But, if it doesn't have to come to that, maybe I can focus on what's most important, which is keeping my good mental health. I haven't felt suicidal in a couple months, and honestly, once I found out I didn't get this job, I have felt better than ever. That must be a sign that I didn't really what THAT job; I just wanted A job. And that's not the best way to get going in my career.
So, the next two weeks will be spent packing and moving, and I'm not sure how much actual applying I'll get to do, but once I'm at the cottage, I'll go balls to the wall, applying for anything making $40K+. I don't think I'd take anything for much less, because I am worth at least that much as an attorney. I am an attorney!!! Sometimes, the thought of that catches me so off guard it makes me want to laugh. I certainly don't feel like an attorney. I sit around unshowered and in my PJs most days. Who wants to hire someone like THAT?
Stephanie