Don't give up (for rude_not_ginger)

[stardustflying]

"ASTRIIIID!"

It was over, she'd done it. She'd actually done something worthwhile. For him, for all those people on the planet beneath, all six billion of them, because he would save them. This will have been worthwhile, her life well spent and it only took a moment's thought, barely seconds of hesitation before she knew what she had to do

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[rude_not_ginger]

He wasn't a god, no matter how much he wished he could be. What he could do with a God Machine, what he could do with a little more time, a little more effort. He could do so much, but he couldn't save her. He just had to save her and everything would be all right.

He gave up. With a frustrated kick to the machine, he shouted, something about how he could do anything. And he couldn't. He couldn't save her. Oh, Astrid. He couldn't save her.

He turned away, but then she said something. She responded.

"Astrid?" He was right, he could save her! He ran back towards the control box. He didn't want to touch it, he didn't want to ruin what he had.

"Astrid, can you hear me?"

[stardustflying]

"Yes Doctor!" She gasped, panic and desperation in her eyes, her breathing shallow and quick with confused frightened hope.

"I can hear you. I can really hear you!" Astrid's spectral form searched the darkness of wherever she was, wide-eyed elation making her smile and gasp with relief, trying to pinpoint where his voice was coming from. She wasn't falling; she couldn't feel a floor beneath her, but she wasn't falling anymore.

"Where am I? I'm not falling Doctor! Where are you?" She looked right through him then, the blind knowing where to look, but not seeing anything.

[rude_not_ginger]

He could do something. He had to save her. He had to. He grabbed his screwdriver and aimed for the power. He could bring her back. He could save her. He had to save her. He couldn't repair everything, but he could repair this.

"I'm here," he called to her. "Astrid, Astrid! I'm here!"

He mended the wires then spun around. She was so close. Only halfway there, but so close.

[stardustflying]

She was staring at him now, nothing but ecstatic wonderment making her grin. She felt like her face would burst if she smiled any harder.

"You did it! I have no idea what you did, but you did it!"

She looked down at herself, she was here, actually here. Real and alive and...

"Doctor! You're amazing!" She started to run towards him, tears of joy rolling down her cheeks, ready to fling her arms around that brilliant man.

[rude_not_ginger]

He wasn't a God, but he saved her. Four thousand people on the ship dead, but he could save one person. He could save Astrid of Sto. The rescue ship would be here, and they could go down to Earth, hop the TARDIS.

It wasn't possible for him to grin any wider. He did one thing right today. One Christmas where everything didn't go wrong.

He wanted to hug her. Death cheated. They deserved that.

[stardustflying]

There was so much she didn't know. Had he even stopped the ship from crashing? What of the Host? She knew time had passed even if it didn't feel like it had. She'd been falling and then-- well then she was here and so was he, and it was the best moment of her life. No less than sheer relief and unquestionable happiness overwhelmed her as she neared him. So many thoughts rushing through her head, so many questions, but none of them mattered more right now this second than the fact that he'd saved her.

Astrid flung her arms out, ready to embrace him in her excitement and gratitude. Wanting to press herself close to him, to share their joy.

But when her arms wrapped themselves around his neck they didn't stop. The force with which she'd embraced him left her hugging herself... Her arms had passed right through him, no contact... nothing.

It was as if he wasn't really there. No... It was as if she weren't really there. She was so close to him, her upturned cheek should have been touching his, she should have been able to feel

[rude_not_ginger]

Somewhere behind them, he could hear Mr. Copper gasp.

"Partial transmographication. Energy attached to air particles, superinfused to your cerebral cortex."

The Doctor reached his hand up to take hers, but it went through, like she wasn't there. Only lightbeams. Only mostly. He looked back at the machine. It wasn't perfect and, as the light in the center fizzled to nothing, that was all they were getting.

"Oh, Astrid. I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

[stardustflying]

She didn't understand the science babble, not properly, but she got the gist. His hand looked like it was inside hers and her chest constricted, a tightness squeezing in panic as she stared at their intermingled hands in disbelief.

Astrid followed his gaze to the teleport machine, and she watched its final spark die.

"No. Power it up, you can re-charge it, a comm point, another comm point. Re-charge it!"

[rude_not_ginger]

"Astrid, I can't," he said, his voice breaking. "I can't. The wires---they're too damaged. I didn't even think I could get this much of you now. But don't you see? You're still alive. You've got another chance."

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair, she was so close. He knocked something loose, brought her almost there. Now it was too late.

"But it's not---you're not here." That was Mr. Copper, trying to be as helpful as possible.

"No, she won't be," the Doctor said, firmly. "She's traveling with me."

[stardustflying]

Astrid stared at the machine in silent contemplation as she listened to him, biting back any tears that might have been threatening to spill over. She held both her hands up infront of her, inspecting them, flexing them, wiggling her fingers. Were they real? They certainly felt real. She could feel her heart beating, it was thumping as loud as it ever had and she was breathing. Everything about her felt real, alive even. And she did have another chance, he was right. How many people got that?

Until Mr Copper spoke up, she'd barely noticed anyone was there apart from her and the Doctor. Midshipman Frame, Rickston Slade, Mr Copper-- all of them staring at her like she was some kind of ghost, looking like their hearts were in their mouths.

"Really?" she cast the Doctor a questioning glance full of renewed hope, "even like this?"

[rude_not_ginger]

He could get her somewhere, they could use what information the Doctor had left and rebuild her completely. That would work. It had to work. Even if it didn't work, why was it bad? It wasn't bad. She was just safer this way. She could never be hurt out on their adventures.

He could also never hug her again.

Strange, the things you miss the moment you can never do them again.

"Of course," he said, a wide (mostly) real grin spreading across his face. "If you want. Could go right now. Rescue ships are nearly here for this lot."

[stardustflying]

Her own smile was bursting with emotion, a flood of conflicted feelings, joy and grief battling with each other. Her eyes were glazed with sheer emotion, but her face lit up with happiness.

"I'd like that Doctor. I'd like that more than anything."

She wanted to hug him at that moment, but she couldn't. Stricken by an overwhelming sense of loneliness at not being able to, but she wasn't alone. She had him, and whatever the future and the stars held for them.

[rude_not_ginger]

He reached over to the wall and snagged two bracelets, one for himself and one for Astrid. And a third, he tossed over to Mr. Copper.

He held the second over Astrid's hand and held his breath. He could only hope that it would pass to her hand rather than through it.

"Concentrate, see if you can take it," he said to her.

[stardustflying]

At first her fingers slipped right through it, but she wasn't to be beaten. She tried again, giving the bracelet every ounce of her focus. Again they slipped through.

She took a deep breath, mentally berating herself and silently cursing to Vot-- and as she gritted her teeth and grabbed at it, annoyed and frustrated but determined this time, she did it. Her hand made contact and she grinned.

"Piece of cake." She laughed, sliding her wrist into it carefully.

[rude_not_ginger]

There was a chance. If she could...well, there was definitely a chance. This was too exciting. He wouldn't give up on saving her, completely. Properly. How she deserved to be saved.

He grinned, then gave a little wave to the others.

"Merry Christmas!"

And he switched on the transporter.

[stardustflying]

Astrid held her breath as they dematerialised, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. Using the transporter again was risky, what if it lost her completely this time?

As they faded from the Titanic and rematerialised down on Earth again, she was reluctant to open her eyes at first. She peeked out tentatively from one eye, which quickly became two eyes, and in less than a second, there was less peeking and more excited joy.

"I'm here! I'm actually here again! And it's snowing! And this is AMAZING!"

"Wel, I don't think this snow is real Astrid. I think this is the ballast from the Titanic's salvage entering the atmosphere." Mr. Copper chimed in cynically, looking up at the sky.

It didn't matter though, she wasn't listening. She was too busy grinning at the Doctor, and bouncing on an alien planet again, her current state forgotten in her enthusiasm.