(no subject)
Every year for the past five years or so my birthday wish has been to have no debilitating diseases or further complications from diabetes. I got tired of that and wanted to wish for something else this year, so what happens. I go to bed at 163, 20 minutes later I feel odd and think, maybe my blood sugars low but I just took it and it was kinda high. It's fucking 49. How can that happen in 20 minutes? Then at 4 am it's 398, then at 6 am I'm waking up shaking and swaying and it's 29. Next year I'm sticking to my old wish. The funny thing is that usually I'm rendered useless for the first half of my day after ups and downs like that. Today I felt like I had more energy than ever. I actually felt really good, unfortunately it'll all probably accelerate my decline and i'll end up with cognitive deterioration and nueropathy. I really shouldn't subject you guys to all this blood sugar babble. I should just give my endocrinologist a direct link to my lj so he can witness the toll this takes on me. He called me today after looking at my blood sugars that I sent him friggin 2 weeks ago and left a message saying "everything seems fine. sorry it took me so long to get back to you. i think we'll keep you doses the same" ha! i gotta fax him todays numbers and all of last weeks so he can see just how great things are going.
Anyway my birthday was really great aside from the media slamming 9/11 propaganda in everyone's face. I celebrated over the weekend and went out to dinner with Anna at a really good vegetarian place and then we got drunk off of 2 glasses of wine each. I have no tolerance for alcohol whatsoever. I used to be able to drink 5 drinks and not feel a thing. Now after two when I get up I have my "don't look drunk, don't stumble" mantra going through my head. Sunday I went with my parent's to Lauren's restaurant to celebrate with them. Loren is moving to Nicaragua till November, so I won't be seeing her for a while. Everyone is friggin leaving. Whether it be Alaska, California, Brasil, or NIcaragua. I wanna go too. waaah.
I don't know what's different about this year, but I've been making all these resolutions like it's friggin new years. I feel like it's the perfect time to absolve some aspects of my life and character that have been leading me to feelings of hopelessness and angst. God, it sounds like I go around depressed all the time. Really it's not that. I go around indifferent. I want to actually care about things.
Ok well, one of my resolutions is to keep it up with working out, so I'm gonna do that and pray that I don't pass out and die from a low blood sugar.
Anyway my birthday was really great aside from the media slamming 9/11 propaganda in everyone's face. I celebrated over the weekend and went out to dinner with Anna at a really good vegetarian place and then we got drunk off of 2 glasses of wine each. I have no tolerance for alcohol whatsoever. I used to be able to drink 5 drinks and not feel a thing. Now after two when I get up I have my "don't look drunk, don't stumble" mantra going through my head. Sunday I went with my parent's to Lauren's restaurant to celebrate with them. Loren is moving to Nicaragua till November, so I won't be seeing her for a while. Everyone is friggin leaving. Whether it be Alaska, California, Brasil, or NIcaragua. I wanna go too. waaah.
I don't know what's different about this year, but I've been making all these resolutions like it's friggin new years. I feel like it's the perfect time to absolve some aspects of my life and character that have been leading me to feelings of hopelessness and angst. God, it sounds like I go around depressed all the time. Really it's not that. I go around indifferent. I want to actually care about things.
Ok well, one of my resolutions is to keep it up with working out, so I'm gonna do that and pray that I don't pass out and die from a low blood sugar.