How I grew up in the last two months.
I can't believe it's been nearly two months since I've posted here. I may have said this before, but I'm going to be honest, I don't really visit Live Journal as much as I used to. There are so many other sites and things in my life distracting me, and I feel like I have other places to vent and spill my thoughts. But don't feel bad, LJ, you'll always hold a special place in my heart.
So...um, the last couple months have been pretty action packed with good and bad things.
I'll start with the bad...I guess...this requires a cut because it's sort of TMI...So around the end of October/start of November I started to feel sick a lot. I had lower abdominal pain and I felt kind of queasy occasionally. I didn't really think much of it because I thought, "oh, it's that time of the month". Well, after a week or so, I still wasn't feeling good. Plus, I still had what happens during a period happening down there (I'm really sorry, stop reading if it's TMI). I looked up my symptoms online because I was starting to worry and thought that I might have a Urinary Tract Infection. My parents noticed that I was acting kind of weird, so I told my dad one day that I needed to see a doctor. So I went to the immediate care clinic here in town, they ran a test and the doctor came in and told me that it was a UTI. I was half-worried, but mostly relieved because that is treatable. So they put me on an antibiotic for 10 days. After 10 days, I still didn't feel 100 percent. So this time, I called our family doctor and they had me come in for another test. They put me on a 5-day antibiotic while they waited for my test results. They had me call back after a few days to get my results and asked me how I was feeling. I still was no better. So they had me take a CT Scan to see if I had a kidney stone. So I took the CT scan, and they found out within the day that I had an inflamation in my colon. Oh goody. It was called "Diverticulitis", which are little pouches in the intestines, yeah eew! Sorry! So they had me go back to the doctor the next day so the doctor could speak with me further on the matter. He explained what was happening and told me that I had perhaps been a lot sicker than anyone had originally thought. He said that I had toughed it out somehow, because at this time, I didn't really feel ill, I just had some slight pain in my lower abdomen. He also said that the period stuff was a different issue. My mom thinks it's something hormonal. I really hope she's right. He also told me he was going to speak with a surgeon (yikes!) to see if anything needed to be done, but luckily, nothing did. So he put me on TWO antibiotics for the past 10 days that I took simultaneously. I was beginning to feel better, if only a little, now I'm done with that and I still don't feel all that great, so I'm going back to the doctor on Wednesday---tomorrow if I feel really bad. I am hoping and praying that I don't need surgery. That is the last thing I want now with the holidays and everything else going on right now...This has been an absolute nightmare!
The good things have unfortunately mixed with the bad, making life doubly tough. But I've been trying to push through. The good news is, I have a job!
Around the middle of November, I was sitting in my bedroom on my computer, when my mom came through the door holding the phone. "It's for you", she said. At that point, the only people who would be calling me were doctors and possible job offers. I answered the phone and it was one of the Managers on Duty from Barnes & Noble asking me if I was still interested in joining their team! I was shocked, because it had been two weeks since I had my interviews (I interviewed twice, once on Oct 28th, and again on Halloween) Obviously I said yes because that was my main source of stress (finding a job). So I started working there on November 15th. So far I am enjoying it. The only problem is, it has been intertwined with this medical issue I now have (if you read behind the cut). I've been ok, but I really don't want the health issue to affect work. Since I'm seasonal and not an established employee there, I don't want to be taking days off to go to the doctor because I don't want my co workers to know what is going on because it's none of their business. I just want to feel better so I can enjoy my job and the holidays and the people around me.
Also, the day after tomorrow is my 24th birthday. It's crazy that I will be that age. The difference between this year and last year at this time is I actually feel older. This year has changed me a lot, I feel. I'm not trying to be dramatic because I think it really has. I have grown a lot, not just in these past two months, but over the course of this entire year. The thing with my dad being in the hospital gave me more responsibility and dealing with that while I was preparing to graduate from college threw a monkey wrench into the works. But I made it through. Going to Maine was an amazing experience and I will never forget it as long as I live. I feel like I came out of my shell more than I have ever done. I mean, a year ago, if you had told me that next year I'd be dancing around a house in the middle of the Maine wilderness in my Pajamas with my watercolor teacher and a bunch of other students, I would have called you crazy. That trip was about so much more than just painting pictures. Then of course I graduated and one of the greatest struggles (and it is still ongoing) began (finding a job in my field). This summer was one of the worst summers I have had in a while (not including Maine). I have never been more disappointed in my self than I was this past summer. The only person stopping me from doing what I wanted to do was me. I felt like a worthless piece of crap all summer. The shame will be tattooed (not literally) on me forever.
But I don't want to say the year was a bust because it was a learning experience. Like the saying goes "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I won't look back on all these memories fondly, but I will feel like they shaped me into someone slightly stronger than who I was when I was just turning 23.
Also, I plan to have a full 2011 recap around New Years Eve, so hopefully, I won't forget and stay tuned.
So...um, the last couple months have been pretty action packed with good and bad things.
I'll start with the bad...I guess...this requires a cut because it's sort of TMI...So around the end of October/start of November I started to feel sick a lot. I had lower abdominal pain and I felt kind of queasy occasionally. I didn't really think much of it because I thought, "oh, it's that time of the month". Well, after a week or so, I still wasn't feeling good. Plus, I still had what happens during a period happening down there (I'm really sorry, stop reading if it's TMI). I looked up my symptoms online because I was starting to worry and thought that I might have a Urinary Tract Infection. My parents noticed that I was acting kind of weird, so I told my dad one day that I needed to see a doctor. So I went to the immediate care clinic here in town, they ran a test and the doctor came in and told me that it was a UTI. I was half-worried, but mostly relieved because that is treatable. So they put me on an antibiotic for 10 days. After 10 days, I still didn't feel 100 percent. So this time, I called our family doctor and they had me come in for another test. They put me on a 5-day antibiotic while they waited for my test results. They had me call back after a few days to get my results and asked me how I was feeling. I still was no better. So they had me take a CT Scan to see if I had a kidney stone. So I took the CT scan, and they found out within the day that I had an inflamation in my colon. Oh goody. It was called "Diverticulitis", which are little pouches in the intestines, yeah eew! Sorry! So they had me go back to the doctor the next day so the doctor could speak with me further on the matter. He explained what was happening and told me that I had perhaps been a lot sicker than anyone had originally thought. He said that I had toughed it out somehow, because at this time, I didn't really feel ill, I just had some slight pain in my lower abdomen. He also said that the period stuff was a different issue. My mom thinks it's something hormonal. I really hope she's right. He also told me he was going to speak with a surgeon (yikes!) to see if anything needed to be done, but luckily, nothing did. So he put me on TWO antibiotics for the past 10 days that I took simultaneously. I was beginning to feel better, if only a little, now I'm done with that and I still don't feel all that great, so I'm going back to the doctor on Wednesday---tomorrow if I feel really bad. I am hoping and praying that I don't need surgery. That is the last thing I want now with the holidays and everything else going on right now...This has been an absolute nightmare!
The good things have unfortunately mixed with the bad, making life doubly tough. But I've been trying to push through. The good news is, I have a job!
Around the middle of November, I was sitting in my bedroom on my computer, when my mom came through the door holding the phone. "It's for you", she said. At that point, the only people who would be calling me were doctors and possible job offers. I answered the phone and it was one of the Managers on Duty from Barnes & Noble asking me if I was still interested in joining their team! I was shocked, because it had been two weeks since I had my interviews (I interviewed twice, once on Oct 28th, and again on Halloween) Obviously I said yes because that was my main source of stress (finding a job). So I started working there on November 15th. So far I am enjoying it. The only problem is, it has been intertwined with this medical issue I now have (if you read behind the cut). I've been ok, but I really don't want the health issue to affect work. Since I'm seasonal and not an established employee there, I don't want to be taking days off to go to the doctor because I don't want my co workers to know what is going on because it's none of their business. I just want to feel better so I can enjoy my job and the holidays and the people around me.
Also, the day after tomorrow is my 24th birthday. It's crazy that I will be that age. The difference between this year and last year at this time is I actually feel older. This year has changed me a lot, I feel. I'm not trying to be dramatic because I think it really has. I have grown a lot, not just in these past two months, but over the course of this entire year. The thing with my dad being in the hospital gave me more responsibility and dealing with that while I was preparing to graduate from college threw a monkey wrench into the works. But I made it through. Going to Maine was an amazing experience and I will never forget it as long as I live. I feel like I came out of my shell more than I have ever done. I mean, a year ago, if you had told me that next year I'd be dancing around a house in the middle of the Maine wilderness in my Pajamas with my watercolor teacher and a bunch of other students, I would have called you crazy. That trip was about so much more than just painting pictures. Then of course I graduated and one of the greatest struggles (and it is still ongoing) began (finding a job in my field). This summer was one of the worst summers I have had in a while (not including Maine). I have never been more disappointed in my self than I was this past summer. The only person stopping me from doing what I wanted to do was me. I felt like a worthless piece of crap all summer. The shame will be tattooed (not literally) on me forever.
But I don't want to say the year was a bust because it was a learning experience. Like the saying goes "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I won't look back on all these memories fondly, but I will feel like they shaped me into someone slightly stronger than who I was when I was just turning 23.
Also, I plan to have a full 2011 recap around New Years Eve, so hopefully, I won't forget and stay tuned.