(no subject)
So today started out simply enough, was actually having a pretty good day until I woke up from my nap. then IT ALL WENT TO HELL!
1st-My dad is watching nascar, really loud too...woke me up from my nap :(
2nd-Found out that that one of my relatives just died...its so depressing! People say things happen for a reason, but what's the reason behind this? It makes no sense, it's not fair, she didn't deserve to die that young! And it all came out of nowhere, that's what's so bad about it, we had no warning. So now on top of all my finals, which is hard enough, I have to go to her funeral and deal with my fear of death. This is so depressing I don't even want to talk about it anymore...
3rd-Got into a HUGE fight with my parents today. Why do parents always assume the worst? what's wrong with being happy about what I'm doing without my mom thinking I'm gonna take the same path and make the same mistakes as my sis? I know that she really does care for me, but can't she show it any other way other than yelling and screaming? Why the heck doesn't she realize that I am a good kid and she doesn't need to treat me like a complete failure? She has no faith or trust in me, and that is depressing all by itself. I hate being compared to something I'm not-doesn't she notice how everything she says hurts me more than I care to hurt EVER!! she says I don't care, but if I didn't care, then why does she think I cry for hours on end actually thinking that I'm doing something wrong? how freaking twisted is that? I wonder if she ever feels sorry for some of the stuff she says or even notices how it affects me? I swear she is oblivious to all of my feelings and actually likes to make me feel like shit. Can't she see me crying?
4th-I have a final speech due on tuesday morning, and of course, I haven't started yet. I wouldn't even worry about it so much except that is the Final speech and is worth a lof of points. So now I get to stay up really late tonight and try to finish it. The worst part is is that I have to work tomorrow, so no time to work on it! And to top it all off, my parents want me to read the whole damn thing to them so they can decide what's "right" and what's "wrong" with my speech. Can't wait for the yelling match to begin...*sigh*
5th-Parents grounded me from the use of everything! computer, tv, cell phone, hanging out with friends, you name it! They are on a walk right now, that's the only reason I am able to write in this! So I probably won't be updating this ne time soon, at least not for the next week!
6th-To add even more depressing shit, I can't even sleep! It sucks, I'm tiiiiiirrrreeeeddd!!
I swear I am so close to becoming so depressed I'm sick to my stomach! why does everything have to be so complicated?
At least I have a sliver of happiness in this crazy time of mine...thank you for always making me smile and feel good about myself! I'm so glad I met you!
1st-My dad is watching nascar, really loud too...woke me up from my nap :(
2nd-Found out that that one of my relatives just died...its so depressing! People say things happen for a reason, but what's the reason behind this? It makes no sense, it's not fair, she didn't deserve to die that young! And it all came out of nowhere, that's what's so bad about it, we had no warning. So now on top of all my finals, which is hard enough, I have to go to her funeral and deal with my fear of death. This is so depressing I don't even want to talk about it anymore...
3rd-Got into a HUGE fight with my parents today. Why do parents always assume the worst? what's wrong with being happy about what I'm doing without my mom thinking I'm gonna take the same path and make the same mistakes as my sis? I know that she really does care for me, but can't she show it any other way other than yelling and screaming? Why the heck doesn't she realize that I am a good kid and she doesn't need to treat me like a complete failure? She has no faith or trust in me, and that is depressing all by itself. I hate being compared to something I'm not-doesn't she notice how everything she says hurts me more than I care to hurt EVER!! she says I don't care, but if I didn't care, then why does she think I cry for hours on end actually thinking that I'm doing something wrong? how freaking twisted is that? I wonder if she ever feels sorry for some of the stuff she says or even notices how it affects me? I swear she is oblivious to all of my feelings and actually likes to make me feel like shit. Can't she see me crying?
4th-I have a final speech due on tuesday morning, and of course, I haven't started yet. I wouldn't even worry about it so much except that is the Final speech and is worth a lof of points. So now I get to stay up really late tonight and try to finish it. The worst part is is that I have to work tomorrow, so no time to work on it! And to top it all off, my parents want me to read the whole damn thing to them so they can decide what's "right" and what's "wrong" with my speech. Can't wait for the yelling match to begin...*sigh*
5th-Parents grounded me from the use of everything! computer, tv, cell phone, hanging out with friends, you name it! They are on a walk right now, that's the only reason I am able to write in this! So I probably won't be updating this ne time soon, at least not for the next week!
6th-To add even more depressing shit, I can't even sleep! It sucks, I'm tiiiiiirrrreeeeddd!!
I swear I am so close to becoming so depressed I'm sick to my stomach! why does everything have to be so complicated?
At least I have a sliver of happiness in this crazy time of mine...thank you for always making me smile and feel good about myself! I'm so glad I met you!