Up, up and away...away from me
I wish I could slow time or run away, leave it all behind for a day or even an hour. The pressing urge to just curl up and cry keeps gnawing at me, but I can never seem to let the tears flow. Combination of things have been simmering away at the dark recesses of my mind.
Have you ever seen a hero fall? Realize that they were human, fallible just like the rest of us? The ppl that you thought were indestructible, break? It's the most heart wrenching and painful process seeing someone deteriorate. However, perhaps the most terrifying part is knowing that I have to assume the mantle. It's not being responsible that is so terrifying, but the knowledge that one day that they wouldn't be there.
Which leads me to the largest chunk of my internal turmoil, the bf. I want to break up with him. I don't want to deal with liking or loving him, or w/e you want to call this. I hate holding my breathe, waiting for the catch. Honestly, what are the chances that things will work out? 60,000 miles away and no definite ideas/plans on the future. The answers is no I can't just trust him or trust that things will work out for the best. I promised myself that I wouldn't fall for that bullshit love crap, ever.
Have you ever seen a hero fall? Realize that they were human, fallible just like the rest of us? The ppl that you thought were indestructible, break? It's the most heart wrenching and painful process seeing someone deteriorate. However, perhaps the most terrifying part is knowing that I have to assume the mantle. It's not being responsible that is so terrifying, but the knowledge that one day that they wouldn't be there.
Which leads me to the largest chunk of my internal turmoil, the bf. I want to break up with him. I don't want to deal with liking or loving him, or w/e you want to call this. I hate holding my breathe, waiting for the catch. Honestly, what are the chances that things will work out? 60,000 miles away and no definite ideas/plans on the future. The answers is no I can't just trust him or trust that things will work out for the best. I promised myself that I wouldn't fall for that bullshit love crap, ever.