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[stardumbs]

So I am about 27 comments away from hitting 1k with Rachel and I was going to be a good girl and wait, BUT I'M IMPATIENT SO FUCK IT.

ASK A QUESTION it can be anything CFUD related, OOC, IC, First Impressions, Relationship, psychology, thoughts, whatever. i.e. My character's opinion of your character or maybe what you have been wondering about this

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part one ...

[katharon]

So Santana has a lot of deep thoughts on Rachel Berry, that run a lot deeper than Rachel's do (since I think Santana inherently feels a lot of stuff deeper than ... most people, because it gets repressed by her inability to assess what's going on in her head and become self-aware). This isn't to say Rachel, Kurt, or anyone else on the show isn't deep; I'd err more on the side of self-awareness and an understanding of what they need to become self-actualized. Santana is only ... a quarter of the way there with her loving Brittany, and even then, it's not fully understood.

That said, Santana is ridiculous. She doesn't admit she likes things she enjoys because it might make her look bad, but she gets pissed off when things don't go well. She doesn't want to fully sabotage them, which is shown by how long she held on to the "I slept with Finn" fact. As you might recall, that was something meant to come out long before it did. In "Sectionals," she didn't want to admit she liked the club. But she did. The only person to validate her in that moment was Rachel. Now, I don't think Santana gets a lot of legitimate validation outside of Brittany (who loves everyone anyway, so it makes it easier for her to think she isn't special) and maybe her parents. The rest is sought after and power-controlled and honestly, driven by her image, fear (both internal and external), and a need to just be as obnoxious as possible. But Rachel validated her. Prior to that point, Rachel was mostly a joke. Maybe a realistic-about-sex joke, but a joke all the same; Santana helped Quinn bully her and she was unnecessary. In the latter half of season one, Santana is meant to take her down several times and doesn't. Sure, she plants details here and there to get what she wants, but that's because she likes fucking with things. But she doesn't do it to the point of destroying the club. I will put it out there now that she doesn't realize that she does these things. After all, the majority of Santana's explanation for herself is that she's a bitch and she doesn't give a fuck who thinks so.

So, then we have season two, the outing of the Finn thing because honestly, Santana couldn't deal with someone being happy when she was unhappy (this was, in my opinion, a continued downward slope for her after the circumstances of "Duets"), and the midway point between "Duets" and "Sexy." Whether this narrative was intended ... I doubt it, but it helps to make it so Santana works. Either way, Santana meddles to make Rachel unhappy. She focused on Rachel in other episodes, such as "Britney/Brittany" in order to remark upon her clothing attire. Santana hyperfocuses on a lot of people's flaws, but aside from "Born This Way" and rare other moments, Rachel is the main person Santana does this with-and proceeds to expel it.

This is, in my opinion, for a couple of reasons. The first is that Rachel is threatening to her. Rachel also goes for what she wants, but instead of cutting people down or trying to rule things with fear, she doesn't create a system. She just goes for it. She doesn't give a fuck if people are bullying her because she has her dream, her point of self-actualization, and her moment of recognizing other people and seeing when they need validation (see my point above). Rachel is undaunted by a lot of things, and even if she is mostly disliked by a lot of people, it's mostly not entirely because she's a horrible person. This is starkly different from Santana, who is regularly pretty awful to other people in critical, judgmental ways that regularly exercise the various -isms in order to be obnoxiously "truthful."