Answers to important life questions
So tonight was Kate's last night in town. Me and Bern met her at Denny's in a n attempt to pick up some of that late night hilarity, but Bern was tired and didn't say much and it was too early in the evening anyway. But we did have fun and laugh, it just wasn't what some Denny's nights can be. So we were talking about grandparents, and in the coarse of conversation I had an important mystery solved: my grandfather is Rasputin. It answers so much! he's evil, charismatic, and refuses to die when he should. For those of you who have never heard about my grandfather, i am not being an evil person or exaggerating. He really is a truly bad person. so that though was excellent and made me laugh a lot. The other thing that made me laugh tonight was talking about the entirety of Denny's randomly and simultaneously bursting into song. not just any song, the "ma na ma na (do do do do)" song. Then we started talking about all sorts of strange movies we could put that in, like horror slasher films or a Samurai movie.
But other than that i've been very pensive lately. like the other day i was thinking about beauty. especially women and beauty in America. and how its kind of terrible either way. Pretty people are seen as nicer, more successful, happier, etc. Things happen for pretty people that just don't happen for others. But they also have a harder time getting people to see who they really are under their looks. and they are more likely to get sexually harassed, regardless of if they are dressed provocatively or not. and even if they are, that's no reason to get harassed. They also are the subject of hatred or jealousy for something they can't help, which is that the were blessed with appropriate subcutaneous fat distribution, symmetrical features, and pleasing bone structure. They are sometimes assumed to be bitchy or stuck up because people give them more attention. People have told me otherwise, but I really don't think I look any better than average. Maybe 6.5 ish. i don't think I'm ugly, i just don't think I'm pretty either. but while it would be fun to get the self esteem boost of being found attractive, or getting asked out more often, or just getting appreciative looks from random passers-by, I prefer it the way i am. because i know several friends who have been sexually harassed, or even had guys try to rape them, because they were really pretty. and yes it feels nice to feel attractive, but its annoying to always have people ask you out when all you want is to be their friend. My sister gets guys cat-calling at her every time she goes downtown, and has for over a year. she's 16. she always has people tell her she's pretty, and she is. but people forget to tell her she is as funny as people i see doing standup on tv. maybe the stereotype of pretty people being airheads is something we create. maybe they had potential to be much more, but since all anyone acknowledges in them is their looks, thats all they focus on. if i had to choose between my looks and hers, I'd stay where i am. because whatever benefits would not be worth having men twice my age whistle at me crossing the street every day. And it seems like you should be at this perfect middle point, and it doesn't exist. either you're too sexy and "flaunting it" and you're stuck up and you're harassed, or your ugly and invisible and beneath notice. what do you all think? how pretty do you think you are, and do you like it? or for any guys reading this, do you have any opinions on things from more of an outside perspective?
The other day when I was hanging out with Katey I was telling her about my sociology class. i was talking about eye contact, and how apparently from a typical american male's perspective if a girl stranger stares at them too long passing on the street they think she's hitting on them. if a guy does, he's making a challenge. so my response to this was "wow, thats cool! i want to go try it out!...damn, I'm a girl. its no fun to make people think i'm hitting on them, its much more fun to make them think I'm issuing a challenge!" and then we talked about eye contact in general, and how you do it more with friends than strangers, but women do it more than men.And we were talking about personal differences and i couldn't think of how i made i contact. and she said that i make lots of eye contact when I'm first getting to know someone, and once I'm clearly their friend i don't make as much eye contact. and thinking back to whatever conversations my memory could dredge up, i thought that was probably pretty accurate! i also added that i make more eye contact the more serious or intense the discussion topic is. so then i started thinking about that. do i do it because i am earnestly trying to convey something, and eye contact represents honesty? or is it because I'm watching the other persons face to see if they are understanding and agreeing or disagreeing? and do i make more eye contact with new people because they are new and therefore a novelty, and i want to put more attention on them? or is it because I'm trying to get a sense of who they are, and its easier to read peoples body language if you look at their face more? is it because I'm unconsciously trying to follow social norms on eye contact between friends and the increased eye contact is meant as a friendship display? or am I being more careful to follow norms with someone i don't know and relax more into my normal state when i feel more comfortable with them and it is less likely that they will misinterpret that as not paying attention? this may be completely tedious and boring to many of you, but i find it to be fascinating food for thought.
also when i was hanging out with Katey i had an impromptu street race (only for one block, and at night. i try to minimize the danger even when driving irresponsibly) with some guy in a red muscle car who thought he was the shit and probably worked on his car all the time and thought he was a sexy badass. and i totally beat his ass, clearly and fairly. in my tiny little Kia that practically shakes in the wind. it made me feel really awesome, one that i had one and therefore had a bigger penis than him (yes, i am kind of a guy behind the wheel), but that i did so in my crappy little car against a car that was clearly meant for such things, and so the other guy got seriously taken down a peg. i know its really sophomoric of me, but i love things like that.
But other than that i've been very pensive lately. like the other day i was thinking about beauty. especially women and beauty in America. and how its kind of terrible either way. Pretty people are seen as nicer, more successful, happier, etc. Things happen for pretty people that just don't happen for others. But they also have a harder time getting people to see who they really are under their looks. and they are more likely to get sexually harassed, regardless of if they are dressed provocatively or not. and even if they are, that's no reason to get harassed. They also are the subject of hatred or jealousy for something they can't help, which is that the were blessed with appropriate subcutaneous fat distribution, symmetrical features, and pleasing bone structure. They are sometimes assumed to be bitchy or stuck up because people give them more attention. People have told me otherwise, but I really don't think I look any better than average. Maybe 6.5 ish. i don't think I'm ugly, i just don't think I'm pretty either. but while it would be fun to get the self esteem boost of being found attractive, or getting asked out more often, or just getting appreciative looks from random passers-by, I prefer it the way i am. because i know several friends who have been sexually harassed, or even had guys try to rape them, because they were really pretty. and yes it feels nice to feel attractive, but its annoying to always have people ask you out when all you want is to be their friend. My sister gets guys cat-calling at her every time she goes downtown, and has for over a year. she's 16. she always has people tell her she's pretty, and she is. but people forget to tell her she is as funny as people i see doing standup on tv. maybe the stereotype of pretty people being airheads is something we create. maybe they had potential to be much more, but since all anyone acknowledges in them is their looks, thats all they focus on. if i had to choose between my looks and hers, I'd stay where i am. because whatever benefits would not be worth having men twice my age whistle at me crossing the street every day. And it seems like you should be at this perfect middle point, and it doesn't exist. either you're too sexy and "flaunting it" and you're stuck up and you're harassed, or your ugly and invisible and beneath notice. what do you all think? how pretty do you think you are, and do you like it? or for any guys reading this, do you have any opinions on things from more of an outside perspective?
The other day when I was hanging out with Katey I was telling her about my sociology class. i was talking about eye contact, and how apparently from a typical american male's perspective if a girl stranger stares at them too long passing on the street they think she's hitting on them. if a guy does, he's making a challenge. so my response to this was "wow, thats cool! i want to go try it out!...damn, I'm a girl. its no fun to make people think i'm hitting on them, its much more fun to make them think I'm issuing a challenge!" and then we talked about eye contact in general, and how you do it more with friends than strangers, but women do it more than men.And we were talking about personal differences and i couldn't think of how i made i contact. and she said that i make lots of eye contact when I'm first getting to know someone, and once I'm clearly their friend i don't make as much eye contact. and thinking back to whatever conversations my memory could dredge up, i thought that was probably pretty accurate! i also added that i make more eye contact the more serious or intense the discussion topic is. so then i started thinking about that. do i do it because i am earnestly trying to convey something, and eye contact represents honesty? or is it because I'm watching the other persons face to see if they are understanding and agreeing or disagreeing? and do i make more eye contact with new people because they are new and therefore a novelty, and i want to put more attention on them? or is it because I'm trying to get a sense of who they are, and its easier to read peoples body language if you look at their face more? is it because I'm unconsciously trying to follow social norms on eye contact between friends and the increased eye contact is meant as a friendship display? or am I being more careful to follow norms with someone i don't know and relax more into my normal state when i feel more comfortable with them and it is less likely that they will misinterpret that as not paying attention? this may be completely tedious and boring to many of you, but i find it to be fascinating food for thought.
also when i was hanging out with Katey i had an impromptu street race (only for one block, and at night. i try to minimize the danger even when driving irresponsibly) with some guy in a red muscle car who thought he was the shit and probably worked on his car all the time and thought he was a sexy badass. and i totally beat his ass, clearly and fairly. in my tiny little Kia that practically shakes in the wind. it made me feel really awesome, one that i had one and therefore had a bigger penis than him (yes, i am kind of a guy behind the wheel), but that i did so in my crappy little car against a car that was clearly meant for such things, and so the other guy got seriously taken down a peg. i know its really sophomoric of me, but i love things like that.