(no subject)

Nov 19, 2004 08:24

Hey...I haven't updated in a while! Woo. So, got halo 2, beat it, liked it. Got half-life 2, beat it, liked it (a lot). Tuesday I’ll get World Of warcraft, which I can't really beat but I already know I like. Definitely not at all bored after only 3 weeks of beta, so should be good. That's 3 games in 3 weeks! Lucky for me there's nothing else coming out soon that I just have to have.

Mom got a new BMW 330XI, so it's the same engine as her old one, but a smaller car with all wheel drive, and it's a much better color. She had this meeting next door to the dealership right after she picked up the car so...I got to drive it home all lone! I love that car. It's so nice, even its sound system is awesome, with the stock stuff kicking ass.

Anyway I normally wouldn't be up this early, but various events conspired to wake me up before I should have been. Ah well. Let me leave you all with this amusing story someone posted on the WoW forums:

I was flipping through the channels and just caught the middle of a report. I'm typing down everything for you guys to read if you missed it.

[Newslady and Newsguy are at a desk]

Newslady: "Just an hour ago the FBI held a press conference to announce that they had finally found a suspect in the infamous genocidal murder of all MMORPGs which took place several months ago. They believe that World of Warcraft is to blame. Our reporters attempted to speak with Mr. Warcraft, but his lawyer has prohibited his client from giving comment. We turn now live to Joseph Stephenson, the head of the FBI investigate unit in the case."

[Camera shows a guy in a suit standing behind a press booth, where he seems to be in the middle of answering questions]

Special Agent Stephenson: "Yes, we believe we have found enough evidence to put the suspect on trial. As you all know, several MMORPGs have gone missing ever since Mr. Warcraft established the conglomerate corporation, B.E.T.A, and many of their bodies have been turning up all across the US. Since then, we have discovered incriminating evidence which links Mr. Warcraft to nearly all of the disappearances. That is all. Thank you for your time, there will be no more questions."

[Camera goes back to the initial newslady]

Newslady: "I'm glad they've finally found someone who could be responsible for this atrocity."
Newsguy: "Yes, it's truly awful what some people are capable of. Our field reporter, David Marx, had a chance to speak with the families of one of the victims who, the FBI says, very well may still be alive."

[Camera goes to the outside of an elaborate mansion where the reporter stands next to a woman holding a young baby while a slightly older child, possibly 8 years old, is standing at her side]

David: "This is David Marx at the legendary Fantasy estate. I stand here with Trisha Fantasy and her two children. Tell me, Mrs. Fantasy, how has your family been coping with the disappearance of your husband, Final Fantasy the 11th?"
Trisha (tearey-eyed): "It's been really hard for us all. All we can do is pray that he's OK."
[Trisha's 8-year-old child, little Final Fantasy the 12th tugs on his mother's dress]
Little Fantasy the 12th: "Mommy, when is Daddy coming home? I miss him."
Trisha: "I don't know, baby. I don't know."
David: "You and your family has our sympathy, Mrs. Fantasy. (faces the camera) Truly a heart-breaking scene at the Fantasy estate. Back to you."

[camera returns to news studio]

Newslady (seems to be on the verge of tears): "Our prayers are with the Fantasy family, as well as the families of all other victims."
Newsguy (his hand goes to his ear, and he seems to be horrified by what he's hearing): "This just in, we have received late-breaking news about another murder. The fourth body has just been discovered. It seems a newspaper delivery boy stumbled across the dead body of Everquest just moments ago. Details are sketchy, but our reports claim that the enigmatic phrase "ZUB ZUB" was written across the walls in blood. More on this story as the news develops."

[update]
Did anybody catch that news flash?

Newsguy: "Dramatic progress in the Warcraft case has taken place. In the opening hearing, New York judge Christopher O'Neal has concluded that sufficient evidence exists to put Mr. Warcraft on trial. The trial is scheduled to take place next week. Mr. Warcraft's bail fee has been set at a staggering 10 million gold. Shockingly, all across America, sympathetic online players have been sending money to contribute to his bail. For the first time in history, the Secretary of Treasury has been forced to determine the proper conversion rates of Platinum and Gil to Gold. Yes, you heard correctly. Followers of other the murdered MMORPGs have been supporting Mr. Warcraft. The Secretary of Treasury has a difficult task before him, as the fluctuating economies for each currency makes a stable conversion rate nearly impossible. Kim?"
That Newslady, Kim: "Protesters have gathered to demonstrate their outrage against the imprisonment of Mr. Warcraft. They claim that the elimination was not Mr. Warcraft's fault, but the fault of the victims themselves. We interviewed some of the protestors.
[One of those tv squares appears next to her head and shows a huge shouting crowd with signs. A reporter interviews a teenage boy]
Teenager: "Dude, those other dudes, like, did it to themselves, ya know? They made it so friggin hard to make money and they leveled up so [bleep] slow that Warcraft [bleep]in' BLEW by them, man. It was like, like, puttin' a gimpy level 5 dwarf mage up against a friggin' uberfied level 60 Death Conquerer with all 15 pieces of the Epic God gear! WOOOO!!! Free Warcraft! Free Warcraft!"
[Back at the news studio]
Newsguy: "Our studio has been receiving a flood of email since our last story. One such email reads, 'Omg u nubs y r u putt1n t3h m4n d0wn?!!!11! h3 fsck1ng pwnzd th053 l053r f4gz!' In an unexpected twist, this trial will truly prove to be one of the most prominent ones of the century. Are Mr. Warcraft's actions forgivable? The murder of a dozen MMORPGs, justified? The majority of America says 'Y3sz0rz.'"

Good times.
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