Go Away
Wow, it's crazy tonight! Where are all these people coming from? I didn't expect to have this many reservations halfway through November. This time last year, it was dead and I could go hours without seeing a single walk-in. My town is getting busier and busier with all the contractors coming in.
So in light of this chaos, I'd like to give my customers a few reminders:
-When I ask you how you want to pay for your room, don't say "Credit card" and then stare at me expectantly without making a move toward your wallet. Give me the damn card.
-Don't get pissed when you call up asking for six rooms and I tell you we're sold out. You should have been more prepared. Who the hell travels cross-country with 18 people and doesn't bother to book ahead of time? Have fun sleeping in your van.
-Tell me what date you want to book for when you call to see if we have rooms available. Don't huff and say "No, it's for December 18th" when I ask if this is for tonight. I am not a mind-reader.
-I don't appreciate hearing "Fuck you" and being hung up on when I tell you our rates.
-Yes, I need your name if you're making a reservation. This is really just common sense. (At least this lady was nice; it was just a 'wtf' moment.)
-For the love of God, if you keep calling me and getting disconnected, wait until you're out of the damn canyon.
-Don't hand me your garbage when you're checking in. There's a trash can five feet behind you. Stop being lazy.
-A credit card is not a Frisbee. I repeat, it is NOT a Frisbee. If you throw your card at me and it lands on the floor by my feet, I might just make you climb over the counter and retrieve it yourself.
-Don't go under the caution tape, damn it. It is there for a reason. We're renovating part of the lobby and we really don't want to get sued when you trip over the stacks of tile.
-It's really rude to say "What could be going on in THIS town?" when I tell you we only have a few rooms left. You may not like this small city, but keep your thoughts to yourself. This is my home.
-It's in your best interest to be nice to me when we're the only hotel in town with vacant rooms. If you come in with an attitude, we will suddenly become 'sold out.'
-The appropriate response to "Would you like one or two keys for your room?" is not "Yes."
-I know it sucks that we don't have trailer parking. Please, PLEASE tell me when you make your reservation that you have a 25-foot moving truck with a car attached to it. I may recommend a hotel with better accomodations. Don't come to my desk to check in and then throw a fit when we don't have a spot for your giant vehicle.
I think I'm just irritable lately. Maybe I'd feel better if I could get more than four hours of sleep a night. Ugh.