More Ranting...
-For the love of God, know how long you want to stay when you check in. Don't stand at my counter and argue back and forth.
-If I ask if you have any pets, don't say "Just my wife." I've heard it a hundred times. It's not funny.
-If you're going to sneak a pet in so you don't have to pay the fee, don't call me down to your room to fix your TV remote!
-Don't throw a fit when I won't let you use somebody else's credit card. How do I know you didn't steal it?
-Stop asking me "So are you going to be here in the morning to cook us steak and eggs?" Again, not funny. You get cereal and muffins for breakfast, that's it.
-LISTEN. If I tell you your room is 216 and direct you to the stairs, don't say, "So is that on the first floor?"
-If you have a ton of luggage, are elderly, or have some kind of disability/knee trouble/whatever, I will be happy to give you a first floor room. Otherwise, you can haul your ass up the stairs. We only have two floors; deal with it. No, the maintenance room closet is not an elevator. Seriously?!
-If you're going to have explosive diarrhea in the lobby bathroom, can you at least flush the toilet?
-The luggage cart is not a toy. It is NOT A TOY. Stop riding it around the parking lot. I understand kids trying this but you are 30 years old. Grow up.
-Where the hell did you learn how to park? We have a small lot and you're taking up two spaces. Have some consideration for once.
-If you come up to my desk and ask "So where can I find some women?", I'm going to direct you to the brothels downtown just to be a smartass.
-When I ask you "How would you like to pay for this?" don't say "Actually, I'd like it for free." It's not going to happen.
-No, we don't give a discount for Walmart/Home Depot/UPS workers. Why would we? Would I go to Walmart and ask "Do I get a discount on my groceries because I work in a hotel?"
-A silly pet peeve: If I give you our prices and you say "Is that the Triple A rate?", I'm going be fighting back a sarcastic remark. No, it's our regular rate. How am I supposed to know you have Triple A if you don't tell me? Also, when I ask for your membership card, don't snap at me, "No one EVER asks for that." What, so hotels were just taking your word for it before? I don't do that.
-A more serious one: don't ever come in and make racist remarks about the Indians (who are really nice people; I especially adore their little daughter) who own this hotel. I will kick your ass out.
Ugh. I'm almost done for the night. Then I have two days off! I won't want to come back.