Last Day!!!
More pet peeves! Because I haven't made enough of these lists:
-When I tell you "All I have left are rooms with two queen beds, nonsmoking, and the price is $94.99," do NOT fucking ask me "You don't have any kings?"
-When you call to make a reservation and I ask "May I get your name please, last name first?" do NOT say "Mary Lou." LISTEN, damn it.
-When you make a reservation and I ask you for a credit card number to hold the room, do not say "My credit card? Really?" and then spend ten minutes rummaging through your bag. Have you never stayed in a hotel before? BE PREPARED when you call me.
-Also, I have no idea why it surprises people so much when they walk in wanting a room and I ask for their ID. Again, have they never stayed in a hotel before?
-If I give you our prices and you can't decide whether you want the room or not, HANG UP and call me back. Do not make me wait on the phone while you hem and haw and ask your buddies "What do you think?" I have other customers in my line, you know.
-Yet another tired joke: if you have a dog and I ask you how many keys you'd like for the room, don't say "Just one; she isn't smart enough to open doors yet, ha ha!"
-Don't throw a fit when I tell you we're sold out for a major event next week. I cannot pull rooms out of my ass.
-Why doesn't anybody ever remember their own phone numbers? Oh, right, because "I don't call myself, ha ha!"
-Freakin' Canadian postal codes. Do you know how annoying it is to type N8X 4J8?
-When the cable goes out, it's usually because there's an outage in town. It is not my damn fault, and no, you are not getting a discount.
-When I check you in and ask for ID, don't hand me your credit card and then stare into space. Give me your fucking driver's license.
-When you ask about a military discount and I tell you "No, I'm sorry, this is our best rate for tonight," do NOT ask "Well, how about Triple A or AARP?"
-To the drunk dude that dropped off his dry cleaning with me and then passed my desk three times to ask "Do you think 30 bucks will be enough?" You're annoying me. Go away.
-God damn it, LISTEN. I just had this conversation with a guy:
Me: You're in 212, and the stairs are through that middle hallway.
Idiot: The elevator's down that way?
Me: No, we just have stairs, through THAT HALL.
Idiot: Okay, so the elevator is next to the staircase?
Me: *Pulls out taser and shocks the hell out of him*
(Oh wait, that last part was only a fantasy.)
Things that are on my shit list right now:
-This stupid fucking pen. Every time I try to write a room number on a keycard envelope, I have to scribble on a sheet of paper to get the ink to come out.
-The key making machine. Encoding error. Encoding error. Encoding Error. Insert Key Faster. Encoding Error.
-This damn phone. It rings; I pick it up and get silence. 3 or 4 times a day. Do we have a ghost? I don't have time for this shit.
I think I need some Valium.