Target Practise [March 17th] [S80] [Reborn!]
Title :: Target Practise
Prompt :: March 17th, “lay awake in lust and rust in the rain” [31_days]
Pairing :: S80
Rating :: PG-13
Wordcount :: 515
Summary :: It was not particularly unusual for Superbi Squalo to miss calls.
It was not particularly unusual for Superbi Squalo to miss calls.
His phones had been broken more times than he could count. (Having them doused in alcohol would do that, he’d found - and it wasn’t like it was his fault he had to yell so loudly to be heard over the damned things, what with the way he could never quite figure out how to turn the volume to anything below maximum. Xanxus could have stood to be a little more understanding.) He had lost even more - oftentimes within his own hair, only to randomly fall out later and then break against the floor.
And even when he did have a functional phone handy, he usually couldn’t hear it ring, not over all the yells and screams.
So, when Squalo finally bothered to check it one night before heading to bed, he was not at all surprised to see a total of thirty missed calls.
Except -
Except.
“VOOOIIIIIIIIII, RAIN BRAT!” Squalo shouted, and raised his voice when there was no immediate response. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME THIRTY TIMES IN A FUCKIN’ ROOOOW?”
It was at this point Squalo realised he had not yet returned any of said calls, and that, therefore, aforementioned Rain Brat would not actually be able to hear him or respond.
He jabbed angrily at his keypad with a metal finger, until there was suddenly loud laughter in his ear in lieu of a proper greeting. (Not that Squalo was in any position to complain about phone manners himself, but he never let minor details like that stop him.)
“Hahaha, Squalo? It’s three am, haha! What do you want?”
Squalo wondered if the brat could hear the veins in his temples twitching.
“VOIIII, WHAT DO I WANT? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT CALLED ME THIRTY FUCKIN’ TI-”
“Oh, right, haha!” Yamamoto’s laugh was now somewhat more sheepish than sleepy, if no less cheerful. “That! I just wanted to ask you out, haha!”
And Squalo was actually stricken silent.
But then, it wasn’t as though Yamamoto noticed.
“I thought we could go play baseball or something, haha, and I bet you’ve got really good aim and awesome control from all that sword practise and stuff-”
“VOOOIIIIIII, BRAT, I’M NOT PLAYIN’ YOUR FUCKIN’ GAAAMES.”
“Haha, but why not?” Yamamoto asked reasonably. “I mean, we even met playing that mafia game, after all!”
Squalo wasn’t even entirely sure what he shouted back in response, but he figured it probably sounded profane enough to at least get his point across.
It did not, however, quite manage to drown out the laughter on the other end of the line.
“Okay, okay! I get it, Squalo! The weather report must’ve called for rain, and I bet you wouldn’t want to play ball in that and risk getting your hand all rusted!”
There was a pause.
“Haha, hey! Why don’t you just ask that friend of yours with all the umbrellas to come next time? The more the merrier!”
And instead, Squalo simply lost yet another phone by pitching this one directly at the wall.
Prompt :: March 17th, “lay awake in lust and rust in the rain” [31_days]
Pairing :: S80
Rating :: PG-13
Wordcount :: 515
Summary :: It was not particularly unusual for Superbi Squalo to miss calls.
It was not particularly unusual for Superbi Squalo to miss calls.
His phones had been broken more times than he could count. (Having them doused in alcohol would do that, he’d found - and it wasn’t like it was his fault he had to yell so loudly to be heard over the damned things, what with the way he could never quite figure out how to turn the volume to anything below maximum. Xanxus could have stood to be a little more understanding.) He had lost even more - oftentimes within his own hair, only to randomly fall out later and then break against the floor.
And even when he did have a functional phone handy, he usually couldn’t hear it ring, not over all the yells and screams.
So, when Squalo finally bothered to check it one night before heading to bed, he was not at all surprised to see a total of thirty missed calls.
Except -
Except.
“VOOOIIIIIIIIII, RAIN BRAT!” Squalo shouted, and raised his voice when there was no immediate response. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME THIRTY TIMES IN A FUCKIN’ ROOOOW?”
It was at this point Squalo realised he had not yet returned any of said calls, and that, therefore, aforementioned Rain Brat would not actually be able to hear him or respond.
He jabbed angrily at his keypad with a metal finger, until there was suddenly loud laughter in his ear in lieu of a proper greeting. (Not that Squalo was in any position to complain about phone manners himself, but he never let minor details like that stop him.)
“Hahaha, Squalo? It’s three am, haha! What do you want?”
Squalo wondered if the brat could hear the veins in his temples twitching.
“VOIIII, WHAT DO I WANT? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT CALLED ME THIRTY FUCKIN’ TI-”
“Oh, right, haha!” Yamamoto’s laugh was now somewhat more sheepish than sleepy, if no less cheerful. “That! I just wanted to ask you out, haha!”
And Squalo was actually stricken silent.
But then, it wasn’t as though Yamamoto noticed.
“I thought we could go play baseball or something, haha, and I bet you’ve got really good aim and awesome control from all that sword practise and stuff-”
“VOOOIIIIIII, BRAT, I’M NOT PLAYIN’ YOUR FUCKIN’ GAAAMES.”
“Haha, but why not?” Yamamoto asked reasonably. “I mean, we even met playing that mafia game, after all!”
Squalo wasn’t even entirely sure what he shouted back in response, but he figured it probably sounded profane enough to at least get his point across.
It did not, however, quite manage to drown out the laughter on the other end of the line.
“Okay, okay! I get it, Squalo! The weather report must’ve called for rain, and I bet you wouldn’t want to play ball in that and risk getting your hand all rusted!”
There was a pause.
“Haha, hey! Why don’t you just ask that friend of yours with all the umbrellas to come next time? The more the merrier!”
And instead, Squalo simply lost yet another phone by pitching this one directly at the wall.