Growing a Pair [Challenge 13, Bonus Ingredient 12] [Ichigo, Kon] [Bleach]
Title: Growing a Pair
Prompt: Challenge #13, "Escape" & Bonus Ingredient #12, "Childhood" [fanfic_bakeoff], for Team Pie
Fandom: Bleach
Wordcount: 245
Characters: Ichigo, Kon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "DAMMIT, I WANT YOUR BODY!"
Warnings: Crack. And boobs. Basically, Bleach.
"DAMMIT, I WANT YOUR BODY!"
Dimly, with what was left of his hearing after the deranged plushie's sudden roar, Ichigo heard his father downstairs in the kitchen, hooting in enthusiastic response. He thought briefly of diving into the closet to escape all of the noise (the sheer irony of this desire utterly lost on him), but then realised that if all of the fucking racket hadn't already woken Rukia up, his diving atop her almost assuredly would.
And the very last thing he needed right now was a series of childish diagrams, all cutely depicting how very very unfair it was that poor Kon was stuck in his furry little lion skin.
"No!" Ichigo shouted, waving a threatening fist in the plushie's general direction. "You can get inside of me when I need you, but not before!"
(In the distance, Isshin hooted again.)
"But Ichigo! Think of the boobs!"
"I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT BOOBS!"
(There came a crash sounding suspiciously like dishes clattering to the tile floor.)
"And I do!" Kon wailed back. "That's why I deserve to have the hands!"
"IF YOU WANT BOOBS SO BADLY, THEN I'LL GET ISHIDA TO FUCKING SEW YOU A PAIR."
Kon immediately quieted, smoothing his paws over the pretty princess dress that Yuzu had so thoughtfully supplied, and Ichigo found himself suddenly terrified that for once, he may have actually had a good idea.
Prompt: Challenge #13, "Escape" & Bonus Ingredient #12, "Childhood" [fanfic_bakeoff], for Team Pie
Fandom: Bleach
Wordcount: 245
Characters: Ichigo, Kon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "DAMMIT, I WANT YOUR BODY!"
Warnings: Crack. And boobs. Basically, Bleach.
"DAMMIT, I WANT YOUR BODY!"
Dimly, with what was left of his hearing after the deranged plushie's sudden roar, Ichigo heard his father downstairs in the kitchen, hooting in enthusiastic response. He thought briefly of diving into the closet to escape all of the noise (the sheer irony of this desire utterly lost on him), but then realised that if all of the fucking racket hadn't already woken Rukia up, his diving atop her almost assuredly would.
And the very last thing he needed right now was a series of childish diagrams, all cutely depicting how very very unfair it was that poor Kon was stuck in his furry little lion skin.
"No!" Ichigo shouted, waving a threatening fist in the plushie's general direction. "You can get inside of me when I need you, but not before!"
(In the distance, Isshin hooted again.)
"But Ichigo! Think of the boobs!"
"I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT BOOBS!"
(There came a crash sounding suspiciously like dishes clattering to the tile floor.)
"And I do!" Kon wailed back. "That's why I deserve to have the hands!"
"IF YOU WANT BOOBS SO BADLY, THEN I'LL GET ISHIDA TO FUCKING SEW YOU A PAIR."
Kon immediately quieted, smoothing his paws over the pretty princess dress that Yuzu had so thoughtfully supplied, and Ichigo found himself suddenly terrified that for once, he may have actually had a good idea.