Life will go on without the donkey
Yesterday I fell in love. Or so I thought.
But get this - - -my smooth, sexy loverboy was grey haired, and a tad overweight. No, I mean he really was. Here's my confession on the rather enlightening ordeal:
My family spent the day at a theme park, exerting our inner-children. After a stream of roller-coasters, cheesy rides, and a chair lift we we're ready to blow our money on the next-to-impossible games. I scanned the cash-gobbling candidates for a game I might just get lucky with in under fourteen bucks. My findings were disappointing.
Basketball Free Throw: The ball is obviously not filled with air and the back board is spring. On another note, I'm really not the best at the game as is.
Ring Toss: Oh my gosh. Please, who really ever wins this classic scam?
No-Miss Pool: I'm not a bad shooter, but the odds were seriously against me in this one. A last resort, possibly.
Strong Man Hammer Slam: After watching a stream of football-appropriate men lose, I'd say my chances are - - -how you say, tres` sucky.
So it's looking pretty scummy, when I check the game set up in the middle of the ringtoss/basketball/pool plaza and see him. A grey, personable, and sadly goatee'd (Those just really don't work for most people. Shave it off to be safe.) likeness of Donkey. From Shrek.
Fooled you, no?
So it was love at first sight - - -I really couldn't picture this giant stuffed animal in my room now that I think about it, but it was A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. I can't even summarize my excitement at seeing the prize. I lean over the counter, ready to pay my dues and give the SUPER difficult ball toss a try in pure hope that after fifty or so balls I'll get a big prize. The guy ready to take my money had a dreamy, but almost incoherent foreign accent, and I so wanted to hear him talk again so I asked,
"Hmm. . . whatever would I have to do to win the Donkey?"
Smooth, I know.
He replies,
"Donkey? No Donkey."
Excuse me?
"No Donkey."
Well, hello, what's that up there?
"Display. Me have no donkey prize left."
Ouch. Talk about badly served heartbreak. Make that badly served heartbreak on a dirty platter. I promptly snatch my money, tell him thank you and drag my family off to more rides. Hours later, I still feel my lower lip is in pouting position as I stand in a heniously long roller coaster line. It's about an hour before the park closes, so this is about it. Luckily, it's my favorite coaster and a prescription of daring loops and corkscrews should make my mood disappear. So we get on the ride, and surprisingly, I do have a change of heart ---just not as I anticipated.
I'm at the top of the first and, of course, largest drop and we are sitting in the middle front - - -right where the coaster stops at the top before the weight of the rest of the coaster drags it down and I look at the park and think:
Geez, why on earth am I pouting. This has been a most fabulous and exciting day. And then it comes to me.
Holy cow. Life will go on without the freaking' Donkey. That's about as far as I got at that particular moment because I had to start screaming and raising my arms, but later that night as I lay in bed, I thought more on the subject.
Here's my final deduction. Life will go on without the donkey - - -without the things you seriously want and don't seem to have. I mean, you can have a fabulous and amazingly enriching life without Britney Spear's nose or abs. Or a perfect boyfriend. . .or any boyfriend at all. Get satisfied with what you can get and have and are. And come on, admit it, is the lack of those shoes you want really going to kill you? I think not. Unless of course they are these:
Leather Kitten Mules circa 1950, mmmm. I have an arguably healthy obsession with pearls. On a note, if you like this vintage stuff, check out k8tykat.
But anyway - - -get this - - -I love these shoes, but they've been sold already. Now I could whine and snivel and tell everyone that I'm going to absolutely hate my summer wardrobe without these mules ---but instead I'm just going to move on and keep happy.
It's about time.
But get this - - -my smooth, sexy loverboy was grey haired, and a tad overweight. No, I mean he really was. Here's my confession on the rather enlightening ordeal:
My family spent the day at a theme park, exerting our inner-children. After a stream of roller-coasters, cheesy rides, and a chair lift we we're ready to blow our money on the next-to-impossible games. I scanned the cash-gobbling candidates for a game I might just get lucky with in under fourteen bucks. My findings were disappointing.
Basketball Free Throw: The ball is obviously not filled with air and the back board is spring. On another note, I'm really not the best at the game as is.
Ring Toss: Oh my gosh. Please, who really ever wins this classic scam?
No-Miss Pool: I'm not a bad shooter, but the odds were seriously against me in this one. A last resort, possibly.
Strong Man Hammer Slam: After watching a stream of football-appropriate men lose, I'd say my chances are - - -how you say, tres` sucky.
So it's looking pretty scummy, when I check the game set up in the middle of the ringtoss/basketball/pool plaza and see him. A grey, personable, and sadly goatee'd (Those just really don't work for most people. Shave it off to be safe.) likeness of Donkey. From Shrek.
Fooled you, no?
So it was love at first sight - - -I really couldn't picture this giant stuffed animal in my room now that I think about it, but it was A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. I can't even summarize my excitement at seeing the prize. I lean over the counter, ready to pay my dues and give the SUPER difficult ball toss a try in pure hope that after fifty or so balls I'll get a big prize. The guy ready to take my money had a dreamy, but almost incoherent foreign accent, and I so wanted to hear him talk again so I asked,
"Hmm. . . whatever would I have to do to win the Donkey?"
Smooth, I know.
He replies,
"Donkey? No Donkey."
Excuse me?
"No Donkey."
Well, hello, what's that up there?
"Display. Me have no donkey prize left."
Ouch. Talk about badly served heartbreak. Make that badly served heartbreak on a dirty platter. I promptly snatch my money, tell him thank you and drag my family off to more rides. Hours later, I still feel my lower lip is in pouting position as I stand in a heniously long roller coaster line. It's about an hour before the park closes, so this is about it. Luckily, it's my favorite coaster and a prescription of daring loops and corkscrews should make my mood disappear. So we get on the ride, and surprisingly, I do have a change of heart ---just not as I anticipated.
I'm at the top of the first and, of course, largest drop and we are sitting in the middle front - - -right where the coaster stops at the top before the weight of the rest of the coaster drags it down and I look at the park and think:
Geez, why on earth am I pouting. This has been a most fabulous and exciting day. And then it comes to me.
Holy cow. Life will go on without the freaking' Donkey. That's about as far as I got at that particular moment because I had to start screaming and raising my arms, but later that night as I lay in bed, I thought more on the subject.
Here's my final deduction. Life will go on without the donkey - - -without the things you seriously want and don't seem to have. I mean, you can have a fabulous and amazingly enriching life without Britney Spear's nose or abs. Or a perfect boyfriend. . .or any boyfriend at all. Get satisfied with what you can get and have and are. And come on, admit it, is the lack of those shoes you want really going to kill you? I think not. Unless of course they are these:
Leather Kitten Mules circa 1950, mmmm. I have an arguably healthy obsession with pearls. On a note, if you like this vintage stuff, check out k8tykat.
But anyway - - -get this - - -I love these shoes, but they've been sold already. Now I could whine and snivel and tell everyone that I'm going to absolutely hate my summer wardrobe without these mules ---but instead I'm just going to move on and keep happy.
It's about time.