Wow It still Works
Well I found my Old Journal, This is a trip I am now 23 I think the last time I posted on this way prob about 4 years ago or even longer. things have been crazy for quite a while, I met this guy named robert on the internet and I have lived with him for about 3 years, we lived on this farm in Mcminnville now we just recently moved back to portland. He is totally the most strangest person I have ever known, he is also abusive and I honestly hate being in a relationship at this moment, it seems everytime I try to drink and relax or really do anything for that matter I am Beat down. I have turned to drinking as my crutch but it only seems to cause more arguements because once I drink I finally Express how i feel. which I am the kind of person that really Holds things inside and when I drink it seems to come out. I have a lot of pain and just to vent on here really helps I really feel lost and that I have no one To trust really. I really just wish I could find a girlfriend and Move on from this pain. I really just hope most of the time that i will take too many pills or just drink one too many beers and I will finally die. But it never seems to happen it really sucks.. the other night my Traitor boyfriend turned me in for drinking and I got sent to HOOPER detox. that was the last straw for me. I had only drank a little and that fucker just wanted to send me away so he could be alone I know it!! anyway.. Fuck the world like 2pac says cause this blows..