(no subject)
I am not really sure what to think or feel at this time. my boyfriend is very quiet and distant it seems lately. he spends more time on his laptop then he does with me. He also wont communicate how hes feeling which makes it very hard for me. I kinda think he may been planning on dumping me. lately his family has been coming down on him to get rid of me. for some reason they have some sorta grudge against me. its mostly cause there Republican assholes! anyways. i really hope alex doesnt turn out like them. or for that matter let his dad or Sister run his life and tell him who he can/cant be with.
hes fucking 18 almost 19 he can decide on his own i think. anyways. i just dont know what to do.
if he all of a sudden kicks me out the only place i can go is back to my dads. if i go there ill be back stuck in my dark hole again. i had just safely crawled out of that whole. I really dont want to fall back into that again. not to mention the fact of being all alone there again. also theres always the work factor added in. hence we both work together it will make it very hard if i am at my dads. i would have no way to even make it most likely. unless im doing 2 1/2 hour bus rides. and rides at 11pm :( helll noooo
fuck
So yeah i dunno i just am kind of rambling on right now because alex is on his laptop typing about me im sure to who knows who. i know hes hiding stuff from me. i wish i knew what it was. i wish i knew what was going to happen to me or whats going to happen next. i really dont want to be without him. i really do love him i feel. i guess he cant see that. or maybe thats too much for him...
i am willing to change or do whatever it takes to make things better again. the question is. will he give me the time to make that change. and will doing that really improve things?
i dunno but i wish i had a good friend or some advice right about now...
helpp
hes fucking 18 almost 19 he can decide on his own i think. anyways. i just dont know what to do.
if he all of a sudden kicks me out the only place i can go is back to my dads. if i go there ill be back stuck in my dark hole again. i had just safely crawled out of that whole. I really dont want to fall back into that again. not to mention the fact of being all alone there again. also theres always the work factor added in. hence we both work together it will make it very hard if i am at my dads. i would have no way to even make it most likely. unless im doing 2 1/2 hour bus rides. and rides at 11pm :( helll noooo
fuck
So yeah i dunno i just am kind of rambling on right now because alex is on his laptop typing about me im sure to who knows who. i know hes hiding stuff from me. i wish i knew what it was. i wish i knew what was going to happen to me or whats going to happen next. i really dont want to be without him. i really do love him i feel. i guess he cant see that. or maybe thats too much for him...
i am willing to change or do whatever it takes to make things better again. the question is. will he give me the time to make that change. and will doing that really improve things?
i dunno but i wish i had a good friend or some advice right about now...
helpp