What the hell is going on.
Dude.
I dunno what is up lately with life and such. I got this job at Metro One which is this company that Basicly handles calls for the 1800FREE-411 Service. So basicly I was the guy that helped you find ur listing and you were a total ASS too. anyways.
so I did that for a while. Things were okay I had the same schedule as alex, yet we always seemed to fight before work which made me a wreak Almost EVERY day. So like I basicly just about had a Break-down Everyday before work. For many reasons. First Of All being my Fucking arms Are deformed. I hate myself and my Skin I want to fucking go back 5 years and Tell everyone that Tried to TOUCH ME to FUCK OFF AND BACK THE FUCK OFF.
Man.. I was such a dumb kid.
Anyways. I got fucking scars up my arms from the times I was so depressed I would Cut into myself. So I have to go out into the world and face the Judgemental people all over. fucking SUCKS.
Even harder is going into work everyday looking like that. Always knowing and remembering all the pain I had felt and faced in my life. :sigh:
Ive tried to cope with that and deal with "The way I am" But its hard sometimes. And Really I just end up feeling empty most days. I feel like theres more to life Like theres more meaning then Just waking up going to work and coming home. I dunno why everyone wants to Settle for this Shitty SAME OLE SHIT Life that America SEems to FORCE upon everyone.
I dunno man.
I Hate living in the US I want to move to canada. or somewhere Anywhere far from here man. I do LOVE OREGON but its like. I just want to almost disappear and start over.
:sigh:
So basicly I had a job for a few months and Now as of YEsterday have OFFICALLY lost it again.
I got 12 points at work which intitles Being CANNED. No matter how good of a worker/person you are. No one FUcking Gives a crap!
anyways. oh and I lost my best friend of like 10 years today. Marissa. Im sure you all know her or at least have heard me talk about her. well over the years shes changed and Became not the same girl I used to know. shes pretty stubburn and Hotheaded. And Seems to have a Main goal of making Money and Forgetting that Im her FRIEND not some Customer/piece of crap whatever.
So today she totally Dissed me becuase like a week ago I borrowed 40 bucks from her. And I still have another pay check coming over at least 400 and she had the nerve to be like
Are you Going to pay me? Or Rip me off.
Im like WTF
does she Forget who the fuck I AM?
I would NEVER do something like that and its bullshit that she even SAID anything CLOSE to what she said. It got me soo heated.
everyone just loves to disrespect me. then Tell me that I need to RESPECT them. its like HELLO?
Its like there some DUMB AND CLUELESS That they dont see that THERE THE ONES who are being TOTALLY FUCKED UP TO ME! THats why im so bitter man.
fucking people want to know why I NEVER SMILE
THIS IS WHY!!!
i have are jaded fucking asshole people around who put me down. Treat me like crap
Dont Even care/understand what im going through.
I am NOT doing well... I hate my life and I want to go to sleep and not wake up sometimes.
I dunno what to do.
THERES MORE TO LIFE THEN THIS
I know it..
everyone prolly just thinks im crazy. :(
I dunno what is up lately with life and such. I got this job at Metro One which is this company that Basicly handles calls for the 1800FREE-411 Service. So basicly I was the guy that helped you find ur listing and you were a total ASS too. anyways.
so I did that for a while. Things were okay I had the same schedule as alex, yet we always seemed to fight before work which made me a wreak Almost EVERY day. So like I basicly just about had a Break-down Everyday before work. For many reasons. First Of All being my Fucking arms Are deformed. I hate myself and my Skin I want to fucking go back 5 years and Tell everyone that Tried to TOUCH ME to FUCK OFF AND BACK THE FUCK OFF.
Man.. I was such a dumb kid.
Anyways. I got fucking scars up my arms from the times I was so depressed I would Cut into myself. So I have to go out into the world and face the Judgemental people all over. fucking SUCKS.
Even harder is going into work everyday looking like that. Always knowing and remembering all the pain I had felt and faced in my life. :sigh:
Ive tried to cope with that and deal with "The way I am" But its hard sometimes. And Really I just end up feeling empty most days. I feel like theres more to life Like theres more meaning then Just waking up going to work and coming home. I dunno why everyone wants to Settle for this Shitty SAME OLE SHIT Life that America SEems to FORCE upon everyone.
I dunno man.
I Hate living in the US I want to move to canada. or somewhere Anywhere far from here man. I do LOVE OREGON but its like. I just want to almost disappear and start over.
:sigh:
So basicly I had a job for a few months and Now as of YEsterday have OFFICALLY lost it again.
I got 12 points at work which intitles Being CANNED. No matter how good of a worker/person you are. No one FUcking Gives a crap!
anyways. oh and I lost my best friend of like 10 years today. Marissa. Im sure you all know her or at least have heard me talk about her. well over the years shes changed and Became not the same girl I used to know. shes pretty stubburn and Hotheaded. And Seems to have a Main goal of making Money and Forgetting that Im her FRIEND not some Customer/piece of crap whatever.
So today she totally Dissed me becuase like a week ago I borrowed 40 bucks from her. And I still have another pay check coming over at least 400 and she had the nerve to be like
Are you Going to pay me? Or Rip me off.
Im like WTF
does she Forget who the fuck I AM?
I would NEVER do something like that and its bullshit that she even SAID anything CLOSE to what she said. It got me soo heated.
everyone just loves to disrespect me. then Tell me that I need to RESPECT them. its like HELLO?
Its like there some DUMB AND CLUELESS That they dont see that THERE THE ONES who are being TOTALLY FUCKED UP TO ME! THats why im so bitter man.
fucking people want to know why I NEVER SMILE
THIS IS WHY!!!
i have are jaded fucking asshole people around who put me down. Treat me like crap
Dont Even care/understand what im going through.
I am NOT doing well... I hate my life and I want to go to sleep and not wake up sometimes.
I dunno what to do.
THERES MORE TO LIFE THEN THIS
I know it..
everyone prolly just thinks im crazy. :(