(no subject)
I had another dream about Stephen the other night...
This one has any that I have ever had about him beat...
I dreamt that I was with him at the party... in the car driving home... with him when he crashed... everything... but it was weird because I couldn't tlak to him and he didn't see me... and like every few seconds it would be from a different point of view... seomtimes right next to him in the car... otehrss outside watching... and sometimes right from his eyes... it was fucking creepy... I dont know... I just sometimes wish that all the dreams I have about him would stop... and then other times I'm glad that I still have them becasue it is nice to see his face every once in a while... I just dont like that when I want to wake up from one I cant... like that one... I was in that state where like you want to wake up and you are thinking in your head that you want to wake up but for some reason no matter how hard you try you still cant... I dont know it was really messed up... I dont know... I just wish that things were back to how they used to be... I drove by his house the other day and the neighbor was out on his dirtbike right past stephens old house... and the first thing that came to mind was "hey look its stephen"... and then it was like "O... no... it's not"... I just wisht hat I could see him one more time... give him one more hug... say one more goodbye to him... it's been almost a year and I still think abotu him every day... and miss him every day... and in a way I just want all of that to go away... I mean ya... I can sleep without crying myself to sleep every night... I can drive by his house without wanting to cry everytime... I can go in his house and tlak to his parents with a litte bit more ease... but it still hurts so much and I just want it not to hurt anymore... I dont know... I need sleep though I have a long day tomorrow with all my new job shit starting up...
~another sleepless night lies ahead~
This one has any that I have ever had about him beat...
I dreamt that I was with him at the party... in the car driving home... with him when he crashed... everything... but it was weird because I couldn't tlak to him and he didn't see me... and like every few seconds it would be from a different point of view... seomtimes right next to him in the car... otehrss outside watching... and sometimes right from his eyes... it was fucking creepy... I dont know... I just sometimes wish that all the dreams I have about him would stop... and then other times I'm glad that I still have them becasue it is nice to see his face every once in a while... I just dont like that when I want to wake up from one I cant... like that one... I was in that state where like you want to wake up and you are thinking in your head that you want to wake up but for some reason no matter how hard you try you still cant... I dont know it was really messed up... I dont know... I just wish that things were back to how they used to be... I drove by his house the other day and the neighbor was out on his dirtbike right past stephens old house... and the first thing that came to mind was "hey look its stephen"... and then it was like "O... no... it's not"... I just wisht hat I could see him one more time... give him one more hug... say one more goodbye to him... it's been almost a year and I still think abotu him every day... and miss him every day... and in a way I just want all of that to go away... I mean ya... I can sleep without crying myself to sleep every night... I can drive by his house without wanting to cry everytime... I can go in his house and tlak to his parents with a litte bit more ease... but it still hurts so much and I just want it not to hurt anymore... I dont know... I need sleep though I have a long day tomorrow with all my new job shit starting up...
~another sleepless night lies ahead~