Emergency Guidelines for Zombie Apocalypse
You think I'm joking? Check this then. Guardian has an article. And the original is here. Here are a few highlights.
A Brief History of Zombies
....The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”
*how indeed?*
...First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp...
...First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
*they forget zombie band-aids. delays zombie infection. i know because i'm a doctor. we use it ALL the time. yeah*
...Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan...
*If there is somethin' strange in your neighborhood*
This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.
*Who you gonna call?*
...Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team.
*GHOSTBUSTERS! No, seriously. I will call Buffy. Oh no, she was a fictional character. I'll call Mulder. Scully wouldn't believe me anyway.*
...Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.
Never Fear - CDC is Ready
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.
*...we don't need another hero... Two words: Umbrella Corporation*
Thank you CDC for clearing that. Now i feel so secure, and prepared for zombies.
Personally i think this is a nice prank on CDC.
Edit: CDC says "Made you look!" Okay. >_>
A Brief History of Zombies
....The rise of zombies in pop culture has given credence to the idea that a zombie apocalypse could happen. In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way. The proliferation of this idea has led many people to wonder “How do I prepare for a zombie apocalypse?”
*how indeed?*
...First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp...
...First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
*they forget zombie band-aids. delays zombie infection. i know because i'm a doctor. we use it ALL the time. yeah*
...Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan...
*If there is somethin' strange in your neighborhood*
This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.
*Who you gonna call?*
...Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team.
*GHOSTBUSTERS! No, seriously. I will call Buffy. Oh no, she was a fictional character. I'll call Mulder. Scully wouldn't believe me anyway.*
...Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.
Never Fear - CDC is Ready
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.
*...we don't need another hero... Two words: Umbrella Corporation*
Thank you CDC for clearing that. Now i feel so secure, and prepared for zombies.
Personally i think this is a nice prank on CDC.
Edit: CDC says "Made you look!" Okay. >_>