(no subject)
I am sad tonight.
It's the unexpected ending of an era, like turning a new decade without realizing that's the year you turn eleventy. I don't know why I haven't realized it before; I should have, but it hits me tonight more than ever.
Those funtimes that I look back fondly on are definitely over.
Those specific ones. They've been over for several years, mind. I've been on to new ones. Roleplaying ones, which have scratched the itch of playing a specific character in the Narnian fandom just fine. I've gotten to play with terrific writers, a whole world of characters, and it's been oodles of fun.
But.
For that one brief shining moment tonight, I had this glee in my heart at the thought of reliving past funtimes of fandom playing. They died in an instant.
You can't recreate the past. It's definitely over, most likely forever, and I'm not going to get them back. I will enjoy what I can, dabble where I may, and see what happens. But there have definitely been tears tonight over what might have been.
It's the unexpected ending of an era, like turning a new decade without realizing that's the year you turn eleventy. I don't know why I haven't realized it before; I should have, but it hits me tonight more than ever.
Those funtimes that I look back fondly on are definitely over.
Those specific ones. They've been over for several years, mind. I've been on to new ones. Roleplaying ones, which have scratched the itch of playing a specific character in the Narnian fandom just fine. I've gotten to play with terrific writers, a whole world of characters, and it's been oodles of fun.
But.
For that one brief shining moment tonight, I had this glee in my heart at the thought of reliving past funtimes of fandom playing. They died in an instant.
You can't recreate the past. It's definitely over, most likely forever, and I'm not going to get them back. I will enjoy what I can, dabble where I may, and see what happens. But there have definitely been tears tonight over what might have been.