(no subject)
i finally ended up saying something. this entire time i was afraid to mention it since i think bringing in your personal life to your business life is a big no-no, but i just couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell someone, and so i told Sheri (my boss). even though she promised that what was said behind closed doors stayed behind closed doors (because i mean, a promise sworn over pinkies is really going to keep her to her word) it didn't matter--it just felt so good to finally get it off my chest. its just so sickening to watch him walk around that office like he's some kind of God with everyone shaking his hands or giving him a pat on the back. Doesn't anyone see what I have to deal with? Yeah sure he's a big hit at the bar. Buy you a round of drinks, maybe even two, no problem. But, see the key point to that is when they've sucked down the last patch of foam from their $6 Miller Lites, they get to leave. I, on the other hand, have the pleasure of leading out the only living belligerent six-year-old-trapped-in-a-49-year-olds-body out to South Station and then to Heathers car. And for added fun, sometimes he drives home! It's a pretty exciting ride in the backseat, gripping the car handle, closing your eyes, not making eye contact with him because you don't want to set him off (but then again, anything can set him off). And it all adds up to the big finale when you try to keep out of his way and stay quiet he asks you "whats your fucking problem?" or if you try to confront him about it he asks "why dont you shut your fucking mouth?" A real mind-twister there. Which way should i venture tonight? The path of least resistance, which will undoubtedly end in a fight, or the path of righteousness, which will also end in a fight. Ah the many many choices.
the point of this rank though, is not to get sympathy from others--i despise that more than children (and if you knew me, then you'd know thats a whole hell of a lot of hatred) but more of a way for me to vent out my feelings on the matter, and to put down [some what] permanently my feelings on my living situation, this way, when things get good again, (always the calmest before the storm) i can remind myself that it's not worth staying here. i end work on july 24th and you better believe i've started marking my calendar.
the point of this rank though, is not to get sympathy from others--i despise that more than children (and if you knew me, then you'd know thats a whole hell of a lot of hatred) but more of a way for me to vent out my feelings on the matter, and to put down [some what] permanently my feelings on my living situation, this way, when things get good again, (always the calmest before the storm) i can remind myself that it's not worth staying here. i end work on july 24th and you better believe i've started marking my calendar.