MC Escher - that’s my favorite MC.
This might've been an entry about not writing an entry about not writing an entry about vacation, except that if I explained why it's not an entry about that, it would become the very thing it claims not to be! And rather than cause any tears in the circular-logic continuum, I shall simply change the subject entirely.
Yesterday, I flipped the bathroom light switch and found myself face-to-feeler with a wonderful cat toy. "Cats!" I called. "Centipede!" One of them materialized immediately, briskly sauntering into the room. "Look!" I said, pointing to the hundred feathery legs darkening the corner where the two walls met. The smell of feline neurons working overtime filled the room, and the fearsome predator burst into action. He sat, and peered, and sat some more, then finally reached out and nudged the bug with a paw. It fell to the floor and frantically ciliated across half a tile before getting stomped. The cat then lifted his paw and without further hesitation, licked up the dazed centipede, chewed a little, and then spat out the legless body. Clearly unimpressed, he strolled away with the troubled look of someone with a mouth full of still-twitching disembodied centipede legs. Dee-licious.
Today, I got to ride in a tow truck for over an hour with a terminally sniffling palooka behind the wheel and a worthless piece of crap on the flatbed. This condition arose when my awesome thrashing to "White & Nerdy", which made XM's Top 20 station, was rudely curtailed by the dashboard going, "omg beep! hey, beep? hello? I said BEEP, bitch. Now pull the fuck over already." and telling me that the car, much like my oven of yestermonth, was running entirely too hot and would in all probability erupt like Mount Vesuvius, shooting a pillar of flame and molten engine through the hood, blanketing the eastern seaboard with ash and causing nuclear winter if I kept driving. So for the good of the planet, I called AAA and invoked my hundred-mile towing, went home, ate a burrito, and learned from my answering machine that I am the lucky winner of a business trip to Raleigh where I am to be this week's human sacrifice, sent as collateral to appease The Customer with live meat. They better have a damned fine altar to tie me to or I will be severely displeased.
Yesterday, I flipped the bathroom light switch and found myself face-to-feeler with a wonderful cat toy. "Cats!" I called. "Centipede!" One of them materialized immediately, briskly sauntering into the room. "Look!" I said, pointing to the hundred feathery legs darkening the corner where the two walls met. The smell of feline neurons working overtime filled the room, and the fearsome predator burst into action. He sat, and peered, and sat some more, then finally reached out and nudged the bug with a paw. It fell to the floor and frantically ciliated across half a tile before getting stomped. The cat then lifted his paw and without further hesitation, licked up the dazed centipede, chewed a little, and then spat out the legless body. Clearly unimpressed, he strolled away with the troubled look of someone with a mouth full of still-twitching disembodied centipede legs. Dee-licious.
Today, I got to ride in a tow truck for over an hour with a terminally sniffling palooka behind the wheel and a worthless piece of crap on the flatbed. This condition arose when my awesome thrashing to "White & Nerdy", which made XM's Top 20 station, was rudely curtailed by the dashboard going, "omg beep! hey, beep? hello? I said BEEP, bitch. Now pull the fuck over already." and telling me that the car, much like my oven of yestermonth, was running entirely too hot and would in all probability erupt like Mount Vesuvius, shooting a pillar of flame and molten engine through the hood, blanketing the eastern seaboard with ash and causing nuclear winter if I kept driving. So for the good of the planet, I called AAA and invoked my hundred-mile towing, went home, ate a burrito, and learned from my answering machine that I am the lucky winner of a business trip to Raleigh where I am to be this week's human sacrifice, sent as collateral to appease The Customer with live meat. They better have a damned fine altar to tie me to or I will be severely displeased.