Better? A little...
Today ended better. Briefly spoke to person of interest... He will be coming this weekend. Yea! But, we do need to sit down and talk. Lay down some rules. My first priority/goal needs to be helping him heal from his current breakups. Just be there for him. As a friend. If more happens, it happens. Doesn't mean that I don't want more to happen, i do. But, can't force it. I need to learn better control... never had this problem before. Completely new territory. Not only am I going to have to be patient with him, but he is going to need to be patient with me.
After so long of holding myself back from what i want, and finally letting myself do what i want, it is hard to go back into that box... i don't fit in there anymore. I wasn't happy there. I like the person that i am becoming. Just wish I had started this path years ago... I still hold back a little at times. Not NEAR as much as in the past. It made me smile when I was able to surprise my coworkers at faire this past season. There has been a drastic change in just the year between the last two seasons; and they could see it. I joked and played more; instead of staying in the background. It also helped that everyone seemed to have a much better year themselves, so emotions were good. I hope this season is as good as last season. What changes/surprises are in store for me/us?
After so long of holding myself back from what i want, and finally letting myself do what i want, it is hard to go back into that box... i don't fit in there anymore. I wasn't happy there. I like the person that i am becoming. Just wish I had started this path years ago... I still hold back a little at times. Not NEAR as much as in the past. It made me smile when I was able to surprise my coworkers at faire this past season. There has been a drastic change in just the year between the last two seasons; and they could see it. I joked and played more; instead of staying in the background. It also helped that everyone seemed to have a much better year themselves, so emotions were good. I hope this season is as good as last season. What changes/surprises are in store for me/us?