Fanfic: Sudden Erasure ByaxRen rated T 1/?
Title: Sudden Erasure
Author: StarbearerTM
Chapter: 1/?
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing: ByakuyaxRenji, implied IchigoxRukia
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 2706
Summary: Byakuya comes to the rescue of Renji but when Renji next awakens from his injuries, he finds himself a victim of missing time, and everything is different, even though Byakuya is still there and close to him.
Spoilers (anime/Manga): Fake Karakura arc, Tales of the Lost Shinigami arc
Spoilers (fanfiction): Melting Warmth, Noble Scrutiny, Differences of Opinion
A/n: This is the latest installment in the ongoing byakuya/renji story arc I started with a few years ago. I apologize for not updating with a story in that continuity for so long.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach, it belongs to Tite Kubo. I make no money writing this fanfiction. It means no harm to the anime/manga
Karakura Town was always a magnet for hollows. Today was no exception as both shinigami substitute and vice captain of squad 6 both sliced through what seemed like the hundredth one. Zabimaru snaked around biting into one. Zangetsu cleaved through another.
Renji wearily dragged himself up, tottering on his feet but damn determined as the hollows closed in. Next to him Ichigo was just as battered and scratched, but barely able to lift his sword. What should have been easy for two highly powered shinigami was now taking its toll.
“C’mon ya bastards, I dare ya,” Renji muttered, no longer having the energy to go into bankai.
Already huge holes in the terrain gave witness to a long fever pitched battle.
“Where… is everyone?” gasped Ichigo, lifting his weapon as he thrust it forward to slice through a hollow stupid enough to weave past the snaking segments of Zabimaru.
Beneath them the ground shook as a looming shape appeared and both shinigami exchanged a look.
Not far away, Inoue struggled to heal the fallen Sado and Ishida, pouring all her concentration into it as Rukia maintained a kidou barrier.
Something warm and wet dripped from Renji’s scalp. He was sure it was blood because he recognized the iron taste. Across their field of vision drifted small gleaming objects, pink in color. Renji turned to the Menos Grande and managed a weak smile as he and Ichigo were ringed in the beautiful sakura petals shimmering in the sun that managed to break through the clouds.
“Nii sama,” Rukia whispered, her blue eyes gleaming brightly.
“Taicho…” Renji got out as he collapsed on his knees and Ichigo caught him under the arms.
As Ichigo turned towards the source of the voice, he was barely able to keep himself and Renji standing when the steel eyed imposing figure stood behind them. He glanced down towards Ichigo, his eyes filled with something that the young substitute was sure was respect.
“Kurosaki Ichigo, please hold onto Abarai Fukaitaicho. I need both hands for this.”
“You got it Byakuya,” Ichigo said as he crouched down, Renji in his arms. Raising Tensa Zangetsu, he blocked the oncoming rush of ceros as Byakuya's tekku gloved hands raised like a conductor. A quick wave of his hand and a huge wall of swords rose up, surrounding Rukia the fallen humans and Ichigo as well.
“Nii sama,” Rukia murmured again.
“Rukia, do not trouble yourself with that kidou barrier any longer,” Byakuya called to her quietly. For only a moment the shifting wall of swords blocked out the enemy before Byakuya again thrust one hand towards the enemy.
Ichigo barely saw the deadly blades sloughing into their attackers as he dropped to his knees.
An arm reached out and gently took Renji from his arms at the same time Rukia’s shoulder levered against him. Coughing blood, Ichigo let his arm curl around Rukia, and struggled to stand. Now Byakuya slid a hand under Renji’s knees and back, lifting him bridal style. Blood from his vice captain stained the front of the noble’s haori, but he could still direct the deadly blades with his mind.
“Kurosaki Ichigo, you are to come back to Soul society with me,” Byakuya said as he looked at Inoue turning her gaze towards him. “Squad 6 will grant safe passage to your allies to Urahara’s store.”
“Th… thanks… but what took you so…” Ichigo stammered out before he coughed.
Rukia’s own tekku gloved hand braced against his chest. She murmured, “Shut up idiot. You’ll waste your strength…”
Shadows swirled around Renji and Ichigo through the searing pain. Blood’s rusty scent filled their nostrils, sticking to the clotting wounds. Both men felt the arms of their significant others around them as if trying to tear them from the sinking darkness.
**
Feverish specters wound their way over Renji’s vision. The dozens of cuts slashed into him as he heard his captain’s voice. “You will never reach my level…” it taunted.
Renji found himself kneeling in a pool of his own blood, dozens of pink blades around him and slicing in his flesh. A grim face leering down at him as he knelt there.
“Taicho!” he called out, a feeling of betrayal ripping through him.
Then a leering face bobbing right in front of his, Byakuya wearing an expression that Renji felt twisting his gut into knots. Cruel, without remorse. Taunting. Renji squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block it out.
***
A cool hand passed over Renji’s brow, bringing with it a sitting sensation. All over his body the cuts stung, tingling with kidou. Brown eyes fluttered open under dark lashes to see the owner of that hand looming over him.
For a split second Renji trembled greatly. “T… Taicho!”
“Renji, it is I. You are safe,” came the melodic baritone.
“But I saw you… you… wanted to kill me…” Renji got out, flinching away from his captain’s touch. He could see the bandages covering most of his body granting him an appearance of some strange creature from a living world horror film.
“Look around you,” said Byakuya softly. Gone were the three kenseikan he was used to seeing, and Byakuya’s hair fell more freely over his eyes. Gone was the scarf form around his neck. On one finger of his left hand, Renji saw a gold ring gleaming.
“Taicho what am I doin’ here?” he asked, glancing at the large bed he lay in. He blushed realizing where he was.
“This is where you live, Renji,” Byakuya said, frowning a bit.
“No way Taicho. Yer jokin’. Sure I’ve slept over here but live here?” Renji laughed.
“I see nothing amusing about this. And I am not joking,” Byakuya said quietly.
“Taicho… what’s goin’ on?”
“That is precisely what I wish to know. You look at me as if I would cause you harm, when you know that is far from the truth," Byakuya muttered.
“I… I know ya wouldn’t hurt me now but… I remembered… when you an’ I fought when Rukia…”
“That was a long time ago, Renji,” Byakuya murmured, his head inclined so Renji couldn’t’ see his face.
“Taicho… yer not makin’ sense. When did ya change yer hairstyle, an’ where’s yer scarf?” Renji asked.
“Renji, what is the last thing you remember happening?” asked Byakuya quietly. “Is it when we fought?”
Renji frowned. “I remember… ya askin’ if I wanted t’ spend the night here last week…”
“Last week?” Byakuya murmured.
“But then I remember a fight an’ a lot of hollows, then I started havin’ weird dreams… you rescued us but then…”
“Does this not look familiar to you?” Byakuya asked as he raised his own hand.
Renji’s throat tightened as he saw the gold band marked with the signet of the Kuchiki clan.
“No… wait Taicho… ya got married again?”
“That is correct Renji,” he said slowly.
“Who… who’s the lucky person,” muttered Renji, feeling his heart being crushed.
“Look at your own hand,” said Byakuya.
“Why?” Renji asked, but Byakuya took his bandaged wrist. Only his fingers were visible, but he saw a ring on the third finger of his left hand, almost the same in gleaming gold.
“Does that answer your question?” Byakuya murmured his voice barely discernable.
“This has gotta be a dream,” Renji muttered as he started to put two and two together. “Ya mean t’ tell me that you an’ I…”
“I take it from your tone that this is far from familiar to you,” Byakuya muttered.
“Married… t’ ya? I know we’re datin’ an all but… mm… married?” Renji stammered his head swimming.
“Taicho… I can’t remember,” Renji murmured as he looked down at his own ring in disbelief. “I know I remember ya sayin’ somethin’ about askin’ the elders fer permission but this…”
“Unohana Taicho had suggested the best way to treat this was to keep things as calm as possible,” said Byakuya. “Have you in familiar surroundings.”
“But they ain’t that familiar,” Renji said mournfully. “I remember us bein’ lovers, but not bein’ married!”
He then looked up with a big brotherly concern in his eyes as he asked, “What about Rukia? She an’ Ichigo still…”
Byakuya nodded. “Though Kurosaki is suffering a similar malady to yours.”
“Rukia...” he trailed off. “Last thing I remember when I heard about her is her putting in her application for Fukaitaicho of squad 13.”
“Do you remember your last birthday celebration?” Byakuya asked, noticing Renji’s confusion mounting.
“Well… I recall ya threw one fer me here at the manor… but ya invited all my friends in the west wing,” he said with a chuckle.
Byakuya rested his hands in his lap, foldling them. Now he sat on the edge of the bed near Renji, something he would never have done as Renji remembered. He quietly informed, “Renji, that was over 2 years ago.”
A tekkou gloved hand pushed Renji down as he tried to sit up. Dark brows lifted as Renji spluttered, “2 years! Ya mean t’ say I don’t remember the last 2 years?”
“Apparently you yourself have said it,” Byakuya sighed.
“Taicho… Byakuya…” he trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m sorry…”
“Why are you apologizing Renji? This is hardly your fault.”
Renji fell silent, and rolled over in the bed, with his back facing Byakuya. He didn’t want the noble to see his tears. Confusion rattled his brain with painful memories surfacing instead of the ones that he wished. An argument ringing in his ears, and their first fight. How the razor blades of Senbonzakura felt when they bit into him. Byakuya’s mocking words.
This Byakuya seemed nothing like the one he remembered and everything like Byakuya dreamed he would be. Instead of cold silent a hand rested on his shoulder, gently rubbing it as Byakuya murmured, “Renji… I will do what I can to insure we remember together… but if you wish for me to leave you alone…”
“Yeah… I need some time alone, Taicho,” Renji mumbled. He heard the soft noise of cloth shifting and then sensed Byakuya’s retreating reiatsu. Finally he started to sob openly once he knew he was alone.
**
After a time of lying on the bed in the huge chamber of Byakuya’s private quarters, Renji threw off the covers. He lay looking at the ceiling, blinking tears out of his eyes. Slowly he tried sitting up, finding that he was able to do so at least. He then swung his legs around in an attempt to stand up. By resting his hands on the bedstead and furniture he found he could do so.
A whole chunk of life had been stolen from him and he felt cheated. Knowing that the marriage had happened with no memories of how it was achieved made it bittersweet. “Like gettin’ a prize that ya didn’t earn…” he muttered.
Catching his reflection in the mirror Renji noticed that he wore a light kimono with flowers on it, not unlike the one he often wore to bed, but it was embroidered and the flowers much finer, but the fabric was still something he’d pick himself. His hair hung down much further, and Renji glimpsed his legs. His eyes widened seeing that there were tattoos there as well. He glanced down at the dresser and saw some pictures resting there. One was of himself and Byakuya standing together, and both wore elaborate dress that resembled something a groom would wear to a wedding. Here was proof positive of the event Renji realized as he picked up the photo and ran a hand over it.
Renji poked around, trying to look in the contents of the drawers for anything that seemed his. He opened one wardrobe and saw a number of loud looking clothes that seemed to his taste in among finer things. Then he noticed a bench at the end of the bed with folded clothes on it. Renji held up the haori, recognizing it as his size with the squad 6 marking inside.
Along with it was folded several strips of cloth. Renji realized one resembled a headband that he’d wear, but it was black, instead of white. Grabbing a brush, he quickly set to work on his hair and bound it up in a topknot. Stunned at how long it was he then tied the black headband around his brow to conceal his tattoos. The effect was very striking and he realized he ‘looked very badass’.
“Wow…” Renji got out. “Shit… I look…”
He quickly found Zabimaru on a stand next to Senbonzakura. So Byakuya was still in the manor, he guessed. Renji slung Zabimaru at his hip and glanced at the other two bands of cloth. Not sure what else to do with them he tied them around his wrists. As if that was what he always did. Something danced just out of reach.
Renji cursed, trying to snag the memory back. He stumbled out of the bedroom fully clothed, and made his way down the hall. Fresh air, he needed fresh air. Running through the halls he wormed his way through the maze till he finally reached an open space. Staring up at a patch of sky he noticed a sakura tree in the middle of a courtyard ringed with buildings on 4 sides.
“That tree…” Renji trailed off as his eyes looked at it. He stumbled towards it as if it life and sanity depended on it.
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the small koi pond near it, and frowned. “This isn’t me… I don’t remember myself like this!”
Renji flopped down in front of the tree and glanced down, feeling his eyes stinging. “I just want to go to my own apartment and take a bath. I… shit…”
“But this is your home now, Renji,’ said a voice softly from behind him.
“It doesn’t FEEL like home!” Renji cried out in anguish as he saw the form of Byakuya standing there. But someone he almost didn’t’ recognize.
“Renji…” sighed Byakuya as he strode out and reached toward him. “Why are you up? You shouldn’t be walking around after your injuries.”
“I want my own space,” Renji muttered, looking haunted. “I want my old life back… where things felt familiar… this is all not me!”
Resting a hand on his shoulder Byakuya quietly said, “I understand that you are scared, but I cannot imagine how you must feel right now."
“It’s not fair to you t’ be like this,’ Renji muttered. He then said, “I don’t suppose I have my old place do I?”
“As a matter of fact…” Byakuya trailed off quietly. “Sometimes you would spend the night there if I was not here because you said the manor was still ‘strange’.”
“Byakuya… Taicho… please take me home,” Renji said softly.
Hurt filled Byakuya’s eyes but he nodded. It struck Renji how much more openly Byakuya was showing his emotions and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. He missed ‘his’ Byakuya. The one who was testy emotionally stifled but still bumbling. Not this too perfect one that seemed like a dream come true.
“I will not stop you if you wish to go,” said Byakuya softly. “But are you sure?”
“Even if ya say we’re married, it doesn’t seem right t’ stay here… when I don’t even remember our wedding,” said Renji sadly.
“We are still spouses, no matter what,” Byakuya said as he saw Renji sitting there, turning the ring on his hand. “And you are still not fully recovered.”
“I want t’ remember on my own,” said Renji quietly. “Please Taicho…”
“Can nothing I say change your mind?” Byakuya said as he glanced imploringly at Renji. Slowly Renji walked over and pressed a chaste kiss to Byakuya’s cheek.
“Sorry Taicho,” he muttered. “How can I honor a vow I don’t remember? It ain’t fair to ya.”
Swallowing hard, the captain of squad 6 watched his subordinate turn to leave. He murmured, “Renji, you must do as you wish, but I hope you would reconsider…”
His words echoed in the empty halls of the Kuchiki estate, which felt more so vacant then before. Turning, Byakuya headed towards the shrine where Hisana’s picture and the others were located.
Author: StarbearerTM
Chapter: 1/?
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing: ByakuyaxRenji, implied IchigoxRukia
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 2706
Summary: Byakuya comes to the rescue of Renji but when Renji next awakens from his injuries, he finds himself a victim of missing time, and everything is different, even though Byakuya is still there and close to him.
Spoilers (anime/Manga): Fake Karakura arc, Tales of the Lost Shinigami arc
Spoilers (fanfiction): Melting Warmth, Noble Scrutiny, Differences of Opinion
A/n: This is the latest installment in the ongoing byakuya/renji story arc I started with a few years ago. I apologize for not updating with a story in that continuity for so long.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach, it belongs to Tite Kubo. I make no money writing this fanfiction. It means no harm to the anime/manga
Karakura Town was always a magnet for hollows. Today was no exception as both shinigami substitute and vice captain of squad 6 both sliced through what seemed like the hundredth one. Zabimaru snaked around biting into one. Zangetsu cleaved through another.
Renji wearily dragged himself up, tottering on his feet but damn determined as the hollows closed in. Next to him Ichigo was just as battered and scratched, but barely able to lift his sword. What should have been easy for two highly powered shinigami was now taking its toll.
“C’mon ya bastards, I dare ya,” Renji muttered, no longer having the energy to go into bankai.
Already huge holes in the terrain gave witness to a long fever pitched battle.
“Where… is everyone?” gasped Ichigo, lifting his weapon as he thrust it forward to slice through a hollow stupid enough to weave past the snaking segments of Zabimaru.
Beneath them the ground shook as a looming shape appeared and both shinigami exchanged a look.
Not far away, Inoue struggled to heal the fallen Sado and Ishida, pouring all her concentration into it as Rukia maintained a kidou barrier.
Something warm and wet dripped from Renji’s scalp. He was sure it was blood because he recognized the iron taste. Across their field of vision drifted small gleaming objects, pink in color. Renji turned to the Menos Grande and managed a weak smile as he and Ichigo were ringed in the beautiful sakura petals shimmering in the sun that managed to break through the clouds.
“Nii sama,” Rukia whispered, her blue eyes gleaming brightly.
“Taicho…” Renji got out as he collapsed on his knees and Ichigo caught him under the arms.
As Ichigo turned towards the source of the voice, he was barely able to keep himself and Renji standing when the steel eyed imposing figure stood behind them. He glanced down towards Ichigo, his eyes filled with something that the young substitute was sure was respect.
“Kurosaki Ichigo, please hold onto Abarai Fukaitaicho. I need both hands for this.”
“You got it Byakuya,” Ichigo said as he crouched down, Renji in his arms. Raising Tensa Zangetsu, he blocked the oncoming rush of ceros as Byakuya's tekku gloved hands raised like a conductor. A quick wave of his hand and a huge wall of swords rose up, surrounding Rukia the fallen humans and Ichigo as well.
“Nii sama,” Rukia murmured again.
“Rukia, do not trouble yourself with that kidou barrier any longer,” Byakuya called to her quietly. For only a moment the shifting wall of swords blocked out the enemy before Byakuya again thrust one hand towards the enemy.
Ichigo barely saw the deadly blades sloughing into their attackers as he dropped to his knees.
An arm reached out and gently took Renji from his arms at the same time Rukia’s shoulder levered against him. Coughing blood, Ichigo let his arm curl around Rukia, and struggled to stand. Now Byakuya slid a hand under Renji’s knees and back, lifting him bridal style. Blood from his vice captain stained the front of the noble’s haori, but he could still direct the deadly blades with his mind.
“Kurosaki Ichigo, you are to come back to Soul society with me,” Byakuya said as he looked at Inoue turning her gaze towards him. “Squad 6 will grant safe passage to your allies to Urahara’s store.”
“Th… thanks… but what took you so…” Ichigo stammered out before he coughed.
Rukia’s own tekku gloved hand braced against his chest. She murmured, “Shut up idiot. You’ll waste your strength…”
Shadows swirled around Renji and Ichigo through the searing pain. Blood’s rusty scent filled their nostrils, sticking to the clotting wounds. Both men felt the arms of their significant others around them as if trying to tear them from the sinking darkness.
**
Feverish specters wound their way over Renji’s vision. The dozens of cuts slashed into him as he heard his captain’s voice. “You will never reach my level…” it taunted.
Renji found himself kneeling in a pool of his own blood, dozens of pink blades around him and slicing in his flesh. A grim face leering down at him as he knelt there.
“Taicho!” he called out, a feeling of betrayal ripping through him.
Then a leering face bobbing right in front of his, Byakuya wearing an expression that Renji felt twisting his gut into knots. Cruel, without remorse. Taunting. Renji squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block it out.
***
A cool hand passed over Renji’s brow, bringing with it a sitting sensation. All over his body the cuts stung, tingling with kidou. Brown eyes fluttered open under dark lashes to see the owner of that hand looming over him.
For a split second Renji trembled greatly. “T… Taicho!”
“Renji, it is I. You are safe,” came the melodic baritone.
“But I saw you… you… wanted to kill me…” Renji got out, flinching away from his captain’s touch. He could see the bandages covering most of his body granting him an appearance of some strange creature from a living world horror film.
“Look around you,” said Byakuya softly. Gone were the three kenseikan he was used to seeing, and Byakuya’s hair fell more freely over his eyes. Gone was the scarf form around his neck. On one finger of his left hand, Renji saw a gold ring gleaming.
“Taicho what am I doin’ here?” he asked, glancing at the large bed he lay in. He blushed realizing where he was.
“This is where you live, Renji,” Byakuya said, frowning a bit.
“No way Taicho. Yer jokin’. Sure I’ve slept over here but live here?” Renji laughed.
“I see nothing amusing about this. And I am not joking,” Byakuya said quietly.
“Taicho… what’s goin’ on?”
“That is precisely what I wish to know. You look at me as if I would cause you harm, when you know that is far from the truth," Byakuya muttered.
“I… I know ya wouldn’t hurt me now but… I remembered… when you an’ I fought when Rukia…”
“That was a long time ago, Renji,” Byakuya murmured, his head inclined so Renji couldn’t’ see his face.
“Taicho… yer not makin’ sense. When did ya change yer hairstyle, an’ where’s yer scarf?” Renji asked.
“Renji, what is the last thing you remember happening?” asked Byakuya quietly. “Is it when we fought?”
Renji frowned. “I remember… ya askin’ if I wanted t’ spend the night here last week…”
“Last week?” Byakuya murmured.
“But then I remember a fight an’ a lot of hollows, then I started havin’ weird dreams… you rescued us but then…”
“Does this not look familiar to you?” Byakuya asked as he raised his own hand.
Renji’s throat tightened as he saw the gold band marked with the signet of the Kuchiki clan.
“No… wait Taicho… ya got married again?”
“That is correct Renji,” he said slowly.
“Who… who’s the lucky person,” muttered Renji, feeling his heart being crushed.
“Look at your own hand,” said Byakuya.
“Why?” Renji asked, but Byakuya took his bandaged wrist. Only his fingers were visible, but he saw a ring on the third finger of his left hand, almost the same in gleaming gold.
“Does that answer your question?” Byakuya murmured his voice barely discernable.
“This has gotta be a dream,” Renji muttered as he started to put two and two together. “Ya mean t’ tell me that you an’ I…”
“I take it from your tone that this is far from familiar to you,” Byakuya muttered.
“Married… t’ ya? I know we’re datin’ an all but… mm… married?” Renji stammered his head swimming.
“Taicho… I can’t remember,” Renji murmured as he looked down at his own ring in disbelief. “I know I remember ya sayin’ somethin’ about askin’ the elders fer permission but this…”
“Unohana Taicho had suggested the best way to treat this was to keep things as calm as possible,” said Byakuya. “Have you in familiar surroundings.”
“But they ain’t that familiar,” Renji said mournfully. “I remember us bein’ lovers, but not bein’ married!”
He then looked up with a big brotherly concern in his eyes as he asked, “What about Rukia? She an’ Ichigo still…”
Byakuya nodded. “Though Kurosaki is suffering a similar malady to yours.”
“Rukia...” he trailed off. “Last thing I remember when I heard about her is her putting in her application for Fukaitaicho of squad 13.”
“Do you remember your last birthday celebration?” Byakuya asked, noticing Renji’s confusion mounting.
“Well… I recall ya threw one fer me here at the manor… but ya invited all my friends in the west wing,” he said with a chuckle.
Byakuya rested his hands in his lap, foldling them. Now he sat on the edge of the bed near Renji, something he would never have done as Renji remembered. He quietly informed, “Renji, that was over 2 years ago.”
A tekkou gloved hand pushed Renji down as he tried to sit up. Dark brows lifted as Renji spluttered, “2 years! Ya mean t’ say I don’t remember the last 2 years?”
“Apparently you yourself have said it,” Byakuya sighed.
“Taicho… Byakuya…” he trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m sorry…”
“Why are you apologizing Renji? This is hardly your fault.”
Renji fell silent, and rolled over in the bed, with his back facing Byakuya. He didn’t want the noble to see his tears. Confusion rattled his brain with painful memories surfacing instead of the ones that he wished. An argument ringing in his ears, and their first fight. How the razor blades of Senbonzakura felt when they bit into him. Byakuya’s mocking words.
This Byakuya seemed nothing like the one he remembered and everything like Byakuya dreamed he would be. Instead of cold silent a hand rested on his shoulder, gently rubbing it as Byakuya murmured, “Renji… I will do what I can to insure we remember together… but if you wish for me to leave you alone…”
“Yeah… I need some time alone, Taicho,” Renji mumbled. He heard the soft noise of cloth shifting and then sensed Byakuya’s retreating reiatsu. Finally he started to sob openly once he knew he was alone.
**
After a time of lying on the bed in the huge chamber of Byakuya’s private quarters, Renji threw off the covers. He lay looking at the ceiling, blinking tears out of his eyes. Slowly he tried sitting up, finding that he was able to do so at least. He then swung his legs around in an attempt to stand up. By resting his hands on the bedstead and furniture he found he could do so.
A whole chunk of life had been stolen from him and he felt cheated. Knowing that the marriage had happened with no memories of how it was achieved made it bittersweet. “Like gettin’ a prize that ya didn’t earn…” he muttered.
Catching his reflection in the mirror Renji noticed that he wore a light kimono with flowers on it, not unlike the one he often wore to bed, but it was embroidered and the flowers much finer, but the fabric was still something he’d pick himself. His hair hung down much further, and Renji glimpsed his legs. His eyes widened seeing that there were tattoos there as well. He glanced down at the dresser and saw some pictures resting there. One was of himself and Byakuya standing together, and both wore elaborate dress that resembled something a groom would wear to a wedding. Here was proof positive of the event Renji realized as he picked up the photo and ran a hand over it.
Renji poked around, trying to look in the contents of the drawers for anything that seemed his. He opened one wardrobe and saw a number of loud looking clothes that seemed to his taste in among finer things. Then he noticed a bench at the end of the bed with folded clothes on it. Renji held up the haori, recognizing it as his size with the squad 6 marking inside.
Along with it was folded several strips of cloth. Renji realized one resembled a headband that he’d wear, but it was black, instead of white. Grabbing a brush, he quickly set to work on his hair and bound it up in a topknot. Stunned at how long it was he then tied the black headband around his brow to conceal his tattoos. The effect was very striking and he realized he ‘looked very badass’.
“Wow…” Renji got out. “Shit… I look…”
He quickly found Zabimaru on a stand next to Senbonzakura. So Byakuya was still in the manor, he guessed. Renji slung Zabimaru at his hip and glanced at the other two bands of cloth. Not sure what else to do with them he tied them around his wrists. As if that was what he always did. Something danced just out of reach.
Renji cursed, trying to snag the memory back. He stumbled out of the bedroom fully clothed, and made his way down the hall. Fresh air, he needed fresh air. Running through the halls he wormed his way through the maze till he finally reached an open space. Staring up at a patch of sky he noticed a sakura tree in the middle of a courtyard ringed with buildings on 4 sides.
“That tree…” Renji trailed off as his eyes looked at it. He stumbled towards it as if it life and sanity depended on it.
He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the small koi pond near it, and frowned. “This isn’t me… I don’t remember myself like this!”
Renji flopped down in front of the tree and glanced down, feeling his eyes stinging. “I just want to go to my own apartment and take a bath. I… shit…”
“But this is your home now, Renji,’ said a voice softly from behind him.
“It doesn’t FEEL like home!” Renji cried out in anguish as he saw the form of Byakuya standing there. But someone he almost didn’t’ recognize.
“Renji…” sighed Byakuya as he strode out and reached toward him. “Why are you up? You shouldn’t be walking around after your injuries.”
“I want my own space,” Renji muttered, looking haunted. “I want my old life back… where things felt familiar… this is all not me!”
Resting a hand on his shoulder Byakuya quietly said, “I understand that you are scared, but I cannot imagine how you must feel right now."
“It’s not fair to you t’ be like this,’ Renji muttered. He then said, “I don’t suppose I have my old place do I?”
“As a matter of fact…” Byakuya trailed off quietly. “Sometimes you would spend the night there if I was not here because you said the manor was still ‘strange’.”
“Byakuya… Taicho… please take me home,” Renji said softly.
Hurt filled Byakuya’s eyes but he nodded. It struck Renji how much more openly Byakuya was showing his emotions and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. He missed ‘his’ Byakuya. The one who was testy emotionally stifled but still bumbling. Not this too perfect one that seemed like a dream come true.
“I will not stop you if you wish to go,” said Byakuya softly. “But are you sure?”
“Even if ya say we’re married, it doesn’t seem right t’ stay here… when I don’t even remember our wedding,” said Renji sadly.
“We are still spouses, no matter what,” Byakuya said as he saw Renji sitting there, turning the ring on his hand. “And you are still not fully recovered.”
“I want t’ remember on my own,” said Renji quietly. “Please Taicho…”
“Can nothing I say change your mind?” Byakuya said as he glanced imploringly at Renji. Slowly Renji walked over and pressed a chaste kiss to Byakuya’s cheek.
“Sorry Taicho,” he muttered. “How can I honor a vow I don’t remember? It ain’t fair to ya.”
Swallowing hard, the captain of squad 6 watched his subordinate turn to leave. He murmured, “Renji, you must do as you wish, but I hope you would reconsider…”
His words echoed in the empty halls of the Kuchiki estate, which felt more so vacant then before. Turning, Byakuya headed towards the shrine where Hisana’s picture and the others were located.