Fic-So Close and Yet So Far 5/? RenxIchixRen rated PG 13
Title: So Close and Yet So Far
Chapter: 5
Author: StarbearerTM
Pairing: Renji xIchigoxRenji
Word count: 2225 approx
Genre: Romance, drama
Warnings: Implied slash, yaoi
Spoilers: Missing Substitute Arc
Summary: Fighting in Xcution’s training under Ginjo’s guidance, Ichigo has an anxious spectator in Renji who cannot interfere when his lover faces peril.
A/N: Sorry this is so long in coming. I now have inspiration again to continue with this. I hope to have more chapters soon! Thank you for your patience!
Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns bleach, I don’t. It is licensed by Shonen Jump. I make no money writing this story. Ichigo is 17 in this.
Within the headquarters of Xcution, Renji bit his lip as he saw Ichigo’s form shrunken to the size of a doll. These people seemed insane and aware of his presence as he was held back by a woman with tanned skin. Reduced to a mere spectator he could only watch in horror at what they called 'Fullbring' training.
“Don’t interfere shinigami,” Jackie murmured trying to pinion his arm behind his back.
“The hell! Let me go will ya?” Renji snapped, wrenching hard short of ripping her arms off in his efforts to get free.
Ginjo Kugo turned towards them both. “I’m afraid I cannot allow you to interfere, Shinigami. I’m well aware you’ve been around him for a while.”
Fierce hot anger boiled in the pit of Renji's stomach, its acid burning the back of the redhead's throat. How dare those people try to define the nature of his relationship with the orange haired teen. That was hardly any of their damn business was it? If the power limiter on Renji's clothes didn't exist he'd have already drawn his zanpakuto and cut them all down just to get to his love.
Instead he snarled,“Ya can’t just… play with him like he's a fuckin toy!”
“You’re one to tell us what to do,” Ginjo said with a click of his tongue, shaking his head. “Considering that you all but abandoned him because you shinigami had more important things to do then check up on an ex deputy.”
Bitter words wrestled to Renji's lips despite the onslaught of accusations. “Shut up! Ya don't understand what I've gone through! Don't ya dare think that...”
“Really Shinigami? Don't you know what Kurosaki went through? With Xcution he has a place to belong and a purpose. No longer does he have to drift around trying to find some standard to define himself by,” murmured the leader of Xcution, light flashing off the distinctive necklace dangling on a chain. Renji had seen it transform earlier before his eyes.
Dipping his head down Renji squeezed his eyes shut once more. There was very little he could say in protest of Kugo's words because they rang painfully true. And the redhead hated him for it for he knew he was an intruder into a secret place in Ichigo's life. When he said nothing else, Kugo said, “Either stay here or watch, or leave.”
“If he dies, I’m comin after yer ass,” Renji vowed in a low hiss, his blood boiling.
“If you have so little faith in him, then you’re not worthy of his love,” accused the full bring user, lowering his eyes towards Renji in an unspoken challenge. Sullenly Renji sank back, biting his lip. He gnashed his teeth as he watched the small doll-like figure of his lover glancing up at the strange pig-like action figure.
Sado's dark eyes gleamed in concern as he muttered, “Please Renji it will be all right. I promise…”
Sighing Renji looked away. He next heard Ichigo’s voice and muffled shouts from inside the dollhouse. Strange reiatsu seemed to be increasing in strength and he widened his eyes in surprise. If Ichigo’s reiatsu was returning then perhaps…
“Ichigo san, meet Mister Pork,’ Riruka said with a serious face a minute after she smiled.
Hands twisted into fists though Jackie pinioned his arm behind his back. Renji out of the corner of his mouth whispered, “If ya let me go I give ya my word I won’t interfere.”
A slow nod from Ginjo convinced her and Renji rubbed his arm where she had grasped it tightly. Not that he couldn’t have escaped if he’d really been forceful, but he didn’t’ want to cause Ichigo any more trouble than he’d already taken on. The chocolate brown eyes of Chad met Renji’s crimson ones with deep concern, but also a blend of trust.
“Come closer and watch your boyfriend,” Ginjo said as he motioned to Renji. The shinigami caught a look of sullen disappointment in Riruka’s eyes as he strode over and looked into one of the windows of the house. Now he could see Ichigo dodging out of the way of the crazed doll.
“Ichigo ya dumb-ass don’t forget if ya die I’ll never forgive ya!” Renji suddenly bellowed. A slight smile crossed Chad’s face as he leaned over to watch as well from another window.
“True love,” Jackie chuckled, smiling as she saw the mounting concern in Renji’s handsome face.
Each slash and strike that Ichigo avoided almost caused the redheaded vice captain a stroke of his own. His fingers twitched as his hands lifted slowly towards the house. Although he didn’t touch it the spasmodic jerking of his fingers indicated the great restraint he was exercising. Every impulse screamed to smash the thing with Zabimaru, time be damned.
“Come on, I know you can do better,” Ginjo said as he looked into another window shaking his head.
“Ichigo ya jerk ya listen to me! Fight damn it! I don’t care what these other people think I know ya got the fight in ya! Ya gonna let some stupid stuffed toy get the best of ya?”
The tiny orange haired figure peered from behind one of the pieces of doll furniture. Sado leaned closer and urged, “Ichigo… remember what you’ve pride in. I’ve pride in my skin. The source of my heritage. That’s the secret of my full bring…”
Tattooed brows furrowed at the frank admission as Renji murmured, “Sado. Shit…”
“All the battles are etched on your soul Ichigo,” Ginjo called out to the orange haired teen. “Don’t forget that.”
“That doesn’t help me damn it,’ Ichigo’s tiny voice plaintively called.
“What’s the one thing ya want more than anything?” Renji asked. “It don’t take that much brainpower t’ figure it out… does it?”
From within he could almost hear Ichigo’s voice as raw as the words stuck in his throat. “I want it back. I want to see you again…”
“Ya hear that jackasses?” Renji almost laughed at the astonished looks from the other Xcution members. Something boiled around Ichigo’s frame, like hot air swirling in summer heat but denser. Renji saw him reach into the pocket of his jeans and remove the substitute badge. Tendrils of blackness seeped out of it, extending towards his hand. The surprise in those amber brown eyes mirrored those in Renji’s outside watching the tendrils shape into a familiar pattern.
Exactly the form of Tensa zangetsu’s tsuba it expanded to the diameter of a large dinner plate, but was two dimensional with no depth. Pride and determination flashed there reflected in the stance Ichigo took. Instead of turning to run he faced the deranged Mr. Pork, holding up the badge between them. As he swung his arm, he blocked and shoved back only to find no damage done to the target.
Gritting his teeth again so he was sure they were about to crack Renji muttered, “What the hell is that?”
Across from him Sado still gaped with both eyes under the fall of curly hair. Just like Renji he clenched and unclenched his fists at the knife’s edge of wanting to interfere. Ginjo shook his head muttering, “You can’t cut with a tsuba can you?”
“Would ya shut up an’ let him fight damn it?” Renji cut in, charging at Ginjo. Inches before he could grab the front of his jacket Chad shoved between them.
“Renji san, please it’s hard enough,” Sado pleaded in a deep rumble. The vice captain of squad 6 fought the urge to bury his face in the other’s shoulder and instead forced himself to look back into the dollhouse.
Now he spotted Ichigo’s hand blocking a blow from his strange assailant. Ichigo’s tiny brow wrinkled with a look all too familiar to the redheaded shinigami. Silently Renji whispered and pleaded. Let it be what he hoped. All that time that Ichigo had faced off against untold enemies he’d learned. Ginjo’s own sight trained on the development inside, his eyes holding a similar look of revelation.
“He’s a fighter,” Renji muttered, not wanting to see the badge drop from his lover’s hand. “All his life… he’s gotta…”
“Look,” Ginjo urged. Renji bit off his next comment when he next noticed Ichigo’s new stance, seizing the badge he’d now recovered. Form and substance that was denied release now erupted with the ferocity of something the redheaded vice captain hadn’t seen in all those long months.
“Ichigo… fight back. I know you can do it,” the redheaded shinigami muttered. From the badge whirled two pinwheels of solid black energy. Both connected with a violent force sufficient to throw Mr. Pork backwards into a wall.
“YES!” Renji whooped, pumping his fist into the air. “In yer faces!”
Ginjo’s smile of relief paled in comparison to that of Sado and the whooping dancing shinigami whose laughter echoed in the room. He didn’t care about the strange looks from the female and male contingents alike. In the commotion they barely heard Ichigo’s voice demanding, “Let me out of here damn it!”
Immediately Renji whirled on Ginjo, hand on the hilt of Zabimaru. “So are you gonna let him out or what?”
“Renji san…” Chad sighed, lifting his left hand, legs poise to propel him between the two again.
Ginjo shook his head murmuring, “Let’s not be too hasty. Mr. Pork still has some life in him yet. This may not be the full manifestation…”
“Who the hell cares? Let him outta there or I’ll smash the thing,” Renji growled.
“No! Not my doll house!” Riruka yelped in horror despite Ginjo’s protests. Again Sado positioned himself between the anxious shinigami and his intended target.
“Renji san you promised…” Sado sighed, hands on Renji’s arms. Both of them heard Riruka’s sneeze and the feel of the energies shifting that bound space and compressed it. One moment the dollhouse stood in the midst of them, the next an orange haired boy with snot covered clothes half lay on the floor by the other occupant of the house.
“Ugh… thanks a bunch, Riruka,” Ichigo cursed.
Both Sado and Renji rushed to his side, the redheaded shinigami grasping Ichigo’s shoulders and shaking him. He scolded, “Ya dumbass don’t ever scare me like that again…”
“Ichigo are you all right?” Sado asked, reaching one hand down to help him up but hesitating because of the slime. Bewildered brown eyes blinked up and past him as he grabbed his friend’s arm.
“Took them damn long enough to let me out of there. What the hell is your problem?” he yelled as he glared at Ginjo.
“That’s what I wanna know,” Renji muttered, wrapping his arm around Ichigo’s shoulders. He didn’t care about the slime.
“Do you want a towel?” Ginjo chuckled hugging his ribs, unable to control the urge to laugh.
“Oh no. Just let me bask in this fricking snot will ya?” Ichigo retorted, rolling his eyes.
A towel dropped in Ichigo’s lap, handed to him by Sado. He wiped his friend down with Renji’s help, the shinigami vice captain muttering, “What did he mean about that not bein’ yer real fullbring?”
“You and me both…” Ichigo trailed off.
Renji’s heart pounded within the confines of his chest between his lungs. If it pulsed any harder it would have shattered his breastbone with the violence of it leaping. The orange haired teen's amber eyes turned towards his voice, looking and probing in shock as he murmured, “Ichigo... did ya hear me just now?”
“I heard you calling me a dumbass earlier,” Ichigo replied, blinking.
“Isn’t that just sweet,” Ginjo observed from where Mr. Pork was demanding payment from an annoyed Riruka picking up her dollhouse.
“Renji…” Ichigo said in small voice, brown eyes wide as Renji’s at that moment.
“Of course that was me. I’ve been here all along,” the redheaded shinigami sighed with a click of his tongue.
“I can hear you… damn I can hear you,” Ichigo half choked, reaching blindly in the air. At that moment the surrounding Xcution ceased to exist in the orange haired teen’s perceptions. Sado pushed hair out of his face and smiled broadly as he helped pull Ichigo to stand on shaky feet.
Within Ichigo’s hand the badge pulsed and swirled with black energy. Renji frowned, hearing a voice emanating from it. He and the former shinigami substitute both puzzled at the sound of Rukia’s voice murmuring something. Tensely Renji bit his lip, a horrid realization coming to his mind. He sighed and shook his head as Ichigo asked, “What the hell was that?”
“I… dunno,” Renji admitted, rubbing his neck.
“What’s going on with Rukia? What WAS that she was talking about?” Ichigo snapped. Just being able to hear Renji wasn’t enough.
“I’ll tell ya what I know, but not here,” Renji hissed in his lover's ear.
“Well… this is all touching, and I hate to break it up,” Ginjo interrupted, clapping his hands from the side of the room.
“What?” Ichigo and Renji simultaneously barked, swiveling their head towards the leader.
Ginjo held up a hand and smiled disarmingly, saying, “You’ve got more training ahead of you. But not so fast.”
“Does that mean…” Sado began to ask.
“You should go home now,” Ginjo suggested, thrusting his hands in his pockets. By this time Mr. Pork and Riruka had left the room along with the other Xcution members. Ichigo rubbed the moisture off his face with another towel, feeling the presence of Renji’s reiatsu faintly but definitively now. Not just the presence of an arm around his shoulders but minute sounds of breathing and a low growl from his throat.
“That’s it?” Ichigo panted.
“You need to rest for a few days. Besides, I know you’ve got some important things to get to,” Ginjo chuckled; amused at the irritated identical looks the shinigami and the orange haired teen threw his way. If looks could kill both would have caused him major damage.
“And just what is THAT supposed t…” Renji began, yet Sado’s hand on his arm as well as Ichigo’s threatening glare stopped the words in his throat.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Ichigo muttered, moving towards the door.
***
Bracketed by an invisible but no longer inaudible shinigami and his best friend he exited Xcution’s complex, heading towards the train station. Orange and red bands striated over the dark shapes of buildings like a cardboard cutout on a stage set. That was how unreal the world outside seemed to Ichigo now that something had reawakened deep within. Every emotion rubbed raw now screamed for more. Still the tingling of a familiar presence and the sounds of a voice long denied were enough to keep him from pounding a wall in frustration of wanting to train more.
“Maybe you should stop someplace for the night,” Sado suggested.
“You got any ideas?” Renji asked, his body tingling with the same anticipation he figured Ichigo must be feeling now. He could almost taste the sexual tension raditaing off the orange haired teen for it mirrored his own aching desire. Just to think of the potential things they could do now that Ichigo could hear him drove him wild and mad with desire.
Keep it in yer hakama, Renji. Just a bit longer and we'll find some place t' be alone... he told himself.
“Since you’ve been here before?” Ichigo added, turning to his friend.
“There’s a hotel this way I’ve used the last time I was here,” Sado indicated, leading the way. Invisible fingers closed around Ichigo’s hand, giving them a squeeze. Relief filled the redheaded vice captain as he knew that Ichigo turned a slight sheepish smile in his direction.
Unfortunately he knew that Ichigo would have dozens of questions for him when they arrived at their lodging for the night. He only hoped he had the answers for his lover that would satisfy them both because he was just as concerned and mystified.