Pondering.
I know that I do not regret what I have done. But, I'm not sure it was the best decision.
Recently, I have had these urges to do things I have never done before, never had enough confidence to do before, or have taken no interest in participation. Don't get me wrong, that is a good thing.
I wish I knew where it is all coming from. And I wish that I had found all of this sooner, but I'll just have to deal with it and see where it takes me.
I have struggled for some time now with the feeling of alone. I hate it so much. I worry that I'll be alone forever -- on so many levels. I have a small group of friends that are incredible. Most of them I have met through working situations. Some of them are business partners. I truly have never been so supported and (hopefully) loved but such people in my life. I do a good job of ruining good things. I hope that these select few will be around for a long time. There are days that I'm not sure how I get through my days without them around. But this alone things remains. It's hard to explain, and I'm not so sure I have it completely sorted out in my head myself. I certainly don't mean that I'm going to go to extreme lengths to be accepted. God no!
A worry of forever being alone will plague me until I'm satisfied. But then again, who didn't see that coming?
mk.
Recently, I have had these urges to do things I have never done before, never had enough confidence to do before, or have taken no interest in participation. Don't get me wrong, that is a good thing.
I wish I knew where it is all coming from. And I wish that I had found all of this sooner, but I'll just have to deal with it and see where it takes me.
I have struggled for some time now with the feeling of alone. I hate it so much. I worry that I'll be alone forever -- on so many levels. I have a small group of friends that are incredible. Most of them I have met through working situations. Some of them are business partners. I truly have never been so supported and (hopefully) loved but such people in my life. I do a good job of ruining good things. I hope that these select few will be around for a long time. There are days that I'm not sure how I get through my days without them around. But this alone things remains. It's hard to explain, and I'm not so sure I have it completely sorted out in my head myself. I certainly don't mean that I'm going to go to extreme lengths to be accepted. God no!
A worry of forever being alone will plague me until I'm satisfied. But then again, who didn't see that coming?
mk.