(no subject)
yeah, so.. i'm tired. exhausted.. but yet still on the computer because i like to have some time to myself other than sleep. i want to watch law and order, don't even ask me why. i never liked it until i watched the marathon. maybe it'll come on.
i want to quit smoking, even though i just made dom drive me to the gas station. my throat has been killing me for weeks now... i just feel like shit every fucking morning. coughing my lungs out.. seriously like an 80 year old man. coughing up blood. it's bullshit. i don't understand why i started in the first place... not to "be cool".. i don't know. i want to get all my shit together. i'm still doing well in school, not in photo though. me and dom are good i guess, i'm just getting overwhelmed because all my free time has been devoted to him lately, and only him. i have no time to myself other than when i come home at 10:00 and watch tv for 2 hours.. and wake up even more exhausted than i woke up the morning before. when i get home, he feels the need to talk to me for every single second before i go to bed or else he thinks i'm on the phone with someone or doing something behind his back? is something wrong with this picture? hm, i think there is. i have never done anything for him to suspect i was cheating on him, i would never do to him what he's done to me. i just can't bring myself to do it. and then he has the NERVE to not trust ME? holy fucking shit. and it's so sad because this livejournal of mine is the only time i ever get to talk.. or i guess write about how i feel. i don't really have any friends that i trust anymore to talk to about anything. i obviously can't talk to dom. i don't know what the fuck anymore. i didn't even realize how upset i was until i sat down and wrote all this.
i want to quit smoking, even though i just made dom drive me to the gas station. my throat has been killing me for weeks now... i just feel like shit every fucking morning. coughing my lungs out.. seriously like an 80 year old man. coughing up blood. it's bullshit. i don't understand why i started in the first place... not to "be cool".. i don't know. i want to get all my shit together. i'm still doing well in school, not in photo though. me and dom are good i guess, i'm just getting overwhelmed because all my free time has been devoted to him lately, and only him. i have no time to myself other than when i come home at 10:00 and watch tv for 2 hours.. and wake up even more exhausted than i woke up the morning before. when i get home, he feels the need to talk to me for every single second before i go to bed or else he thinks i'm on the phone with someone or doing something behind his back? is something wrong with this picture? hm, i think there is. i have never done anything for him to suspect i was cheating on him, i would never do to him what he's done to me. i just can't bring myself to do it. and then he has the NERVE to not trust ME? holy fucking shit. and it's so sad because this livejournal of mine is the only time i ever get to talk.. or i guess write about how i feel. i don't really have any friends that i trust anymore to talk to about anything. i obviously can't talk to dom. i don't know what the fuck anymore. i didn't even realize how upset i was until i sat down and wrote all this.