I'm not okay

May 23, 2005 18:17

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insidiousslyth May 23 2005, 12:04:49 UTC
Fine, we'll do this here.

You're dishonest because everything you say is a lie. It's only true within the moment you say it, and then after that, it loses all meaning to you. You make promises you are unwilling to keep, to get what you want in the moment you make them, and then you're done. You're dishonest. I, at least, never lied to you.

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star_ruet May 23 2005, 12:07:03 UTC
I'd rather not discuss this in public but as you wish.

When did I lie to you? Be specific. I don't recall ever saying anything to you that was untruthful. As we agreed upon elsewhere; we are not together and haven't been for some time. I don't owe you anything - i'm under no moral obligation to be 'faithful' to you.

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insidiousslyth May 23 2005, 12:19:14 UTC
You were, at some point, under moral obligation to be faithful to me and you weren't. Repeatedly, you weren't. You play your little part, you slip straight into the victim and you cry, throw your fits, and manage to make me feel guilty for being angry with you when you were, in fact, that one that fucked up and deserve my anger. You make me feel like I'm needed by you, and you cling to my chests and mutter how you need me, want me, hope that I want you, how you love me, and either way, I'm fucked.

That is how you're dishonest. I don't mean anything to you, and if I do, they way you treat me is dishonest.

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star_ruet May 23 2005, 12:22:25 UTC
You do mean something to me.

I am surprised at the way you've taken this. Some people just aren't meant to be monogamous, I guess, Skylar. I figured you'd understand that. I have a short attention span. That doesn't mean I don't care about you, or that anything i've said has ever been a lie.

I just know what I want.

And unfortunately for you, Draco, and numerous other people I could name, I know how to get it.

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insidiousslyth May 23 2005, 12:29:00 UTC
That's the difference, Star. I'm surprised, that after so long, you're still ignorant to that.

I don't live my life this way. I don't get into relationships because I already know I'd be useless in them, and that's not something I'm interested in doing to myself, or anyone else. I'm not into that upclose kill. I get what I want, I have it, and I never leave them to believe I've ever wanted anything more. I never ask them for a relationship, even if I want it, when I know I'm unable to give it to them.

If your attention span is so short, Star, it'd be wise for you to realize that your attention is just that - It's not love, it's not affection, and it certaintly could never properly trasnlate into any sort of relationship. It's occasionally, it's once in a while, it's whenever you feel the need, and it should never go any further than that, and you, being as you are, should never want or expect more, and you should never give them the hope that they should expect more from you.

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star_ruet May 23 2005, 12:30:42 UTC
Don't presume to tell me how I do and do not feel.

I know what love is.

I've felt it - numerous times. It's not up to you to define it for me or place restrictions on how I can and cannot go about the practice of it.

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insidiousslyth May 23 2005, 12:34:46 UTC
I will tell you anything I damn well please, because I no longer feel the need to watch my mouth around you.

You can excuse your behavior in any bullshit mannor you find worthwhile. Everyone knows I do. I just don't have to pretend I believe it anymore.

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star_ruet May 23 2005, 12:36:45 UTC
So sorry I ever made you feel the need to reign in your personality.

Have a nice life.

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insidiousslyth May 23 2005, 12:38:58 UTC
It's all right, darling. My life will be fine without you in it.

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lavenderb May 24 2005, 09:38:48 UTC
Skylar?

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insidiousslyth May 24 2005, 09:40:52 UTC
Yeah?

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lavenderb May 24 2005, 09:42:17 UTC
Everything ok?

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insidiousslyth May 24 2005, 09:45:15 UTC
Everything is good, Niblet.

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