(no subject)
so things have been a little crazy in my life these past few days. recently things with ryan, ian, brittany and i have gone compltely crazy. i'll try to make the story short...
well it all started friday. ian, sims and i all stayed at wsu, and we got drunk with jason. i got in ryans face playing 4 square cause i got out, and ian told him to slap me.. how nice of him huh? anywayryan got annoyed and went inside. i guess the next day things were said between ian and ryan and later ryan told me that ian was lucky he still had his teeth. i told ian and then later saturday brittany messaged ian. i got super mad about this, so i went over to ryans room and started yelling asking whatthe hell she was doing messaging my boyfriend! she needs to keep her god damn nose out of MY business.. there is already too much drama here without her adding it in. well then ian comes up to wsu and talks to ryan, cause he is tried of all this drama.. and so isn;t everyone else. so they talk. and things seemed worked out. well then sunday brittany messaged me and so we got started talking. i asked her why she imed ian and then after that we started talking abotu ryan being on this mediction called paxil, which is an antidepressant and anxiety reliever. i mentioned that it was a dangerous drug and somehow i pissed her off at ryan. well then ryan yells at me for talking to brittany. in the end, ryan told me that he absolutely hates me and that i am the whole reason he is on paxil. so yeah.. total drama. i decided that it was best to just stop talking to ryan and brittany, so thats what i have been doing. if i don;t then i am sure i am going to run the risk of loosing ian and i don;t want to do that. i think its kinda funny that ryan sayd that i am the reason he is on paxil. he started taking them because he was getting panic attacks.. and he was with me. now he isn't with me..a nd he can;t live without the pills still.. and he says that he is in a happy relationship now. he shouldnt need them.. but whatever. he can go fuck himself. its not my fault he is on those pills. he just doesn;t know how to handle his life.
besides that, there has been alot of other drama in my life. well not drama but just alot of shit about me that i have been thinking about and its been kinda depressing lately. i feel like no one here really likes me. i feel like none of my friends at home care about me either. i just feel so alone right now. i just want someone to hold me and tell me that i am special. i want people to act like they want me around for once. i just wish that i didn;t feel this way anymore.
ok.. sorry i am done.. cause i don;t want to talk anymore. later..
well it all started friday. ian, sims and i all stayed at wsu, and we got drunk with jason. i got in ryans face playing 4 square cause i got out, and ian told him to slap me.. how nice of him huh? anywayryan got annoyed and went inside. i guess the next day things were said between ian and ryan and later ryan told me that ian was lucky he still had his teeth. i told ian and then later saturday brittany messaged ian. i got super mad about this, so i went over to ryans room and started yelling asking whatthe hell she was doing messaging my boyfriend! she needs to keep her god damn nose out of MY business.. there is already too much drama here without her adding it in. well then ian comes up to wsu and talks to ryan, cause he is tried of all this drama.. and so isn;t everyone else. so they talk. and things seemed worked out. well then sunday brittany messaged me and so we got started talking. i asked her why she imed ian and then after that we started talking abotu ryan being on this mediction called paxil, which is an antidepressant and anxiety reliever. i mentioned that it was a dangerous drug and somehow i pissed her off at ryan. well then ryan yells at me for talking to brittany. in the end, ryan told me that he absolutely hates me and that i am the whole reason he is on paxil. so yeah.. total drama. i decided that it was best to just stop talking to ryan and brittany, so thats what i have been doing. if i don;t then i am sure i am going to run the risk of loosing ian and i don;t want to do that. i think its kinda funny that ryan sayd that i am the reason he is on paxil. he started taking them because he was getting panic attacks.. and he was with me. now he isn't with me..a nd he can;t live without the pills still.. and he says that he is in a happy relationship now. he shouldnt need them.. but whatever. he can go fuck himself. its not my fault he is on those pills. he just doesn;t know how to handle his life.
besides that, there has been alot of other drama in my life. well not drama but just alot of shit about me that i have been thinking about and its been kinda depressing lately. i feel like no one here really likes me. i feel like none of my friends at home care about me either. i just feel so alone right now. i just want someone to hold me and tell me that i am special. i want people to act like they want me around for once. i just wish that i didn;t feel this way anymore.
ok.. sorry i am done.. cause i don;t want to talk anymore. later..