what?
I don't know what's going on in my life these days.. i'm just slowly losing it. I don't do anything productive, i go to work and sometimes class.. but other than that, i'm a useless piece of shit. I don't enjoy work too much, i never do my homework, i have fucking ruined my life over and over again, yet i don't seem to learn from my mistakes.. i'm just wasting oxygen. life's just too hard for me.. i'm not complaining.. i know it's hard for everyone, i just feel like i don't know how to get my shit together and make things happen. i basically go through life feeling melancholy, nothing exciting happens. i've got great friends and a good job and i have a bf.. but still i feel nothing is working out. (especially me!) i'm mad at myself for everything, yet it's so hard to change my behavior.. i'm not sure why, since i know i have a problem, it's just the way i've always been, and i'm too lazy to change it. i go through these phases of being psyched about the world and changing for the better.. then my old habits come back into play. it pisses me off. am i the only one that feels this way, or is it just part of growing up? i wish i had some guidance, a shoulder to cry on, someone to show me what to feel. i always believed that life would turn out better than i thought, but so far, it's always the same. i just want a brand new start.