Why me

[star_lit_love]

As I sit here listening to this song I sit and reflect about the past 7 years of my life....and the song brings back memories of her, and it makes me wanna cry. With all the pain and shit she put me through for some reason I keep running back. God only knows why. Like it sucks so much. All I wanted was to be with her and be happy but yet she always fucked me over. Weather it was just leaving me for nothing or tossing me aside for some guy, always second to her. Never really cared about me I was just there.....a convienience to her....just there at the right time I guess....hurts so much. I wish I could go back to that day....the very first time 7 years ago when she asked me out and just scream NO BECAUSE ALL YOUR GONNA DO IS CAUSE ME PAIN FOR MY ENTIRE SPAN OF MY TEENAGE YEARS!!!!!! Just so much drama its so ridiculous. Why does she do this shit to people.....I kinda feel bad for her cuz she honestly doesnt see how she acts.....she thinks she doesnt do half the shit she does or she just doesnt thionk about what she does and how it affects other people.....as long as she is happy. God this song is so fucking good because it is just so true I guess. I dunno I just hate getting fucked by people.....thats why I am considering JobCore just to get away from my fucking life....escape to Maine away from it all where I can just start a new life. Hey maybe with the money I make there Ill rent an apartment in New Hampshire or Maine and start a new life where no one knows me and the chances of me running into anyone I dont want to are 1000000000000 to 1 of course select people will still see me (i.e. Diann, Angie, Shannon, Star, Jes and all them) but no one like her cuz I mean my heart just cant take anymore of the weight I am puttin on it from her and her drama and me just trying to help but no......al;ways sorry....always :changing: but no results....I dunno I just wanna keil over and die sometime I honestly feel that if I died alot of people would be truly happy....I know I will not be missed by many some yes but no one will really let it impact their life....Well anyway Im done rambling.....comment.....

*sigh*

Lauren