breakfast at tiffany's
today has been a day of many firsts.
yeah, i haven't updated in for*e*ver, because i've had no way to express myself. and i couldn't bare to do life such injustice. oh well, i guess i'm gonna try tonight anyway.
thursday night was amazing.
but, back to my day of many firsts.
my first day at the job: 8 children. general age = 3-4. one of the kids has trouble communicating. he's mine. adorable. exhausting, but earned $30. i was dressed shabby and didn't have time to change before i went to...
my first day of voice lessons: the lady was nice. she taught me how to breathe correctly. she liked my voice. haha, in case you didnt catch that... it was wierd. she wanted me to sing "far from the home i love." i laughed. my assignments are: to buy some books and practice breathing (ok... if *that* doesnt make me sound blonde...) and practice "many a new day" from oklahoma. while waiting for my voice lesson to begin, though, i got...
my first invitation to a date with thomas: haha... so i don't know about "date," his exact words, i believe, were to "take me out to dinner and a movie." how cliche. he asked my mom first. how "a walk to remember." i'm going. geeze louise, i hadn't been able to stop thinking about him 'til part of yesterday and today. i told myself, "if he doesnt call by tuesday, he's not going to." thus, i guess i lost hope. crap. now i feel really wierd. against all odds, i'm actually wishing it didnt have to be "a date." clearly, we both like each other... a lot. and clearly, such feelings usually bring about a desire to "date" the said "liked other." but clearly, if it was going to work out, it already would have... and it hasnt... so i'm a bit apprehensive to having to get over him *again*. and, this may seem random, i *really* wish i atleast *understood* his beliefs. i tried... it just doesnt make sense to me. and my beliefs, or rather, my God, is what holds me together. how can i want to be with someone so badly who doesnt even know the hope that i have? so i think i'm gonna have a great time tomorrow night, and hopefully it can turn out quite friendly, with everything i've wanted, and yet we'll decide to not be together but stay close (like... good friends(?)). hopefully. his parents are going to the aerosmith concert. geeze louise, that sounds like a lot of fun.
that last "first" was a long one, huh? and i'm still not done writing about it to de-cobweb my mind. don't worry though, i'll do the rest in private.
and then i babysat my kids for the last time ever. :( they're wonderful. cameron is so precious.
the storm was awesome. one thunderbolt was soooo loud, that i, sitting outside w/ my parent, shrieked aloud. haha. and the neighbors car alarm went off. and my dad made the "bleep-bleep" sound that is supposed to turn off car alarms. and the noise stopped immediately. and he and i had a nice laugh.
i'm reading little women. delightful, really. so innocent and unlike these days. kinda bitter-sweet i guess.
does this mean i'm not going to church tomorrow night? hmm. i think so...:(
as i think about my summer, and the things that have transpired in *only a week,* i cant help but think... ~THIS IS NOT MY LIFE~ since when has my life even remotely resembled a job, great kids, dates with peaople like thomas that make me melt, voice lessons, pupfest, and success?? i'm quite left behind, while my life speeds by, wondering absolutely: what do i do?
sigh. what do i do?
it's kinda like breakfast at tiffany's, i think. too bad that movie was never one of my favorites.
yeah, i haven't updated in for*e*ver, because i've had no way to express myself. and i couldn't bare to do life such injustice. oh well, i guess i'm gonna try tonight anyway.
thursday night was amazing.
but, back to my day of many firsts.
my first day at the job: 8 children. general age = 3-4. one of the kids has trouble communicating. he's mine. adorable. exhausting, but earned $30. i was dressed shabby and didn't have time to change before i went to...
my first day of voice lessons: the lady was nice. she taught me how to breathe correctly. she liked my voice. haha, in case you didnt catch that... it was wierd. she wanted me to sing "far from the home i love." i laughed. my assignments are: to buy some books and practice breathing (ok... if *that* doesnt make me sound blonde...) and practice "many a new day" from oklahoma. while waiting for my voice lesson to begin, though, i got...
my first invitation to a date with thomas: haha... so i don't know about "date," his exact words, i believe, were to "take me out to dinner and a movie." how cliche. he asked my mom first. how "a walk to remember." i'm going. geeze louise, i hadn't been able to stop thinking about him 'til part of yesterday and today. i told myself, "if he doesnt call by tuesday, he's not going to." thus, i guess i lost hope. crap. now i feel really wierd. against all odds, i'm actually wishing it didnt have to be "a date." clearly, we both like each other... a lot. and clearly, such feelings usually bring about a desire to "date" the said "liked other." but clearly, if it was going to work out, it already would have... and it hasnt... so i'm a bit apprehensive to having to get over him *again*. and, this may seem random, i *really* wish i atleast *understood* his beliefs. i tried... it just doesnt make sense to me. and my beliefs, or rather, my God, is what holds me together. how can i want to be with someone so badly who doesnt even know the hope that i have? so i think i'm gonna have a great time tomorrow night, and hopefully it can turn out quite friendly, with everything i've wanted, and yet we'll decide to not be together but stay close (like... good friends(?)). hopefully. his parents are going to the aerosmith concert. geeze louise, that sounds like a lot of fun.
that last "first" was a long one, huh? and i'm still not done writing about it to de-cobweb my mind. don't worry though, i'll do the rest in private.
and then i babysat my kids for the last time ever. :( they're wonderful. cameron is so precious.
the storm was awesome. one thunderbolt was soooo loud, that i, sitting outside w/ my parent, shrieked aloud. haha. and the neighbors car alarm went off. and my dad made the "bleep-bleep" sound that is supposed to turn off car alarms. and the noise stopped immediately. and he and i had a nice laugh.
i'm reading little women. delightful, really. so innocent and unlike these days. kinda bitter-sweet i guess.
does this mean i'm not going to church tomorrow night? hmm. i think so...:(
as i think about my summer, and the things that have transpired in *only a week,* i cant help but think... ~THIS IS NOT MY LIFE~ since when has my life even remotely resembled a job, great kids, dates with peaople like thomas that make me melt, voice lessons, pupfest, and success?? i'm quite left behind, while my life speeds by, wondering absolutely: what do i do?
sigh. what do i do?
it's kinda like breakfast at tiffany's, i think. too bad that movie was never one of my favorites.