(no subject)
WARNING: this is an emo livejournal entry.....beware and if you are one of my more cynical friends just skip it...
Anyways, I think I'm probably the only one that feels this undefinable sadness right now. I don't know if I'm going through a phase or im really lonely or being a junior sucks or whatever...but I know it's bad. I feel unproductive and awkward. I realized alittle while ago that I'm always trying to get away from here or myself. Maybe I like acting so much because I get to be someone else, someone who knows what the fuck they want. im obsessed with traveling and seeing the world cause it's kind of an escape. I shouldn't be unhappy. I have no reason. I just feel so unfulfilled, so empty. I always thought by this age I would've accomplished something, and i havent. Is that what my life is going to be? just a dissapointment to my expectations.
I hate caring about what other people think, and i generally dont, but there are alot of acceptions. I also feel so lonely. It takes so much for me to open up to people. I think ive maybe opened up to like 3 people in my life, and no matter what they never fully understand. I feel like i don't care about anything anymore. I care more about accomplishing something in my life than being happy....am i the only one that feels that way? I think i always pictured myself doing great things when i was little, but always from someone else's perspective. I never pictured myself feeling anything...and as of right now i dont. I feel numb and I know no one understands. I'm stupid for complaining when i know people out there have real issues and i'm so lucky. It'd be great to give all my shit away. To stop depending on material hapiness. ughh i don't know whats going on with me. could someone just tell me?!
once again emo entry....i apologize
Anyways, I think I'm probably the only one that feels this undefinable sadness right now. I don't know if I'm going through a phase or im really lonely or being a junior sucks or whatever...but I know it's bad. I feel unproductive and awkward. I realized alittle while ago that I'm always trying to get away from here or myself. Maybe I like acting so much because I get to be someone else, someone who knows what the fuck they want. im obsessed with traveling and seeing the world cause it's kind of an escape. I shouldn't be unhappy. I have no reason. I just feel so unfulfilled, so empty. I always thought by this age I would've accomplished something, and i havent. Is that what my life is going to be? just a dissapointment to my expectations.
I hate caring about what other people think, and i generally dont, but there are alot of acceptions. I also feel so lonely. It takes so much for me to open up to people. I think ive maybe opened up to like 3 people in my life, and no matter what they never fully understand. I feel like i don't care about anything anymore. I care more about accomplishing something in my life than being happy....am i the only one that feels that way? I think i always pictured myself doing great things when i was little, but always from someone else's perspective. I never pictured myself feeling anything...and as of right now i dont. I feel numb and I know no one understands. I'm stupid for complaining when i know people out there have real issues and i'm so lucky. It'd be great to give all my shit away. To stop depending on material hapiness. ughh i don't know whats going on with me. could someone just tell me?!
once again emo entry....i apologize