Keep going, even if you're dying, you're still able to fight damnit.
A follow up to my eariler post from a cold LAN party...
As an additional resolution, I will be posting far more often, cause I really miss doing blogs. Also, I might be switching to a new, fresh LJ since i'm just too lazy to clean out the friends list. Everyone, except for a few people, have moved to myspace so thats where alot of my blogs/announcements are going. I'll keep everyone updated on whats up. If you have myspace, it is myspace.com/umiryuuzaki ; if you want to add me, just sent a invite request and if its just a fresh one, send me a msg or call my cell up and i'll add ya.
I want to get this out of my system and say it: Yes, I am slowly entering depression, but i'm doing the best I can to keep it at bay. It seems my sadness was just a cover for it and didn't realize it. Trying to find the source of it and kill it, or perhaps I need to change myself. I'm finding myself in need of a change thats unique and will take a good long time to slowly transition into it. I hate being anti-social. Reserved, respective, and shy yes, anti social fuck no. I want to boost my confidence much higher and most of all, my self esteem. Those two have deteriorated to a point even I thought was impossible. I feel determined to get out of this rut, perhaps the first important step in fixing my broken life. Then next is other things, but it will remain a personal matter.
Enough ranting a bit, anyways...
Alright, my memory is a blurr but, i'll do the best I can to describe what I can remember.
7 days before New Years: picked up Warhammer 40k's Dawn of War expansion, Dark Crusade. I like the fact it doesnt require the base game and up until now and even now i'm enjoying the game. First time i've felt like this save perhaps the original WH40k Dawn of War and my first 72 hours into World of Warcraft. The fact I can stop the game at any time rather than just "omfg afk" is a rather cultural shock in a sense. This game alone has made me stop playing WoW. Shocker isnt? If you're a WH40k fan, I strongly recommend picking it up. Other than that, nothing really happening until the LAN. WTB better social life or a quality + cool girlfriend at that point.
New Years Eve LAN party: Yes, I spent New Years at a LAN party. Before I get asked, "why a LAN party?", it was for the fact I was meeting a TON of new people, esp from the somethingawful wowgoons group. Damn funniest 4 days i've had in a LAN scene in ages. Sure, the game selection was not the greatest, but having a good social time with them was more enjoyable and making new friends is a good thing. Swear to god though, lots and lots of homosexual attitudes in the air, but in all good tastes and jokes. Also lots of drinking. Cant remember what I drink, but I remember white russians and big ones. Strong shit too but enjoyable in the cold weather, like in mother russia =P
The day/week after New Years: Spent some catching up time with Mark Young, good times. Trying to help up fix up his system and letting him enjoy the Dark Crusade game. Did that on 2 separate nights and I was cool with it. I also went to the Elephant Bar for the first time and OMFG, I love the food and drinks! Kinda felt like a TGIF's atmosphere but in a strange upper class taste. I love it. I'll have to save the location for future occasions/dates/wtfever.
This weekend: On thursday, I find out George/Bartboy has decided to invite me over to Tap X in Milpitas for Friday and I enjoyed the overall course of the events of that night, despite my little anti-socialism kicking me. Gotta get that checked out or something, but it was a...I cant fucking describe it but happy feeling...in seeing Pauline again. Havent seen her since July and she seemed different (and Yes I agree George). We all caught up and it seem this year is starting off very interestingly. Details hidden for private reasons, but this will get interesting. Once things settle down, it'll be great once I bring people down to these hangouts, they're interesting and fun.
Saturday was...just "eh". Kinda woke up beyond fuck late, had to get my car jumped (sadface) then played some Initial D. One good result is, I finally got my 5th star for Bunta-based runs for Tushikoma (spelling?) outbound and i'm happy. Now I can confidently keep going at least. I ended up being solo and heading to the steve/rob/dave apartment and caught up a bit in the times. Drinking, smoking, Wii-ing, good times.
Right now: i'm blogging, kinda feeling down but eh, whats new?
Thats enough for now, kinda want some warhammer action before I sleep. This upcoming week is gonna be crazy.
As an additional resolution, I will be posting far more often, cause I really miss doing blogs. Also, I might be switching to a new, fresh LJ since i'm just too lazy to clean out the friends list. Everyone, except for a few people, have moved to myspace so thats where alot of my blogs/announcements are going. I'll keep everyone updated on whats up. If you have myspace, it is myspace.com/umiryuuzaki ; if you want to add me, just sent a invite request and if its just a fresh one, send me a msg or call my cell up and i'll add ya.
I want to get this out of my system and say it: Yes, I am slowly entering depression, but i'm doing the best I can to keep it at bay. It seems my sadness was just a cover for it and didn't realize it. Trying to find the source of it and kill it, or perhaps I need to change myself. I'm finding myself in need of a change thats unique and will take a good long time to slowly transition into it. I hate being anti-social. Reserved, respective, and shy yes, anti social fuck no. I want to boost my confidence much higher and most of all, my self esteem. Those two have deteriorated to a point even I thought was impossible. I feel determined to get out of this rut, perhaps the first important step in fixing my broken life. Then next is other things, but it will remain a personal matter.
Enough ranting a bit, anyways...
Alright, my memory is a blurr but, i'll do the best I can to describe what I can remember.
7 days before New Years: picked up Warhammer 40k's Dawn of War expansion, Dark Crusade. I like the fact it doesnt require the base game and up until now and even now i'm enjoying the game. First time i've felt like this save perhaps the original WH40k Dawn of War and my first 72 hours into World of Warcraft. The fact I can stop the game at any time rather than just "omfg afk" is a rather cultural shock in a sense. This game alone has made me stop playing WoW. Shocker isnt? If you're a WH40k fan, I strongly recommend picking it up. Other than that, nothing really happening until the LAN. WTB better social life or a quality + cool girlfriend at that point.
New Years Eve LAN party: Yes, I spent New Years at a LAN party. Before I get asked, "why a LAN party?", it was for the fact I was meeting a TON of new people, esp from the somethingawful wowgoons group. Damn funniest 4 days i've had in a LAN scene in ages. Sure, the game selection was not the greatest, but having a good social time with them was more enjoyable and making new friends is a good thing. Swear to god though, lots and lots of homosexual attitudes in the air, but in all good tastes and jokes. Also lots of drinking. Cant remember what I drink, but I remember white russians and big ones. Strong shit too but enjoyable in the cold weather, like in mother russia =P
The day/week after New Years: Spent some catching up time with Mark Young, good times. Trying to help up fix up his system and letting him enjoy the Dark Crusade game. Did that on 2 separate nights and I was cool with it. I also went to the Elephant Bar for the first time and OMFG, I love the food and drinks! Kinda felt like a TGIF's atmosphere but in a strange upper class taste. I love it. I'll have to save the location for future occasions/dates/wtfever.
This weekend: On thursday, I find out George/Bartboy has decided to invite me over to Tap X in Milpitas for Friday and I enjoyed the overall course of the events of that night, despite my little anti-socialism kicking me. Gotta get that checked out or something, but it was a...I cant fucking describe it but happy feeling...in seeing Pauline again. Havent seen her since July and she seemed different (and Yes I agree George). We all caught up and it seem this year is starting off very interestingly. Details hidden for private reasons, but this will get interesting. Once things settle down, it'll be great once I bring people down to these hangouts, they're interesting and fun.
Saturday was...just "eh". Kinda woke up beyond fuck late, had to get my car jumped (sadface) then played some Initial D. One good result is, I finally got my 5th star for Bunta-based runs for Tushikoma (spelling?) outbound and i'm happy. Now I can confidently keep going at least. I ended up being solo and heading to the steve/rob/dave apartment and caught up a bit in the times. Drinking, smoking, Wii-ing, good times.
Right now: i'm blogging, kinda feeling down but eh, whats new?
Thats enough for now, kinda want some warhammer action before I sleep. This upcoming week is gonna be crazy.